Michelle
Bronze Member
- May 7, 2006
- 2,405
- 6
- Primary Interest:
- All Treasure Hunting
Somebody didn't Flush 
Or a Self Cleaning Toilet!
Or a Self Cleaning Toilet! Do you Fold or Wad?
- Thread starter surfrat96
- Start date
T
TreasureTales
Guest
Oops, that was me. I thought I was using the ferret. Sorry. 
GunFarce
Hero Member
This reminds me of the old trapper, that would always brag that he had only ever felt pain twice in his entire life...
The first time was when he parked his butt over the edge of a log to take a dump, and never noticed the beartrap chained to the log until it slammed shut on his testicles..
The second time....was when he reached the end of the chain..
May 'someone else' stamp out the burning bag for you
The first time was when he parked his butt over the edge of a log to take a dump, and never noticed the beartrap chained to the log until it slammed shut on his testicles..
The second time....was when he reached the end of the chain..
May 'someone else' stamp out the burning bag for you
WV Hillbilly
Hero Member
lol , you all must be city slickers , haven't you ever heard of corncobs ? 
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TreasureTales
Guest
WV Hillbilly said:lol , you all must be city slickers , haven't you ever heard of corncobs ?
Hey don't insult me!!! Here in the boondocks of northern California, corn doesn't grow so well. We got plenty of pot farms so maybe we should try that instead? I can hear the conversation at the pot farm now, "uh, no seeds or flowers for me, please, I need the intact leaves only...I have a fold/wad job to do." "OK, we've got the sani-wipe plants over here, you can choose which one we harvest for you."
Michelle
Bronze Member
- May 7, 2006
- 2,405
- 6
- Primary Interest:
- All Treasure Hunting
Funny you should mention this.......TreasureTales said:WV Hillbilly said:lol , you all must be city slickers , haven't you ever heard of corncobs ?
Hey don't insult me!!! Here in the boondocks of northern California, corn doesn't grow so well. We got plenty of pot farms so maybe we should try that instead? I can hear the conversation at the pot farm now, "uh, no seeds or flowers for me, please, I need the intact leaves only...I have a fold/wad job to do." "OK, we've got the sani-wipe plants over here, you can choose which one we harvest for you."
Hemp as paper products
Trees must grow for 20 to 50 years after planting before they can be harvested for commercial use. Hemp, on the otherhand, can be harvested within 4 months after it is planted.
Fewer caustic and toxic chemicals are used to make paper from hemp than are used to make paper from trees.
Hemp produces 4.3 times as much pulp fiber per hectare than trees.
Hemp paper lasts 4 to 5 times longer than paper made from trees.
Hemp paper does not yellow with age like acidic paper made from tree pulp.
Hemp paper products can be recycled seven times, while white paper made from wood pulp can only be recycled three times.
All types of paper products can be produced from hemp: newsprint, computer paper, stationary, cardboard, envelopes, toilet paper, even tampons.
If the hemp pulp paper process of 1916 were in use today, it could replace 40 to 70% of all pulp paper (from trees), including corrugated boxes, computer printout paper and paper bags
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stefen
Guest
Found this on a web site...it's funny...It goes hand in fist with this TP (tissue problem). 
An English gent (not verified) -- 12.21.2005
I normally sit whilst wiping, lifting my left buttock to get access to the bumcrack. Generally, I sit upright to wipe, but sometimes I lean forward. I normally wipe from the rear, from front to back. Occasionally, for variety, I wipe from between my legs, from back to front.
If I am confident that my arse is more or less clean when I start (no great chunks adhering) I will stand up to wipe. I then stand upright to attention; I do not lean forward with my bum sticking out behind me. I always use the paper in sheets of "three ply" and do not screw the paper up before applying it to the bumcrack.
Most of my friends sit to wipe. I have known three Germans who stood up, but two of them began by wiping from a sitting position,before standing up for the main wipe. I have an English friend who stands up. I had an English friend who raised his arse off the seat, put his head right down below his knees and wiped between his legs from back to front.
I have an English friend who wipes both from behind and between his legs. He leans well forwward to wipe. I had a Polish friend who raised his arse well above the seat to wipe from behind, but did not stand up fully. I had a Korean friend who stood up really straight when he wiped. He also sat "to attention" when he evacuated and did not lean forward at all.
Virtually all my other friends whose habits I know of remain seated to finish off the job, possibly raising one buttock, but often not moving the buttocks except to lean further forward, either pushing the paper down through the bum crack (back to front), or pulling it upwards (front to back).
An English gent (not verified) -- 12.21.2005
I normally sit whilst wiping, lifting my left buttock to get access to the bumcrack. Generally, I sit upright to wipe, but sometimes I lean forward. I normally wipe from the rear, from front to back. Occasionally, for variety, I wipe from between my legs, from back to front.
If I am confident that my arse is more or less clean when I start (no great chunks adhering) I will stand up to wipe. I then stand upright to attention; I do not lean forward with my bum sticking out behind me. I always use the paper in sheets of "three ply" and do not screw the paper up before applying it to the bumcrack.
Most of my friends sit to wipe. I have known three Germans who stood up, but two of them began by wiping from a sitting position,before standing up for the main wipe. I have an English friend who stands up. I had an English friend who raised his arse off the seat, put his head right down below his knees and wiped between his legs from back to front.
I have an English friend who wipes both from behind and between his legs. He leans well forwward to wipe. I had a Polish friend who raised his arse well above the seat to wipe from behind, but did not stand up fully. I had a Korean friend who stood up really straight when he wiped. He also sat "to attention" when he evacuated and did not lean forward at all.
Virtually all my other friends whose habits I know of remain seated to finish off the job, possibly raising one buttock, but often not moving the buttocks except to lean further forward, either pushing the paper down through the bum crack (back to front), or pulling it upwards (front to back).
![:-\](https://www.treasurenet.com/smilies/undecided.gif "Undecided :-\")
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TreasureTales
Guest
stefan, IMO you have reached the epitome of coarse "humor." And I refuse to crack up over it. So wipe that smile from your face. hehehe
OP
OP
surfrat96
Bronze Member
- Thread starter
- #73
stefen said:Found this on a web site...it's funny
An English gent (not verified) -- 12.21.2005
I normally sit whilst wiping, lifting my left buttock to get access to the bumcrack. Generally, I sit upright to wipe, but sometimes I lean forward. I normally wipe from the rear, from front to back. Occasionally, for variety, I wipe from between my legs, from back to front.
If I am confident that my arse is more or less clean when I start (no great chunks adhering) I will stand up to wipe. I then stand upright to attention; I do not lean forward with my bum sticking out behind me. I always use the paper in sheets of "three ply" and do not screw the paper up before applying it to the bumcrack.
Most of my friends sit to wipe. I have known three Germans who stood up, but two of them began by wiping from a sitting position,before standing up for the main wipe. I have an English friend who stands up. I had an English friend who raised his arse off the seat, put his head right down below his knees and wiped between his legs from back to front.
I have an English friend who wipes both from behind and between his legs. He leans well forwward to wipe. I had a Polish friend who raised his arse well above the seat to wipe from behind, but did not stand up fully. I had a Korean friend who stood up really straight when he wiped. He also sat "to attention" when he evacuated and did not lean forward at all.
Virtually all my other friends whose habits I know of remain seated to finish off the job, possibly raising one buttock, but often not moving the buttocks except to lean further forward, either pushing the paper down through the bum crack (back to front), or pulling it upwards (front to back).
ROFLMAO
Your a piece of work Stef! Really Detailed! LOLHH 8) surfrat
Nitro 54
Full Member
About time this post gets flushed.
S
stefen
Guest
WV Hillbilly
Hero Member
Here I sit , in fumes and vapors , some sob used all the paper , now I'm late and cannot linger , lookout @$$&*^# here comes my finger By the way I have all this figured out .Ladies fold , Men wad .
Dimeman
Bronze Member
TP---- is this getting out of hand No wonder mother told me to wash my hands after..........
No wonder mother told me to wash my hands after..........
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stefen
Guest
Dimeman said:TP---- is this getting out of hand
You want it out of your hand.
Now, getting it off of your hand is your problem. Duh!
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