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[Mental Granny]

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[BigDan]

Johnny's just trying to be funny, I think

I obviously enjoy the humor of Spartacus. And I LOVE British humor, at least what is exported to the U.S. And British rock. My Grandfather married a fine lady of English parents who had emigrated to Iowa. His brother married her sister. This was in Burlington, Iowa on the far Southeast corner of the state. The girls father, My Great Grandfather Atkins, was concerned at losing both girls because my Grandfather, all of his six brothers, and their father, were all on their way to the State of Washington.

An arrangement was made where as one of the two brothers must stay in Iowa if there were to be two weddings. My Grandfather Heiko stayed. After the wedding....he promptly moved with his young bride to the far Northwest corner of the state!

I guess that was his sense of humor.

 

[spartacus53]

You got that right Dan. Dano kindda scares me....It's like reading my own posts sometimes and I get confused

I really have to search my family roots from the London area. My grandfather had brothers, but with the life he had, I never asked him much about his core family. He ran away from home at 15 to strike out on his own.. Yeah, I do get the whole British humor thing, trust me, I lived it

And now for the event Mental Granny was waiting for. This is 100% factual, and I only had to change "one" word. I'm sure you will figure that one out on your own.. In case you can't it's also the name of a small bird

For the longest time, I was by all intents and purposes a very shy guy.. I know, that is hard to believe, but true. I don't know if it was a lack of confidence, fright, or being afraid of rejection. Once I got past that stage I was truly "out there", and never looked back.

I used to go to clubs in Manhattan at least 3 times a week and this club was right in the middle of "fashion" industry. This is not the garment district, but the designers district. I was at the club when I noticed 2 very attractive women. The "move" of the day was always to get yourself between the ladies by excusing yourself and ordering a drink. The barmaids knew me all too well and would just smile knowing I was up to something.

Like any good way to meet people you start off with small talk and the best was always your job. I always held one job, and one job only. However, I did have a million occupations and today I was a dress designer. I was carrying on about designing until one started to question me. I guess she had her doubts and it was up to me to put her fear to rest. One was very petite and the other slightly larger, so I turned to the petite girl, looked her over and said, "You're a size "5", she said yes. I turned and did the same to the other girl and said "You're a size "8" and I was correct again.. Now I knew I could hold their attention, so I then commented on the petite ladies blouse, talking about the style and the material. I then got around to asking how much she paid for he blouse and $25 was her reply. I don't know how, or why I said it, but it seems words just flow from my mouth with such ease after having having a few. I told her "that for $20 I could have gotten her that blouse with breasts in them". Her mouth dropped to the floor and the other girl nearly spit her drink out. After that we got along well for the rest of the night and enjoyed a few dances.

 

[Mental Granny]

I would havce laughed as I spat my drink out if you told me I coulda got one with b o o b s in it !

 

[Ray S S]

They say Beauty is only skin deep, but, of course that is all the deeper you need it. Everybody's gizzard and liver all
looks the same anyway anyway. LOL.

 

[Dano Sverige]

I can find nothing wrong and no changes to be made in the "Spartacus plan"! In fact up until yesterday it was always known as "the Dano plan"! scary.

That story's a killer mate! (Though dangerous.)

 

[spartacus53]

I can find nothing wrong and no changes to be made in the "Spartacus plan"! In fact up until yesterday it was always known as "the Dano plan"! scary.

That story's a killer mate! (Though dangerous.)

I have also been a pilot, surgeon, chemist, actor, and a host of other people. Funny what a few drinks can do to ya Each time I went out and depending how I was dressed I would shoot for a new occupation. I found it keep my mind thinking and ideas fresh. I think I loved the challenge of trying to be something I wasn't and seeing how far I could get.

Think of it as "improv" on acid

 

[Mental Granny]

I only heard one guy before tried to use the actor bit. And everyone at the table all girls just started laughing at him. I kinda felt bad for him. But, he was a good dancer.

 

[ivan salis]

why do girls "settle" for 6 pack abs --when they can get a whole "keg" ?

 

[spartacus53]

I only heard one guy before tried to use the actor bit. And everyone at the table all girls just started laughing at him. I kinda felt bad for him. But, he was a good dancer.

They only laughed because he didn't know how to pull it off.. In these situations, you had to learn how to control and steer the conversation into I what I call my "safe zone". This is what sets apart the "Imitators", from the real Spartacus. I am one extremely quick thinker, especially under pressure and I love to entertain. This was the reason I went to begin with, have some fun and fun I had.

Getting to your "safe zone" is an art, one that you can learn more about in my latest book, "You're questioning me?" On sale at your larger book chains, and online, I wrote this one under the pen name Ima Enigma.

OK, back to "how" to pull this off. Once you say you're an actor, bells and alarms are going off in these ladies heads and the first thing they say is, "I don't recognize you". I would always say of course you don't recognize me, you weren't looking for me, or remembering my scene. I would then tell them I am not a "marquis" actor, but more of an in the scene type of actor. I would tell them if I was lucky, I did get a few lines, but nothing major. Now the ball is in your court and you have full control as you have already disarmed their doubt. It's that easy and always be confident!!

All anyone had to do was just know a recent "big hit" pretty well and go for the obscure scenes. At the time "Dirty Harry" was one that I would refer too. Just ask, did you see that movie.. Yes. Well if you remember the bank robbery I was the 3rd crook he shot. I would just keeping naming movies and inject myself into a role. The fun part is that you can play that game as long as you like, or until you get bored and decide to fess up. For the most part I've been called an idiot. I then have to remind them, "if I am the stupid, what kept you here all the while?" If you can't take a joke, you're surely talking to the wrong person right now.

Overall, my thought processes are slightly different for the average person. Secondly, I am not afraid to potentially embarrass myself for the sake of a good laugh. Yes, there are others out there that can do this, but let me remind you of a little Seinfeld episode called the "Contest" This was the key scene
Jerry: It's just like shaving
Eliane: But I shave
Kramer: Yeah, but not everyday

Now you have a broader picture..

 

[spartacus53]

why do girls "settle" for 6 pack abs --when they can get a whole "keg" ?

Now here we have an example of a cute one liner. Asking a woman this may get you a chuckle, but if you break it down to the core elements and make a little story out of it you will get their attention. This of course is not anything to use as an opening line, but once you are already talking to someone, this is where you change the topic and discuss fitness.

I can talk fitness all night long as though I were Jack Lalanne! Once you are already talking just ask the woman, "what do you girls see in 6 pack abs anyway?" You let her talk for a while and then you can ridicule yourself and say, "wouldn't you prefer the whole keg". That my friend is how to hit them out of the park...

If you can't nail it humor, and the ladies love to laugh, hammer them with confusion. Confusion is mans best friend right after humor. This tactic is so easy anyone can pull it off. You just have to remember one, or both of the lines I am about to give you. People pay me $100's for the advise I have already given away for free. Consider this my gift to you readers.

1- You look exactly like _______ (insert name), but different

This one you have to do a little acting. Just look quizzically at the person like you know them from somewhere, but just not sure. Now they are looking at you and trying to remember if they ever saw you before..

2- Excuse me.. Didn't we go to different schools together?

A mans stupidity will boggle their minds...

 

[Mental Granny]

I've heard the second one before an it is funny like you said though has to be delivered the right way an at the right time
I don't think I'd want someone around alot if they didn't have a sense of humor an can be witty at least some of the time, life can be hard enough an if you can't laugh well ..... I love to laugh and make others laugh !

 

[ivan salis]

if you can make a woman laugh -- you can spend time with her , if you spend time with her , you will grow on her --sorta like a fungus

 

[spartacus53]

if you can make a woman laugh -- you can spend time with her , if you spend time with her , you will grow on her --sorta like a fungus

Again we have a similar view, but I have a different word Cancer... I spread my charm pretty quickly

 

[ivan salis]

frankly I'm more like a really bad foot fungus --- very hard to fully get rid of , their always subject to reinfection even years after thinking they got rid of it -- and it can cause a itch they just gotta "scratch" no matter what or they will go nuts.

with you " cancer" type guys --- they really will try hard to get rid of you totally--- to the point of it being dangerous at times.

 

[Mental Granny]

LOL! It is a good thing I just set my plate an drink down!

 

[ivan salis]

see told ya -- I can make em laugh. -- do not even have to be there in person --I'm that good.

 

[spartacus53]

see told ya -- I can make em laugh. -- do not even have to be there in person --I'm that good.

Nah, she was just reading the "boob" story for the 4th time, now that's entertainment

 

[Mental Granny]

You guys are funny ooops I shouldnt say that .....