What not to say to the nice officer.

[bigscoop]

Cop: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
You: "No. I was counting on you for that."

Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
You: "Because you heard those silly voices coming from my trunk?"

Cop: "Are you impaired?"
You: "No mamm."

Cop: "Have you been drinking?"
You: "No. I only drink just before bank jobs."

Cop: "Could you step out of the car please."
You: "Only if you'll get back in yours."

Cop: "Didn't you see that red light?"
You: "You have red lights in this country? Cool!"

Cop: "You're not wearing your setbelt."
You: "And you didn't draw your gun. Now then, who's safer? Me or you?"

Care to add to this list?

 

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[slowNsteady]

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
You: Revenue generation?

Note: this results in an automatic citation

Cop: Your eyes look red, what have you been doing?
You: Your eyes look glazed.... you been eating doughnuts?

 

[spartacus53]

Cop: do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Sorry, I am still shaking and there's a handgun under the front passenger seat as well as an automatic in the rear seat. The dope isn't mine, it belongs to the dealer I have stuffed in the trunk.

Cop: back-up arrives and he starts telling the story

Me: I bet he's going to tell you there's a body in the trunk too