Rabbi Audited by the IRS

[jeff of pa]

The IRS sends their auditor (a nasty little man) to audit a synagogue.The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes," answered the Rabbi.

"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.

"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up. When we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd try another question, in his obnoxious way...



"Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzos?

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up the crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a few boxes of matzo meal."


"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.

"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions?"
"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the IRS ."

"To the IRS ?" questioned the auditor in disbelief.


"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "directly to The IRS ...And about once a year, they send us a little .......................
like you."

you can fill in your own line here

 

[stefen]

Oy, cultural humor is the best

 

[coazon de oro]

Since I'm not Jewish, "it went over my head"

 

[stefen]

The reason you have a head is so that your hand don't slip off and hit you in the forehead....

 

[Chadeaux]

The reason you have a head is so that your hand don't slip off and hit you in the forehead....View attachment 815564

Must be ethnic humor ... can you translate for us Native Americans who don't understand?

I'd say "draw me a picture", but then since I've read some of your posts I won't. Wouldn't want to chance you getting banned.

 

[Treasure_Hunter]

Must be ethnic humor ... can you translate for us Native Americans who don't understand?

I'd say "draw me a picture", but then since I've read some of your posts I won't. Wouldn't want to chance you getting banned.

Come on Chad, you know what a circumcision is, save enough of them and they can make a di..errrrr I mean a pr....errr I mean a willy....which is the next agent to visit...

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2

 

[jeff of pa]

Come on Chad, you know what a circumcision is, save enough of them and they can make a di..errrrr I mean a pr....errr I mean a willy....which is the next agent to visit...

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2

yea I know you can "prick" your Finger,
But I'm not sure a Little one being sent out once a year won't offend someone

 

[Treasure_Hunter]

yea I know you can "prick" your Finger,
But I'm not sure a Little one being sent out once a year won't offend someone

Having been audited 3 times, I can vouch they are indeed "willies"...

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[stefen]

Maybe if you rubbed their heads they'd grow into bigger willies....

 

[austin]

Well, I was born a jew, but grew up a southern baptist(thanks to Sundays with the Boy Scouts) and I think it's the funniest Jewish joke I ever heard. As for the IRS today, I bet there are many, many, many big and little ones on duty, basically led(as this country is) by the biggest one of all.
By the way: You know why Baptists don't make love standin up? People will think we're dancin...
Being a baptist don't keep you from sinning, it just keeps you from enjoying it...

 

[stefen]

Come on Chad, you know what a circumcision is, save enough of them and they can make a di..errrrr I mean a pr....errr I mean a willy....which is the next agent to visit...

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2

Funny thing is I asked my Rebbe what happened to the foreskins after the bris (ritual circumcism).

He informed me that after a number were collected they were sewn into a small coin purse.

And in emergencies, it became a suit case simply by rubbing it.