Marriage and Communal Finances?

[wildrider]

Re: kindagettin'married in Kentucky
« Reply #10 on: Today at 10:04:41 AM » Quote

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HAHAHAHA! A honeymoon is a great reason to buy an extra detector!!! Soapbox, anyone, on the topic of "marriage and communal finances"? LOL.


I'll start, since I am rarely at a loss for words ....

Hmmm....?
Hmmmmmmm....?

OK, I'll tell you. Finances are important and have sunk many marriages.

We'll be married 18 years on April 1.

My Story:

Preface:

Always be considerate of each other. Listen to each others stories when you come home during a relaxing time.

When you start out you need to trim expenses. Not going out to eat all the time. We ate alot of 3/$1 mac and cheese, hotdogs and hmbrgr/tuna helper. They're cheap and and you can fix enough for tomorrow's lunch. Pizza on Thursday night and Sunday dinner with the in-laws.

1.5 years in an apartment and we decided in '92 that we/she should start paying on a house. We refinanced after two years from 9%/30 years to 6%/15 years for $30 more a month. [Our house will be paid off next year and assesses for almost $50K more than when we bought it].

- We've had 8 new vehicles bought and paid for since '89.

- We tithe and for the most part manager our hard earned money for things that we need....NOT think that we need.

I'll tell you we're just average folks with average paying jobs. As I mentioned before, you need to manage your money and don't buy things that you can't afford.

I sound like your dad don't I.

Here is what we came in with:
+ We made her pre-marriage accounts (checking and savings accounts) joint.
+ I had my own checking from pre-marriage that I kept separate.
+ She has never had a credit card, I have and always will. I don't carry cash unless I
know I need it. She goes to the ATM for herself.
+ I had business accounts when I sold detectors that I put in both of our names in case
something happened to me.
+ An account at the Credit Union where I could usually get cheaper interest rates when I
needed money for a big purchase. (Dealer financing is NEVER as good as they make it
look).


We made a deal that she'd pay the mortgage and her bills and I'd pay off the credit card IN FULL each month, any car payments and maintenance and do most of the shopping. DON"T get behind to the credit companies and remember...cheaper/longer loans cost alot more than higher/shorter loans.

It helps that we don't have kids to support, both with jobs that offer great health benefits and supportive family.

I say all this, not to be boastful, but to teach.
Any pride I have comes from knowing the Lord has put a good brain in my head.

Just live within your means.

Good Luck!

Burt

 

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[wolfmanjoe3]

Wildrider – interesting topic and a great story.

It saddens me to hear about how many people are in debt up to their eyeballs. The statistics about rising credit card debt are shocking. I have done some volunteer teaching through Junior Achievement and it is appalling how little high school kids know about basic financial management (a.k.a. budgeting). While there are certainly situations where people are in debt due to circumstances beyond their control, too many people just don’t know how to manage their finances.

Maybe it is just the way I was raised, but I had my own passbook savings account when I was 11 or 12 and my first checking account at 18. I have been earning and saving money since my early teen years. I was taught to “pay yourself first” and have set aside a minimum of 7% of my gross income since my first job after college. After ~24 years in the work world, my retirement savings is adding up. I hope to semi-retire before I turn 60 and spend more time with my wife (and metal detector…).

The way you split your bills and accounts between you and your wife seems to work for you. We do it differently and it works for us. We have several joint accounts and we each have our own credit cards. We do the ‘frequent flyer’ reward credit cards and try to charge everything – AND pay off the entire balance every month so we are not paying 16-24% interest on outstanding balances. That’s throwing money down the drain.

We too give generously to our church and other charities. We are fortunate to have good jobs with great benefits. We live within our means and manage our money wisely. It isn’t that we don’t have bills to pay – with three kids in college and one more to go, there are always bills. But you hit it on the head when you said:

When you start out you need to trim expenses. Not going out to eat all the time.

The key is setting up a budget and sticking to it. The income has to be greater than the spending. If it isn’t, you have to find places to cut costs. Alcohol, cigarettes, movies, dinners out, and other ‘discretionary’ items are targets to cut if the minuses outweigh the plusses. I know most people don’t want to hear that – especially the younger generation with the instant gratification mentality – but those who manage their finances well early in life will reap the rewards later in life.

When I was buying my first house, a guy who was my mentor early in life urged me to buy a “hotdog house.” What’s a hotdog house I asked? He said we should buy a house with a mortgage barely within our budget – so that we would have to live on hotdogs and peanut-butter-n-jelly to get by. He said we would easily make our mortgage payments as soon as we started getting pay raises. In the meantime, it taught us to live frugally. It worked and we built up a significant equity in property value over time.

Like you Wildrider, I don’t say this to preach or brag – just to share my experience in hopes that some of the younger crowd on TNet take advantage of the voice of experience, and benefit themselves in the long run.

My humble 2 cents…
Joe

 

[1320]

Dang, this is one of the best threads I've seen in a while! I am a Dave Ramsey fan, follower and believer and I AM DOING BETTER THAN I DESERVE

Living within your means is awesome but living WELL within your means is sooooo much better. That's what I do. Hamburger helper and grits are a staple in my home.

I'm pretty sure that Tom's wife is Head of Household.....LMAO!

 

[wildrider]

I like Ramsey too

He has a good show. He has sound advice to the folks who don't want debt, or have debt and want to be free of it.

I don't know what clicked in me to be more thrifty. But when you buy a house and figure the interest payments and see your actually paying seven to ten times the original price when you take out a 30 year loan, you try to find ways to reduce that cost.

Other advice is;

Start an IRA of some sort, invest in mutual funds (401K or 403B) if your able. You'll be happy in the FUTURE , especially if the do away with social security.

If you have it direct deposited, and figure your budget on the rest you bring home, you should end up with a good nest egg and if you don't count on it being there, you don't spend it.

Thanks for listening.

Burt

 

[mark.]

..........I too am a Dave Ramsey fan. My bride & I went thru FPU & successfully paid off $21,700 in debt within 7 months. During that time, our FPU class of 10 couples cut up 38 credit cards ( yes, even Victoria Secrets & Lowe's cards ) & I was the 1st in line to start.

I had 2 cards, cut them up & haven't miss them since. One year later, we have 3 accts......a regular checking we pay bills, a emergency fund with 10K. and one with $1500. in it we call our stupid fund.....meaning a fund we can take trips or buy something "stupid" with. ( like detectors if I wanted one )

The only debt we have is a mortgage & I buy everything with cash now. Anything I want over $300. in price gets cash flashed in front of their eyes for a better deal or I walk.
Ramsey is a classic example of rags to riches, broke & multi millionaire again & he's my age, approx 46 years old.

If you follow Ramsey's plan with intensity, you'll get out of debt. It's a simple program, unlike those that requires a PHD to follow.
Check out this link for a FPU video to get started:

http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/home/index.cfm?fuseaction=dspSecondaryHeaderContent&intContentId=3004

It's the best 100 bucks you'll ever spend..............see ya mark