Your top pick for worst movie ever made?

hollowpointred said:
that and that cher movie mask. the best thing that happened in the whole movie was the deformed kid died. by the end of that movie i had wished that i had died! ;D
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Cripes... I've been laughing for five minutes!!!
 

Here are my picks for worst movie ever. I've even been kind enough to include a plot synopsis in the hopes that you will simply read my post and never, EVER have to see them.

First, 1980's movie called "The Stuff." Low budget horror flick with a flashy nasty 80's wardrobe about a yogurt called "The Stuff" that brainwashes everyone and turns them into a zombie. The white gunk is addictive--and it doesn't even have fruit on the bottom or granola sprinkles. So naturally the CEO's of the multinational corporation that made it are loving the sales. And somewhere in there they decide that being rich is not enough and in addition they'd like to just take over the world. (You see, they're not users, just pushers.) I still think that the anti-drug campaign of the 80's would have been much more effective if they tied kids to chairs and forced them to watch this film instead of showing them 20-second advertisements showing yummy munchies--I mean fried eggs sizzling in a pan...) Anyhow, back to the "plot"... A socially ignorant kid who never goes outside of his house long enough to see an advertisement for the product and probably doesn't even have a TV set somehow escapes the brainwashing and saves the world. I think there was a wise old Asian guy in it...or maybe that was just every other 1980's movie besides this one... Anyhow, apparently none of the producers of this still-born disaster of a movie ever stopped to consider how in the world the promoters of such a product could get anyone to buy a yogurt called "The Stuff" in the first place, much less a plain vanilla yogurt without fruit on the bottom or granola sprinkles...


Second 1980's cinematic abortion: "Remo Williams." This is a gross, shameful foray into mixing together a bad cop film, a mafia film, and a martial arts film. So a guy named "Remo Williams" (who looks like Stevie Seagal on meth) meets this random old wise Asian guy named "Chung." (REALLY original name there) He probably met him when "Chung" delivered his pint of pork fried rice from the local "Jade Dragon Buffet #714." Anyhow, so he finds out that this random old wise Asian guy is actually a martial arts master, and he decides to train with him--in Chung's upscale New York apartment??!!--so that he can really kick some butt. So it turns out that Chung has some cool moves (this part is almost redeemable), the greatest of which is his ability to run on the surface of a body of water without getting wet (no cheesy special effects here--just a platform hidden two inches below a lake). Remo is not able to master this trick. (Probably because he has no platform hidden two inches below a lake...) In the "dramatic climax" of the movie, Remo climbs all over the Statue of Liberty for 30 minutes of screen time trying to fistfight these dirty cop mafia dudes rather than just taking the easy route and shooting them. He then finds himself cornered by the dirty cop mafia dudes and surrounded by freshly poured cement. He then decides to try running across it and succeeds this time--EPIPHANY!!! Then the bad guys run after him and drown in the wet cement. And everybody is happy. And something is accomplished by all of this, but we're never quite sure what...

***SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: ATTEMPTING TO RENT OR PURCHASE THESE MOVIES POSES A SERIOUS RISK TO YOUR HEALTH***
 

Any and all movies with either Stallone or Jane Fonda!
 

I like most of the Tarrantino movies just because you do leave thinking what the thell did I just see? A bit too violent for some and a bit more dirty language than most like, but Pulp Fiction was a masterpiece. Ditto Junkyard Dogs. The rest of this stuff I didn't care for however. He is a real weirdo I admit. Monty
 

Monty said:
I like most of the Tarrantino movies just because you do leave thinking what the thell did I just see? A bit too violent for some and a bit more dirty language than most like, but Pulp Fiction was a masterpiece. Ditto Junkyard Dogs. The rest of this stuff I didn't care for however. He is a real weirdo I admit. Monty
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Monty... I concur.
 

any movie with steven seagull stallone jane fonda john wayne especially wayne draft dodger and adulterer a total fraud in my book
 

Ghostbusters II, I mean C'mon, the first one was Without a doubt one of the coolest movies made in the 80's, and after that the best they can do is a painting with a bad attitude and "the good sludge". It disgusted me, I mean, BILL MURRAY had to struggle to be funny !!!

I also agree with Bowser, Steven Seagull SUCKS !!! The only "martial art" he ever invented is the "crap actor" style.
 

TheSleeper said:
Attack of the killer tomatoes

Most westerns had a lesson that was trying to be tought to a young generation in them, and John Wayne was truly an american Icon.
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That was one of the best movies ever!!!!!!!
 

One was on TV just the other night that I had forgotten about. "Mars Attacks". They tried everything to kill the Martians and nothing was effective until some old lady found out that Slim Whitman yodeling made their heads blow up! Gag, wretch.... M >:( nty
 

I can't tell you how long it's been since I've seen something other than Disney in the theaters. A couple of years ago, I took my kid to see this movie with Bill Murray that I was soooo bad...I honestly think my 9 year old could have made a better flick. I don't even remember the name of this one..let's just say it was forgettable..it had to do with the inner workings of the human body and how it fights infections..it was supposed to be funny, but it just ended up being gross and stupid..I think it insulted the intelligence of it's target audience
 

Battlefield Earth or Howard the Duck. You choose.

An honorable mention goes to American Beauty: a pretentious script that benefitted from a far better cast than it deserved. Trash middle class America. Wow, there's a theme that's been hammered at constantly for the last 20 years. The script reads like it was penned by a preppy grad student at UCLA Film School, still angry and mommy and daddy for not buying him that pony he wanted when he was seven...
 

Ashleen said:
the Blair witch project
the gods must be crazy
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the Blair witch project -- Hated it... was damn stupid.
the gods must be crazy -- Kinda liked it in an artsy kinda way when I saw it in a little tiny movie theater in Manlius, NY in... 198?
 

The Gods Must Be Crazy is funny i think.......i mean a coke bottle as a evil thing ??
sounds crazy !!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D .Its in my local library's video and DVD collection, curiosity got the better of me !
 

Monty said:
I like most of the Tarrantino movies just because you do leave thinking what the thell did I just see? A bit too violent for some and a bit more dirty language than most like, but Pulp Fiction was a masterpiece. Ditto Junkyard Dogs. The rest of this stuff I didn't care for however. He is a real weirdo I admit. Monty
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Have you seen "Four Rooms" Monty? It's only partially Tarantino, and it's an acquired taste, but I love it.

Ditto on "Tank Girl," although I'm sure most here would disagree with that.
Mmmmmm.....Lori Petty.....
 

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