A darker side of Relic/treasure Hunting.

[Davers]

This my not make since but here goes....

2 times in the past year I have heard from guys saying how the "Obsession " of Relic hunting
hurt their family in the past ,both saying things like " I should have spent more time with my wife & kids. My favorite quote was from this past weekend, "I know how the 49'ers Felt".

Many times my wife complains about my detecting , my son is 61/2 & Cares nothing about detecting
(i think this is normal for 6 & a Half). While I do not hunt everyday , I hunt Sundays all day usually , maybe all day once a week & a couple hours maybe once a week. I do the Day during the week more so in the spring & Fall or on a site that's under development & going away quick.

I don't see much wrong with this but she does , we still do things as a family but 80 % of their time is 'wife= Smart Phone, Games' & 'Son= Video Games , Movies "again Normal".

I have an Addictive Personality & Keep wanting that "Rush" of Finding something Cool.
but then again in the End as they say " You can not take it with you" & One can have only so much Stuff most people will never see anyway.

As humans many like me always want more 'Greedy Much?'
Heck I would find "The Holy Grail" & be out looking for the Ark the next day..

Reckon how much is Enough

Anyone else Feel like this or Know someone who does?

Just Thinking ....

Davers

 

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[bigscoop]

I think the virtual world has to be controlled or it will consume one's life. As a parent and spouse I think part of that role is doing just this, maintaining some measure of control over the environment and content around your children and your relationship. Life is meant to be lived, not watched or texted. Everyone should have the right to choose their own path in life but there is a balance that also must be maintained, especially in the young who are still going to experience, and should experience, a lot of new content. Excess of anything is bad so perhaps you and your wife need to sit down and set some new parameters. When you get my age and your children are grown and they have their own lives you will have all the time in world but right now your family needs you and this time will pass away faster then you can possibly know.

 

[Charlie P. (NY)]

It is not limited to relic hunting.

Golf, drinking, smoking, religion, sailing, fishing, hunting, eating, internet forums, knitting . . . anything can be addictive.

Moderation is the best thing - Cleobulus

 

[TSCOM]

It is not limited to relic hunting.

Golf, drinking, smoking, religion, sailing, fishing, hunting, eating, internet forums, knitting . . . anything can be addictive.

Moderation is the best thing - Cleobulus

Exactly. OP, can't you take your family along? When I go, my son (2y/o) likes to dig. My wife walks around for exercise. Maybe your son will want to play in woods.

 

[mangum]

I hear about these issues all the time. I'm single & that's looking better & better everyday. I don't like being told what to do, having a boss even annoys me. What's wrong with having one day to yourself? NOTHING AT ALL!

 

[CincinnatiKid]

We all have obligations, family, work, community, etc. In order to take care of these obligations we must take care of ourselves first.
And I kinda feel bad for kids these days. $500 cell phones, computers, gaming systems and many more, entice kids to stay in the house. Back in the day, we had none of that. We came home from school, changed into our "play clothes", grabbed the bicycle and headed for the nearest ball field. Home was for eating and sleeping.
Just my 2cents. Just wish I had an 1864 2cent piece.
Good luck
Peace

 

[DigIron2]

It is not limited to relic hunting.

Golf, drinking, smoking, religion, sailing, fishing, hunting, eating, internet forums, knitting . . . anything can be addictive.

Moderation is the best thing - Cleobulus

I thought it was gonna be another ghost story!I think Charlie nailed it,there are worse things you could be doing with your time.And one sin is no greater then the other so to speak.Personally hunting refreshes my mind and soul,not to mention probably keeps me out of trouble.Besides the family,gotta enjoy something in life man.HH

 

[Tom_in_CA]

mangum hit the nail on the head.

I can understand the moral/ethical obligation to deal with one's kids. Sure. But in-so-far as spouses, it seems that they would have entered into the relationship with a respect for your personal space. Ie.: to have known ahead of time that you want to detect. And if the day-ever-came where I had to "get my wife's permission" of when & how much I can metal detect, that would be a sad day indeed.

I forewarned my wife before we married, that when duty-called (beach storms hitting, old-town urban demolition going on, etc...) that I would be gone. That's just me. She was pre-warned.

An analogy: Let's say you're a star NFL quarterback (Joe Montana, etc...). When the super-bowl occurs each year, you will be called on by the media to be at the star events, put in your comments to the sports analysis, etc... But lo & behold, your wife announces to you the day before, that on super bowl Sunday she wants you to go shopping with her. Or to the opera, or whatever. Seems to me that you could tell her "tough". I mean, with all due respect for the spouses wishes, it seems that sometimes, they can not, nor should not, be able to "tell you what to do".

 

[locater]

CHILDREN AND FAMILY ARE THE REAL TREASURES!!

I look at detecting as a very enjoyable hobby, along with hunting, fishing, golf and other pursuits. I enjoy them when I can. Children and family are obligations I committed to when I said those vows, and chose to have children. Over the years we as parents sacrifice a lot in terms of time and treasure for our kids futures, and family.

Finding my first gold ring was pretty exciting. Finding a gold ring w/7 diamonds, and all the rings and gold/silver thereafter, or catching a 30lb salmon, my first 8 point buck. Good memories, but can't compare to holding my newborn children in my arms for the first time, your child saying "I love you daddy", watching your child's important accomplishments as they grow up. A new grandson. Those are the real things in life worth remembering.

As my youngest child is entering college, and I approach retirement, MY time begins, to enjoy my hobbies as I choose. As I look back, it was all worthwhile, no regrets in the sacrifices I made. Life is good!!

 

[Davers]

It is not limited to relic hunting.

Golf, drinking, smoking, religion, sailing, fishing, hunting, eating, internet forums, knitting . . . anything can be addictive.

Moderation is the best thing - Cleobulus

Oh i know what you mean Charlie P .
I'm still a Slave to Cig's & Know many a Man who has worked their 'productive' lives away and missed all the key points in their family's lives & Guy's who Golf or Fish Every Spare moment they have.
Hmmm..Many are recovering Substance abusers.
Moderation is def,the Key.
Davers

 

[Davers]

Exactly. OP, can't you take your family along? When I go, my son (2y/o) likes to dig. My wife walks around for exercise. Maybe your son will want to play in woods.

Been There Tried That...LOL

 

[Davers]

I hear about these issues all the time. I'm single & that's looking better & better everyday. I don't like being told what to do, having a boss even annoys me. What's wrong with having one day to yourself? NOTHING AT ALL!

Yeah I Recall You saying you were Single, 'Stay that way Until you are sure that you found the one that completely knows & understands you'..Dr Davers LOL

 

[Davers]

I thought it was gonna be another ghost story!I think Charlie nailed it,there are worse things you could be doing with your time.And one sin is no greater then the other so to speak.Personally hunting refreshes my mind and soul,not to mention probably keeps me out of trouble.Besides the family,gotta enjoy something in life man.HH

Yep, Like I tell Her "I could be out chasing Skirt's" or "Spending $ 'Other than Gas' every Time I leave the House.
& Hey You got a few nice Rings out of it". Def, Could be worse.

 

[Davers]

mangum hit the nail on the head.

I can understand the moral/ethical obligation to deal with one's kids. Sure. But in-so-far as spouses, it seems that they would have entered into the relationship with a respect for your personal space. Ie.: to have known ahead of time that you want to detect. And if the day-ever-came where I had to "get my wife's permission" of when & how much I can metal detect, that would be a sad day indeed.

I forewarned my wife before we married, that when duty-called (beach storms hitting, old-town urban demolition going on, etc...) that I would be gone. That's just me. She was pre-warned.

An analogy: Let's say you're a star NFL quarterback (Joe Montana, etc...). When the super-bowl occurs each year, you will be called on by the media to be at the star events, put in your comments to the sports analysis, etc... But lo & behold, your wife announces to you the day before, that on super bowl Sunday she wants you to go shopping with her. Or to the opera, or whatever. Seems to me that you could tell her "tough". I mean, with all due respect for the spouses wishes, it seems that sometimes, they can not, nor should not, be able to "tell you what to do".

We been Married 11 years now & she knew I detected when we Got married & Her 'Trying' to tell me When I can & can't go detecting is where the Strife Comes in.
I figure as long as I'm still getting my duties around the house done it's Cool.

The guys I Originally Spoke of were Old School Relic Hunters ie, They Started Back in the Early 70's when the relics were MUCH more abundant & before Development Ruined 1,000'S of acres prime Relic Hunting Lands.
At our local Relic show I commented on one guy's Big Collection of Confederate Buttons & he Said " Yeah that's Many months of time put in digging those things, I was Obsessed & it was hard on my family"
I know hindsight is 20/20. One must make the best Decision he/she can on such matters now ( While we still can).

+ Joe Montana's Wife was getting $$$$$$$$ Paid.

 

[Davers]

CHILDREN AND FAMILY ARE THE REAL TREASURES!!

I look at detecting as a very enjoyable hobby, along with hunting, fishing, golf and other pursuits. I enjoy them when I can. Children and family are obligations I committed to when I said those vows, and chose to have children. Over the years we as parents sacrifice a lot in terms of time and treasure for our kids futures, and family.

Finding my first gold ring was pretty exciting. Finding a gold ring w/7 diamonds, and all the rings and gold/silver thereafter, or catching a 30lb salmon, my first 8 point buck. Good memories, but can't compare to holding my newborn children in my arms for the first time, your child saying "I love you daddy", watching your child's important accomplishments as they grow up. A new grandson. Those are the real things in life worth remembering.

As my youngest child is entering college, and I approach retirement, MY time begins, to enjoy my hobbies as I choose. As I look back, it was all worthwhile, no regrets in the sacrifices I made. Life is good!!

Sounds like you made some Wise Choices over the years. Very Cool..
Davers

 

[Diggin-N-Dumps]

I know excatly what you are talking about. When I first started, I was dragging my son around every chance I had..he was only 4 at the time. But I did that for a couple years. and then his mom ended up moving back to Florida and taking him with him. I lived (still do) with the guilt of being selfish and not doing things HE wanted to do. Thou we did have some good times, because he is a great kid. I just look back and wish I would have focused a little more time with him.

What sucks...is I go to Florida a few times a year, and STILL all i can think about is dectecting. Luckily my oldest boy (13) actually loves detecting and when he came to visit me this summer, we had a good full week of it and he never wanted to quit.

Im actually going there in 2 weeks to see them again, and debating if I should take the detectors...My oldest wants too, but I get so caught up in it, Its all i can think about, when I should be thinking about spending time with my family


Ok, sorry for all that..still working on my first cup of coffee

 

[Jason in Enid]

I don't see much wrong with this but she does , we still do things as a family but 80 % of their time is 'wife= Smart Phone, Games' & 'Son= Video Games , Movies "again Normal".

.

Davers

The answer is "everything in moderation". If everyone is spending all their time doing things alone, you have a real problem. Nothing wrong with having personal interests, but you have to have some time doing things together as a family.

 

[goldenIrishman]

You detector guys think you've got it bad? Try being a gold prospector/miner! I'm out in the field for weeks at a time either looking for new areas to claim or working the claims I have already. When I'm not out in the field working, I'm in the shop building/repairing equipment!!! Try finding a lady that doesn't mind that! I can tell ya it's harder than finding proof of Big Foot. Of course this is the life style that I picked for myself and everything has its costs.....

 

[petecnc]

my wife was always happy to see me going out detecting. no matter how often i went, probably cause she got first dibs on any jewelery i found. plus we would save up all the clad till we had enough to go out to eat, see a movie. there are ways to keep the better half happy while we enjoy our hobby.

 

[MUDSLINGER]

Is it any wonder they call marriage an institution. as I observe the new modern woman demanding more and more influence over the family men are being religated to a subordinate role. modernation may bring us to a point where marriage will no longer be fulfilling.