JD-GA
Sr. Member
"Should I call a Doctor or......"
So I have done 0 hunting this year as all my time has been spent opening a new business and free time being spent doing daddy things that are being missed while working. Today however, in true southern gentlemen fashion I had one of those moments that should just be shared. Now names and locations will be left out in todays story to protect the guilty. Yeah yeah i know the saying goes "to protect the innocent" but i assure you there was nothing innocent about the events that have lead me to the retelling of this story. So sit back, hold onto you hats........actually you might actually tie them down.
So I went into my local monster mega bank branch with the 4 gorgeous young tellers and the other one. I wouldnt say it that way if it wasnt for the fact the "other ones" attitude usually matches her appearance. She is actually quite lovely for a lady her size and has a very nice smile when its not being twisted by her negative tone and lazy attitude but that is a longer story than I care to tell. So again I havent hunted this year at all and was just there making a deposit. Of course lucky me when its my turn to approach the teller, I have to walk right past the hawaiian tropics girl, the hooters girl, miss america, and the girl next door who should be in a magazine ,to a lady who likes to refer to me as "oh its him again" or my favorite and todays choice of "<sigh with deep breath> great him again". Well in usual fashion I smile politely and say, "im sorry you got me again, ill try not to be so much trouble." Now at this point I want you fellow crhers to know I have been in this bank at least 12 times this year, 7 or so with this teller and havent asked for a single half since last october in this branch yet I still get this same attitude. Now like Ive tried to impress upon you folks in the past is that I always keep my cool and be a gent but still get my point across in more subtle ways....
Now my deposit is done and she is handing back my deposit slip and I smile softly and begin to turn away allowing her a moments relief that dealing with me is over when I begin to exact my revenge. "Ya know what, I havent asked for a half dollar since last fall, would you be so kind as to check for me?" Yall know I wouldnt have asked but it was time to at least put her through some effort for the sourness she was bestowing upon me and that is when it happened. Its called Karma, or fate, or whatever you choose to call it.---She gives me that look, you know the one. It would have been more special had it not been the same look she always gives me. That, i hope you burn in hell look, for making my (100% genetics caused robust) body actually do something besides sit here all day being bitchy with my hidden little debbie snackcakes keeping me company when no one is looking. Sorry still venting ......Anyway she reluctantly, and with great hopes that i would change my mind, began to bend over to grab some halves in the small drawer beneath her desk. Now it was satisfying enough knowing she was upset with me but when what happened next ocured it was better than christmas. The first thing I thought was my god did someone just rip an entire newspaper right next to my ear? No this was to loud. Had someone let the air out of one of those giant balloons you see floating over a grand opening sign at a car lot? No there would have been movement. Of course in my head I knew what it was but every part of my southern gentlemen upbringing disallowed me to believe that what i was hearing was even possible. Ya see here in the deep south ladies dont even go to the bathroom let alone break recorded history for both length, decibel level, and just plain nastiness in the flatulence department. Of course as mentioned earlier this is no lady yet it somehow left me bewildered and rather frightened. The room grew silent, the air grew....well.....i know i didnt breath to tell ya the truth, and i could feel my gut way deep down in the place where serious laughs come from clinch up. There were tears welling up in my eyes trying not to make a peep of noise for if I did we all know there would be no way to hold back the laughter ready to erupt from within. That is when one of the pretty tellers broke the silence with a southern bell like "well i guess the cats out of the bag" to ease the tension and of course without breaking stride and chiming in i said "should I call a doctor or guiness book of world records?"
Anyway so that we keep this post on topic I would like to report that the roll of halves she gave me was in fact a skunk.....................and for the first time in crh history, even smelled like one.
So I have done 0 hunting this year as all my time has been spent opening a new business and free time being spent doing daddy things that are being missed while working. Today however, in true southern gentlemen fashion I had one of those moments that should just be shared. Now names and locations will be left out in todays story to protect the guilty. Yeah yeah i know the saying goes "to protect the innocent" but i assure you there was nothing innocent about the events that have lead me to the retelling of this story. So sit back, hold onto you hats........actually you might actually tie them down.
So I went into my local monster mega bank branch with the 4 gorgeous young tellers and the other one. I wouldnt say it that way if it wasnt for the fact the "other ones" attitude usually matches her appearance. She is actually quite lovely for a lady her size and has a very nice smile when its not being twisted by her negative tone and lazy attitude but that is a longer story than I care to tell. So again I havent hunted this year at all and was just there making a deposit. Of course lucky me when its my turn to approach the teller, I have to walk right past the hawaiian tropics girl, the hooters girl, miss america, and the girl next door who should be in a magazine ,to a lady who likes to refer to me as "oh its him again" or my favorite and todays choice of "<sigh with deep breath> great him again". Well in usual fashion I smile politely and say, "im sorry you got me again, ill try not to be so much trouble." Now at this point I want you fellow crhers to know I have been in this bank at least 12 times this year, 7 or so with this teller and havent asked for a single half since last october in this branch yet I still get this same attitude. Now like Ive tried to impress upon you folks in the past is that I always keep my cool and be a gent but still get my point across in more subtle ways....
Now my deposit is done and she is handing back my deposit slip and I smile softly and begin to turn away allowing her a moments relief that dealing with me is over when I begin to exact my revenge. "Ya know what, I havent asked for a half dollar since last fall, would you be so kind as to check for me?" Yall know I wouldnt have asked but it was time to at least put her through some effort for the sourness she was bestowing upon me and that is when it happened. Its called Karma, or fate, or whatever you choose to call it.---She gives me that look, you know the one. It would have been more special had it not been the same look she always gives me. That, i hope you burn in hell look, for making my (100% genetics caused robust) body actually do something besides sit here all day being bitchy with my hidden little debbie snackcakes keeping me company when no one is looking. Sorry still venting ......Anyway she reluctantly, and with great hopes that i would change my mind, began to bend over to grab some halves in the small drawer beneath her desk. Now it was satisfying enough knowing she was upset with me but when what happened next ocured it was better than christmas. The first thing I thought was my god did someone just rip an entire newspaper right next to my ear? No this was to loud. Had someone let the air out of one of those giant balloons you see floating over a grand opening sign at a car lot? No there would have been movement. Of course in my head I knew what it was but every part of my southern gentlemen upbringing disallowed me to believe that what i was hearing was even possible. Ya see here in the deep south ladies dont even go to the bathroom let alone break recorded history for both length, decibel level, and just plain nastiness in the flatulence department. Of course as mentioned earlier this is no lady yet it somehow left me bewildered and rather frightened. The room grew silent, the air grew....well.....i know i didnt breath to tell ya the truth, and i could feel my gut way deep down in the place where serious laughs come from clinch up. There were tears welling up in my eyes trying not to make a peep of noise for if I did we all know there would be no way to hold back the laughter ready to erupt from within. That is when one of the pretty tellers broke the silence with a southern bell like "well i guess the cats out of the bag" to ease the tension and of course without breaking stride and chiming in i said "should I call a doctor or guiness book of world records?"
Anyway so that we keep this post on topic I would like to report that the roll of halves she gave me was in fact a skunk.....................and for the first time in crh history, even smelled like one.
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That was an amazing tale JD, I really appreciate you taking the time to share it with all of us! 
