Barbie Dolls for the Coal Region of Pennsylvania.

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

Mahantongo Street Barbie: This princess Barbie is sold only at The Yuengling Mansion. She comes with an assortment of Prada Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

Mt. Carmel Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Spends her summers at Knoebels and eating subs from Matucci's.

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

Saint Clair Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

Orwigsburg Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Closeted Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

Shendo Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Comes complete with her own cell phone with 462 exchange. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

Tower-City Barbie: This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Ravenna Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

Minersville Barbie: This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Minersville Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

Pine Grove Barbie: This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

Mahanoy City Ken: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts. Don't forget the shooooes like Oh My Gosh. Like Totally. Like Real!

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

Hazelton Barbie: She yus lookin' for all three of her baby's daddies mon. Set comes with baby Nieshia and baby Twanna.

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

Shamokin Barbie: Complete with her own pack of Camel's and Pabst. For a limited time only, 1962 Rambler available to transport her and Ken to the Strippin Hole for those Back Woods Parties! Partying Coal Township police sold separately.

jeff of pa · Jan 31, 2011

COMING SOON. Tamaqua Barbie complete with Broad Street Drug Rap Sheet, Girardville Barbie including Guiness Beer Keg and free membership to The Domestic Violence Society, and last but not least..Pally Barbie with her own spaghetti maker and a free Costas Candy bar!

dogpound · Jan 31, 2011

i think the "hamburg" Barbie would resemble the "shamokin" Barbie :laughing9:

mark v · Feb 1, 2011

I'll take one of each

Tubecity · Feb 9, 2011

Thanks Jeff, these are hilarious. I don't even know these towns but most would fit in perfectly here
around the 'Picksburgh' area. I laughed so hard, my wife just looked at me & shook her head.
Where can I find them ?