dirtlooter
Gold Member
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2014
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- 8,891
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- Location
- mid western ARK
- Detector(s) used
- XP Deus with 9"LF and 9" HF Coils and 600 Equinox with stock and 6" coils
- Primary Interest:
- Relic Hunting
- #1
Thread Owner
Several years back, several of my wife's family came to visit us here in Arkansas. Her oldest sister, Rose, was a very short woman in her mid 60s. Rose was also very well endowed upstairs for such a short person. Everyone was outside in the garden down below the house except for Rose, her husband Jim and I.
I had put something in the slow cooker and went to check on Rose and Jim to see if they needed anything. They were lying on the bed and watching everyone outside when I asked if they needed anything. Rose turned over and told me that everyone in Arkansas must have a chainsaw and cut wood constantly.
I laughed and tried to explain that the "buzzing noise" that she was hearing was actually a bug, a Cicada or 17 year locust. She argued that it had to be chainsaws and so I decided to go out and find one. I started out looking for a live one, they are usually everywhere (except when you need one) but I couldn't find a live one or a dead one. So I decided to look for one of their cast off shells from when they come out of the dirt and climb onto something to emerge into an adult and fly off to breed.
Well, couldn't find one and I was looking everywhere for one. Finally I found one and hurried back to show them. When I walked in the room, both turned over to see what I had. I began explaining the life cycle of the cicada to them. Now Rose was the closest one and I was holding the cicada shell up high above her. Rose had on one of those low cut shirts that allowed a lot of her cleavage to show.
So, being the guy that I am, I "Accidentally" dropped the shell and where did it go? Right in amongst No Man's land! They were both fixed on the shell and watched as it dropped in between her breasts. Instantly Rose screamed louder than any 15 year old could with her hands and arms shaking like crazy.
She began screaming at me to "Get it out! Get it out now!" I looked over to Jim and told him, "I ain't reaching in there, you'll have to get it out." Jim grinned and proceeded to get it out. Meanwhile, the house had filled up to see who was being murdered. Of course the shell was crushed and she had to go to the bathroom to "clean up".
So, that year for Christmas, I sent her both a dead cicada and of course another shell. Jim had to tell everyone the story. I never knew that older women could scream like that but I do now LOL.
I had put something in the slow cooker and went to check on Rose and Jim to see if they needed anything. They were lying on the bed and watching everyone outside when I asked if they needed anything. Rose turned over and told me that everyone in Arkansas must have a chainsaw and cut wood constantly.
I laughed and tried to explain that the "buzzing noise" that she was hearing was actually a bug, a Cicada or 17 year locust. She argued that it had to be chainsaws and so I decided to go out and find one. I started out looking for a live one, they are usually everywhere (except when you need one) but I couldn't find a live one or a dead one. So I decided to look for one of their cast off shells from when they come out of the dirt and climb onto something to emerge into an adult and fly off to breed.
Well, couldn't find one and I was looking everywhere for one. Finally I found one and hurried back to show them. When I walked in the room, both turned over to see what I had. I began explaining the life cycle of the cicada to them. Now Rose was the closest one and I was holding the cicada shell up high above her. Rose had on one of those low cut shirts that allowed a lot of her cleavage to show.
So, being the guy that I am, I "Accidentally" dropped the shell and where did it go? Right in amongst No Man's land! They were both fixed on the shell and watched as it dropped in between her breasts. Instantly Rose screamed louder than any 15 year old could with her hands and arms shaking like crazy.
She began screaming at me to "Get it out! Get it out now!" I looked over to Jim and told him, "I ain't reaching in there, you'll have to get it out." Jim grinned and proceeded to get it out. Meanwhile, the house had filled up to see who was being murdered. Of course the shell was crushed and she had to go to the bathroom to "clean up".
So, that year for Christmas, I sent her both a dead cicada and of course another shell. Jim had to tell everyone the story. I never knew that older women could scream like that but I do now LOL.
