riobravo
Sr. Member
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2006
- Messages
- 250
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- Location
- south texas to the east coast
- #1
Thread Owner
Here is one man's solution to the misery and boredom that accompany
the heinous act of shopping: Women take heed. This is an "actual"
letter sent to a customer who insisted on making her husband accompany
her on shopping trips.
Dear Mrs. Fenton:
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with
us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses
over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras.
MEMO
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done
while his spouse/partner is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
rest rooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
Code 3 in housewares'..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's
on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows and sheets
from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if she could help him, he began to
cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked
the clerk if he knew where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!!"
(And last, but not least!)< BR>> >
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a
while; then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
the heinous act of shopping: Women take heed. This is an "actual"
letter sent to a customer who insisted on making her husband accompany
her on shopping trips.
Dear Mrs. Fenton:
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with
us unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses
over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras.
MEMO
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done
while his spouse/partner is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
rest rooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
Code 3 in housewares'..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's
on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows and sheets
from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if she could help him, he began to
cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked
the clerk if he knew where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!!"
(And last, but not least!)< BR>> >
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a
while; then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
