I NEED a drink!

[BC1969]

That drink existed in your old life BC..that is now history.

When you feel that urge, ya gotta tell yourself: "I Don't do
that any more..that is all in history."

You got a new life now, and these feelings you're having will
get smaller and smaller every day. One day at a time, one hour,
or even minute at a time if that's what needs to be.

Bro, perhaps much the same as you, I have very few good memories
from the past 50 years, and don't remember much from the 10 years
before that.

When I was getting sober, I had the same issues trying to sleep. Bad
dreams out of the past.

So, I made up some new memories...

I envisioned myself as a young man again, and that I had decided
to live alone and off-grid, deep in the wilds of Alaska. If ya think about
it, there's a hellofa lot involved with that kind of lifestyle. Picking a spot
to build a cabin..then figuring out how I wanted to build it. Square log,
round..or scribed?

A million other considerations, too. Animals, firewood, survival, etc.

And yeah...it was a new life so my cabin was alcohol and death-powder free.

Anytime my mind started to wander I'd bring it back to the task at hand.

No, it's not real and never will be, but building the "BelongaMike" cabin
sure got me through some rough times.

..

Right now you're a free man...stay that way..it's worth the fight.

It is comforting to know that someone else truly understands the pull towards the sauce.
Thanks for the thoughts.
Thank you for sharing your pain.

The cabin in the woods thing isn't all that it is made out to be.
I did that for a bit in my younger years.
Cold as cold can be.
Everyone is armed and @$$holish heh and a hungry bear isn't the beer that you want.

Trying to make new memories isn't so easy now that my wife is sick.

I'm happy that you have stayed sober.
This is better than an AA meeting any day.

Mike

 

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[BC1969]

Chris... Thank you!
That seven minute meditation is helping me to stop living in my emotions.

Mike.

 

[worldtalker]

Chris... Thank you!
That seven minute meditation is helping me to stop living in my emotions.

Mike.

Just be consciously AWARE of your thoughts..they are NOT REAL only thoughts..stand back and observe,a magical thing happens..POOF their gone.

 

[worldtalker]

Chris... Thank you!
That seven minute meditation is helping me to stop living in my emotions.

Mike.

Emotions are a SURE killer..mix them with thoughts and it becomes an endless loop of pain/pleasure. Just watch and observe the craziness,who was it that said "Be in the world but not of it"?

 

[BC1969]

I'm kinda nuts today. A drink would be just dandy! Ugh!!

 

[worldtalker]

I'm kinda nuts today. A drink would be just dandy! Ugh!!

The Pleasure brings you Pain does it not?

 

[BC1969]

The Pleasure brings you Pain does it not?

Yep.
That's why I stopped.
Life is complicated enough already, we don't need no stinkin' sauce!

 

[WannaDig3687]

 

[worldtalker]

Yep.
That's why I stopped.
Life is complicated enough already, we don't need no stinkin' sauce!

Life is as SIMPLE as falling off a log Mike,you SEE that wrong in you don't you?

 

[BC1969]

Yeah I do actually.
Tell me,.. how do I stop blaming myself for events that started at age 4 and lasted until I was 14 ?

I literally walked away from years of therapy after my therapist told me that I'll always have the memories and that I need to learn a better reaction to them...
Life's too short for any of this nonsense.
Get drunk and it and the day fades away.

I don't want to spend my life stuck in a destructive loop of memories!

Mike

 

[BC1969]

Which is more difficult ?
Staying sober and dealing with all of life's stressors with just your faith or giving into that self-destructive behavior and be a high functioning alcoholic.
I know plenty of guys and gals who have to have that shot by 1130 in order to continue functioning throughout the day.

I used to be that guy, but I chose my faith instead.

BC

 

[worldtalker]

Yeah I do actually.
Tell me,.. how do I stop blaming myself for events that started at age 4 and lasted until I was 14 ?

I literally walked away from years of therapy after my therapist told me that I'll always have the memories and that I need to learn a better reaction to them...
Life's too short for any of this nonsense.
Get drunk and it and the day fades away.

I don't want to spend my life stuck in a destructive loop of memories!

Mike

Why are you blaming yourself you did nothing wrong..you were born into a sinful world and IT got into you and IT will let you struggle to death and IT will be the CAUSE of your death by trying to save yourself...LET GO LET GOD SAVE YOU.

 

[BC1969]

I don't know how.

 

[worldtalker]

I don't know how.

Just OBSERVE that WRONG in you,by the way you were NOT born with that WRONG it entered you when you began to DOUBT that INTUITION you were born with.

Mike how do you know what I say to you is true if you didn't already know it.

 

[BC1969]

Mike how do you know what I say to you is true if you didn't already know it.

Dunno.. I just know it. I can feel it.

 

[BC1969]

I'd love to be able to sleep..
Not going to happen.

 

[worldtalker]

Dunno.. I just know it. I can feel it.

You KNOW but you don't know how you know you sense it,THAT is what you came to doubt.

 

[BC1969]

What I do know is that I'm walking a edge cliff over a bottomless abyss... blindfolded!
In my stress of what do I do next.
I'm tired of this destructive pattern that I have been stuck in most of my life.

UGH!!

 

[BC1969]

There is no escape.
This is all I am.
Empty words on a screen.

I'm tired.

 

[BC1969]

A police buddy sent me a pic of what happens when you drink and drive.
A young 22 year old Man lost his life...why ?
Why didn't he listen to the voice of reason ?
I really feel it for his Father.

Yep.. that's a rough way to go.
The only comforting part of the relayed story is that he was unconscious as they tried to save him.

BC