Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

[DeepseekerADS]

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember...

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol or whatever you use ready in case you actually complete the act...

8. Make all the noise you want... The neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news ... even if its 8PM... !!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action’ means you don't need to take a laxative today.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
‘getting lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot...

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.

 

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[Rebel - KGC]

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin. 5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember... 6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed. 7. Have Tylenol or whatever you use ready in case you actually complete the act... 8. Make all the noise you want... The neighbors are deaf, too. 9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news ... even if its 8PM... !! 10. Don't even think about trying it twice. 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can't do both!' 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot. 'OLD' IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. 'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting a little action’ means you don't need to take a laxative today. 'OLD' IS WHEN.... ‘getting lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot... 'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom. 'OLD' IS WHEN.... You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.

Are YOU there, yet...? Looking forward to ALL of this...?

 

[GunFarce]

Old is when 'shooting up' involves the enema bag.

 

[topdogintampa]

Old is trying to remember what a enema bag is....he he

 

[austin]

Well, I don't think this is so funny. I'll be 66 in a month and already have run into most of these. Waiting patiently for the rest...

 

[topdogintampa]

Well, I don't think this is so funny. I'll be 66 in a month and already have run into most of these. Waiting patiently for the rest...

I'm 48 and your playing catch up so chill the wheels pops...damn, I love my alligator shoes when I hit the red carpet...

 

[Rebel - KGC]

I'm 48 and your playing catch up so chill the wheels pops...damn, I love my alligator shoes when I hit the red carpet...

48...? Won't be LONG! Your AARP card is "waiting" as you can get it at 50... WONDERFUL "Senior Discounts"!

 

[texasred777]

At 71+ (72 in August), I've seen a bit of this. lol Yes, AARP, senior discounts, Medicare, and doctor appointments are just a part of it. As far as memory, yes, I believe the biggest and most regretful loss is my mind. Austin, don't let it worry you! Life is still very enjoyable! Except for doctor appointments, I've got no real schedule to keep!

 

[Rebel - KGC]

Old is trying to remember what a enema bag is....he he

Enema...? As in COFFEE Enema...? LAWD GAWD A'MIGHTY! Cow Boy Coffee for THAT...? Camp Fire Coffee for THAT...?
Regular or DeCaf...? GEEZE! WHAT IF... it was STARBUCKS!

 

[austin]

Damm Rebel, I may have to start believing in the KGC. You are really clever...

 

[Rebel - KGC]

Damm Rebel, I may have to start believing in the KGC. You are really clever...

TY... Coffee or Coffee Enema...? Want fries with that...?

 

[stefen]

Thats why they have 'Senior Softball Leagues' so the old guys can scratch themselves...stimulating game....

 

[Rebel - KGC]

Thats why they have 'Senior Softball Leagues' so the old guys can scratch themselves...stimulating game....

HA! I've seen young guys, "Pro" Ball players "doing it"; just adjusting "The Cup" is all. I even did it when playing Base Ball in High School... it's a "Guy Thing", you wouldn't understand. NOT comfortable to wear... but, necessary.

 

[VERDE]

Hey ADS!! You left one out!! Put your Viagra in a bowel on the night stand by the bed so you don't forget where you put it!! He He!! GOOD LUCK and GOOD HUNTING!! VERDE!!

 

[GunFarce]

They say Viagra is like Disneyland. A two hour wait for a two minute ride.

 

[texasred777]

Several years ago, a heard a doctor describe Viagra as being like a roller coaster. A long slow ride to the top, and then a quick drop to the bottom.

 

[GunFarce]

I'm pushing 68 and I can remember buying condoms as a teenager. After I bought them, the guy behind the counter said "You want a bag with that"?
I just said naw... She's not 'that' ugly..

 

[dieselram94]

This thread is a riot!

sent from a potato with gravy!!...