Can One Convert a Bear?

pat-tekker-cat

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Three Holy Men and a Bear

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquettein the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talkshop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't reallyall that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. Theywould all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attemptto convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and hadvarious bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when Ifound him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap mearound.So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Motherof God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out nextweek to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm andboth legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers,you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me abear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But thatbear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down onehill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quicklyDUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he
became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lyingin a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs andmonitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, ....circumcision maynot have been the best way to start..."


:laughing7: Mod's, that ain't crossing the "religion" line is it? :laughing7:
I mean, if it is, just take it down/remove it. no harm no fouls meant. :hello:
 

Don't care what persuasion, that's funny . . . and isn't religious in nature. I think it should stay.
 

This is a prime example of a "Lesson Learned" whereby it's bearly obvious that a schmizzel is important in the animal kingdom.
 

Inuits, when hunting bears called this whacking the tally...

Hence the term tallywhacking...8-)
 

When I first saw this, I thought it was an old one I'd heard before. Glad I read it all.:laughing7:

The one I was thinking about was when the bear was converted during the wrestling match. The bear had the guy pinned down, and said "Thank you Lord for this food"
 

I'm going to bear all of this mind.
 

I wonder if these people ever have trouble gathering their bearings?
 

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