This Guy was in Deep S--t

[jeff of pa]

The July 2026 Porta-Potty Rescue: In mid-July, the Kansas City Fire Department had to use an electric saw to cut apart a portable toilet. A man somehow became trapped beneath the waste tank seat and had to be rescued by emergency crews before getting a much-needed hose-down beside the fire truck. He told officials he climbed into the structure to retrieve something.

 

[ticndig]

I once read a report of a man who would get in the port-a-jon tank of the lady's toilet at the beach to get an eye full as they relieved themselves on his face. The human race is a strange animal.

 

[jeff of pa]

He told officials he climbed into the structure to retrieve something.

I'm Curious , is that How he Told the Police ?

Something ?

or did he Tell them what he supposedly lost.

Or was he Waiting for pictures of Brown-eyes ?

 

[jeff of pa]

imo there is Nothing Worth Climbing in.
If It's that Important , Get the Company the Rent-A-Crapper Belongs to,
To Clean it Out !!

 

[Crow]

I once read a report of a man who would get in the port-a-jon tank of the lady's toilet at the beach to get an eye full as they relieved themselves on his face. The human race is a strange animal.

Some people are just into weird shit.

 

[philber]

One day my Grandpappy saw a guy tossing three silver dollars down the hole of his outhouse. Curious, he asked the guy what the hell he was doing and the guy said, "I dropped a half dollar down there and there aint no way in hell I'm going in there for just a half dollar!"

 

[Red-Coat]

Reportedly, crews from Patriot Portable Restrooms were collecting units after an event related to the FIFA World Cup. One of company’s drivers checked each unit was unoccupied before loading them up, but one was locked. The driver knocked on the door and told the occupant he had ten minutes to ‘finish up’, but the man inside refused to come out when the driver returned.

The driver flagged down a police officer riding by on a motorcycle to help, but the man inside claimed that he couldn’t leave because he couldn’t reach the door handle. After gaining entry from the outside, they couldn’t see anyone at first, until a head popped up from the waste tank beneath the seat.

The unnamed man claimed he had been stuck for eight hours after climbing into the tank to retrieve a bottle of Mountain Dew he had dropped there the night before.

 

[Crow]

Reportedly, crews from Patriot Portable Restrooms were collecting units after an event related to the FIFA World Cup. One of company’s drivers checked each unit was unoccupied before loading them up, but one was locked. The driver knocked on the door and told the occupant he had ten minutes to ‘finish up’, but the man inside refused to come out when the driver returned.

The driver flagged down a police officer riding by on a motorcycle to help, but the man inside claimed that he couldn’t leave because he couldn’t reach the door handle. After gaining entry from the outside, they couldn’t see anyone at first, until a head popped up from the waste tank beneath the seat.

The unnamed man claimed he had been stuck for eight hours after climbing into the tank to retrieve a bottle of Mountain Dew he had dropped there the night before.

Good grief, how expensive is a bottle of Mountain Dew now? And even if you retrieved it, why would he drink it? Yep some people that dumb should not be allowed to breed.

That's nuts; he's got to be a tweaker.

Crow

 

[DizzyDigger]

This is an actual picture snipped from Google Maps of the exact location where this occurred.
I added a few arrows just to make things more clear.

Big truck pulls into the closed weigh station, and he has to go......badly. Whips
the rig into a parking spot, hops out and runs over to the outhouse to do his business.
Problem was, he was in such a hurry to get to the pooper that he forgot to set his brakes
on the slightly downhill parking.

Yep, he steps in and drops his drawers, and then his truck slams into the outhouse,
knocking it 30 ft. down the hill, while the front axle of the truck rolls over the edge
but fortunately (for him) it gets high centered because of the steep angle.

I arrived (hadda p) just as the State Troopers were pulling him out of the outhouse,
and the guy was covered head to toe with turds, used toilet paper and whatever
kinda chemicals were in the thing.

By this time there's a dozen troopers standing there watching, 'cause this was the
best show in town.

Guy stripped his clothes off right there, and a trooper gave him a set of coveralls to put
on. Next thing I know, the guy is climbing back down to the outhouse, where he had
hung his jacket on the hook. I asked him what was so important about that soiled jacket
that he was going back to the overturned outhouse....and he says:

"I got a sammich in the pocket!"

Everybody, troopers included, were just howling with laughter...

And that folks is a real noshitter...saw it with me own eyes.

 

[Crow]

This is an actual picture snipped from Google Maps of the exact location where this occurred.
I added a few arrows just to make things more clear.

Big truck pulls into the closed weigh station, and he has to go......badly. Whips
the rig into a parking spot, hops out and runs over to the outhouse to do his business.
Problem was, he was in such a hurry to get to the pooper that he forgot to set his brakes
on the slightly downhill parking.

View attachment 2262455

Yep, he steps in and drops his drawers, and then his truck slams into the outhouse,
knocking it 30 ft. down the hill, while the front axle of the truck rolls over the edge
but fortunately (for him) it gets high centered because of the steep angle.

I arrived (hadda p) just as the State Troopers were pulling him out of the outhouse,
and the guy was covered head to toe with turds, used toilet paper and whatever
kinda chemicals were in the thing. View attachment 2262453

By this time there's a dozen troopers standing there watching, 'cause this was the
best show in town.

Guy stripped his clothes off right there, and a trooper gave him a set of coveralls to put
on. Next thing I know, the guy is climbing back down to the outhouse, where he had
hung his jacket on the hook. I asked him what was so important about that soiled jacket
that he was going back to the overturned outhouse....and he says:

"I got a sammich in the pocket!"

Everybody, troopers included, were just howling with laughter...View attachment 2262452View attachment 2262452View attachment 2262452


And that folks is a real noshitter...saw it with me own eyes. View attachment 2262454

I reckon God whispered to Saint Peter in Heaven, " Hey Peter, watch this?" Hilarious.


Crow

 

[Crow]

Okay, Digger, when it comes to poo stories, Old Crow has more than his fair share.

The following picture is not a picture of where this happened, but it illustrates what the place was like, and still is.

Back in 98, I was in the Peruvian Amazon. I was heading to a village near the Colombian-Peruvian-Brazilian border. If it was not the asshole of the world, it was pretty close to it. This village, you could smell the place before you could get to it; I was walking on a raised wooden walkway between shanty houses over the river. There was no sanitation. Some of the walkway was pretty rotten from the humidity. I fell through the walkway into the mud below, up to my neck, which was a mixture of piss, shit, and river mud. I stank for a week afterward, no matter how many times I swam in the Amazon River.

I got a gob full of water. I got so sick that even the local criminals who robbed everyone else took one look at me, crossed themselves, and stayed away from me. I was looking green, running a massive fever. I looked like death on two legs with something very contagious. Even the border guards, after a bribe- I was trying to give them money, and they did not want to touch anything belonging to me; they stepped back and waved me through for free. That's how I entered Brazil

Crow

 

[k0bgalan]

Human scat is indeed smelly, and so is rotting vegetable matter. All said and done, nothing is worse than the combination of Cadaverine and Putrescine! The question is, how do I know? Because, at the ripe age of 16, I had to clean up the remnants of a person who rented space from my parents. At the time (circa 1956) there weren't any specialized companies doing this kind of work. Yes, I did wear a filtered mask which helped, but everything I wore had to be tossed. Even the memory of it is imbedded to this day!

 

[Red-Coat]

As a slight digression:

In 1961, the Italian artist Piero Manzoni produced a work consisting of ninety numbered cans that he claimed contained his own excrement. The work was titled “Merda d'artista” (the artist’s sh*t) and each can is labelled in Italian, English, French, and German with:

“Artist's Sh*t. Contents 30 gr net. Freshly preserved. Produced and tinned in May 1961”

Picture by Jens Cederskjold https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

There are various stories about why he did this, some or all of which may be true, including: it was a riposte to his father telling him his work was sh*t (his father owned a meat cannery); as satiric mockery of the pretentious modern art world; and that, since he was an artist, then everything he produced should be regarded as art.

He had earlier written to his friend Ben Vautier:

"I should like all artists to sell their fingerprints, or else stage competitions to see who can draw the longest line or sell their sh*t in tins. The fingerprint is the only sign of the personality that can be accepted: if collectors want something intimate, really personal to the artist, there's the artist's own sh*t, that is really his."

Manzoni initially valued the cans at $37 each, which was equivalent to their weight in gold at the time, subsequently adjusted according to the daily market price for gold. Later, one can sold at Sotheby’s in 2007 for €124,000, and another in 2008 for £97,250; one at Christies in 2015 for £182,500; and one at a Milan auction in 2016 for €275,000.

At least one of the cans is reported to have leaked (at an art museum in Denmark, from improper storage conditions) and a partially-opened one was displayed in France in 1989. The latter was variously described as containing an unidentifiable paper-wrapped object and a “can within a can” which was not further explored. Agostino Bonalumi, a former friend of Manzoni, claimed that the cans are filled only with plaster, but no-one knows for sure since the steel cans have defied detailed X-ray examination and fully opening one would destroy its value.

The Tate Modern, who acquired one of the cans in 2000, drily observed that by 1991 the work had outperformed the gold price by a factor in excess of 70, and in retrospect has proved to be “a bargain.”

A number of other artists have followed in Manzoni’s footsteps, including Gavin Turk’s "Artist's P*ss" where he canned his own urine and sold it for its weight in silver.

 

[Red-Coat]

Another bit of scat trivia for you.

If you should come across a vintage nativity set in a thrift store and it includes a figurine of this little chap, it probably came from Spain, and likely from the Catalan region, especially if he’s wearing a traditional red Catalan stocking cap called a ‘barretina’.

He’s also found in nativity sets from other parts of Spain, parts of Portugal, Southern France and Italy, along with the figurines of Mary, Joseph, Jesus, the crib, the wise men, shepherds and company, or sold separately for inclusion in the scene. He’s known in Spain as ‘El Caganer’ (the sh*tter) and has been included in nativity scenes since the late 17th Century, possibly representing fertilisation of the Earth and its renewal for a new year.

By tradition, he’s tucked away in a hidden corner and has become part of a fun game for children to see who can spot him first. The practice is tolerated by the Catholic church.

Since the 1940s, the tradition has extended to include figurines styled as nuns, devils, Santa Claus and then later as celebrities or politicians including British Royalty, American Presidents and Michael Jackson. Also cartoon figures such as Disney princesses, Papa Smurf and SpongeBob SquarePants.

I’m almost sure none of this is mentioned in the biblical narrative.

 

[Red-Coat]

I once read a report of a man who would get in the port-a-jon tank of the lady's toilet at the beach to get an eye full as they relieved themselves on his face. The human race is a strange animal.

Top Tip: Do not, under any circumstances, Google the unsafe for work term '2 girls, 1 cup', which even has it's own Wikipedia page!