I think my friend has become lets say dedicated to metal detecting (advice pls)

[metal mania]

I have this friend and its like this i introduced him to detecting he kinda likes it a little too much wandering around the beach all day even sleeping there at times. He's become a beach bum in a literal sense.

I pick him up and drop him off but over the last few weeks have to drive with the window open due to his unpleasant body Oder and bad wind( He eats mainly out of the trash cans.

His financial status arose because he felt he had to have a top notch machine to find the gold.

In doing so he neglected to pay his bills (heck even his wife left taking the kids and the dog) he didn't seem to notice or mind mumbling something about "striking it rich".

my problem is this how do I tell him in a nice diplomatic non aggressive neutral way that he stinks without hurting his feelings.

 

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[Tom_in_CA]

This is a joke, right? Sounds more like a question for an Ann Landers or miss manners column

 

[metal mania]

Re: I think my friend has become lets say dedicated to metal detecting (advice p

This is a joke, right? Sounds more like a question for an Ann Landers or miss manners column

thanks tom but what was your advice wonder if Ricky has a slot free heck Oprah might even be interested

 

[Kentucky Kache]

Advice from two other stinkers.

 

[metal mania]

Re: I think my friend has become lets say dedicated to metal detecting (advice p

I have this friend and its like this i introduced him to detecting he kinda likes it a little too much wandering around the beach all day even sleeping there at times. He's become a beach bum in a literal sense.

I pick him up and drop him off but over the last few weeks have to drive with the window open due to his unpleasant body Oder and bad wind( He eats mainly out of the trash cans.

His financial status arose because he felt he had to have a top notch machine to find the gold.

In doing so he neglected to pay his bills (heck even his wife left taking the kids and the dog) he didn't seem to notice or mind mumbling something about "striking it rich".

my problem is this how do I tell him in a nice diplomatic non aggressive neutral way that he stinks without hurting his feelings.

Is this about Bob? Is this about your buddy, Bob? We've read several posts about your friend, Bob.

So...is this about Bob?

It May be Bob come on guys what would u say to him.

 

[nova treasure]

Unfortunately, it sounds like he has given up the Treasure and now left with empty holes.

I hope his priorities get back on track and he will show you the respect that you are trying to give him.

Nova Treasure

 

[RGINN]

I would very delicately and diplomatically say 'You stink. For god's sake, take a bath.' The direct approach is always best, and you'll find out if you really are friends.

 

[lafatlife]

Re: I think my friend has become lets say dedicated to metal detecting (advice p

You also might want to point out that he might have an addiction. His life is actually suffering because he thinks he is going to "strike it rich". Point out to him that the likely hood of that happening is slim to none and that he needs to work to make his fortune. If he has no where to stay, drop him off at a homeless shelter and offer to hold on to his detector for him.

 

[dneyedli@res1.mts.net]

Sounds like the Gold rush days when crazed lunatics would leave everything to find that shiny stuff and often ended up dead! Tell him that there is a lifetime of treasure to be found that isn't going anywhere and he doesn't have to lose everything like his wife and home to find it. Metal detecting is a big part my job, but I still have a wife and house to come home to. I also shower too! Some things are more important than treasure hunting. He is using this hobby as an escape from reality very similar to drugs or alcohol. Is there a treasure hunting addiction hotline that he could call?
The best thing to do is to get him to open up about his life and see what's wrong with him.
Good luck!
Dave.

 

[Curtis]

Wow, I thought I had it bad! haha I am blessed though, my wife encourages me to go, likes the fact that now I read history and research it, get some exercise, and am enthusiastic about my hobby. I do however take a shower regularly, and spend as much time with her as she needs, and do go to work, even visit the kids and grandkids sometimes.

Your friend just needs to recognize that everyone needs a balance in their lives. There needs to be time for family friends, work, and then hobbies. Too many of us set a lofty goal (get rich) and cannot focus on anything else. I liken it to the gambling addiction. Often it’s a chemical imbalance that contributes to the “all or nothing” mode some people get in. Your friend may need some psychiatric help and a possible prescription for meds that would allow him to regain his life. How you get him to someone to examine him is the problem. Maybe someone at a local shelter would know the process. I am not a doctor and am not remote control diagnosing him. It’s just common sense here.

He is blessed to have a friend like you that risks public criticism to find a solution for him; he is in a helpless state and doesn’t know it. There are many people here on this forum that will pray for him. There is probably one here that has struck it rich treasure hunting and wants to do some good with some of the money and could get guidance from the Lord to finance this man’s treatment and recovery.

 

[cdltpx]

Your friend seems to be OCD Obsessive compulsive disorder. Go ogle it and you will see the symptoms there is help for him. Some of the hoarders in life suffer from OCD these people need help to stop the behavior that takes over their lives. Try to talk with his wife she might be able to help. I would tell him it is good to be passionate about something but his interest is not normal and that he is really in need of some help.

 

[Iron Patch]

Re: I think my friend has become lets say dedicated to metal detecting (advice p

Your friend seems to be OCD Obsessive compulsive disorder. Go ogle it and you will see the symptoms there is help for him. Some of the hoarders in life suffer from OCD these people need help to stop the behavior that takes over their lives. Try to talk with his wife she might be able to help. I would tell him it is good to be passionate about something but his interest is not normal and that he is really in need of some help.

If this is for real you definitely hit it on the head. Don't know if it's OCD, but it sure isn't simply an addiction to metal detecting! Tell him you know a very good doctor who might have a kicka$$ detector for sale!

 

[ivan salis]

reminds me of the simpsons when homer says -to the guy aww just one beer --just coming in for one -- and it turns the guy into a total lush for life.

folks with obsessive complusive disorder -- OCD -- often get loop locked into "focusing" on one thing -- getting rich --hitting the big score by metal detecting in this case -- it can be a seriously bad medical condition -- greed and the desire for lots of money can drive folks mad

 

[Iron Patch]

Re: I think my friend has become lets say dedicated to metal detecting (advice p

reminds me of the simpsons when homer says -to the guy aww just one beer --just coming in for one -- and it turns the guy into a total lush for life.

folks with obsessive complusive disorder -- OCD -- often get loop locked into "focusing" on one thing -- getting rich --hitting the big score by metal detecting in this case -- it can be a seriously bad medical condition -- greed and the desire for lots of money can drive folks mad

Did you say money?

 

[hogge]

"What about Bob?"