Tips for Handling Telemarketers

[fmerg]

if they call me and i have nothing to do
i keep them on the phone asking all sorts of questions
for example one day i got the following call (or as close as i remember)

tel: may i speak to the person who is in charge of postage
me: that would be me how can i help you

tel: my company is offering a discounted postage service to mid size business
me: great i am looking to start bulk mailings what are your prices and volume rates

tel: we have 5 diffrent plans our basic plan is for advertisements inserts of up to 8000 addresses
etc etc

well to make a long story short after about 20 Min's with this sales rep i told the woman this is one of the best deals i have heard all week
can i get the name of the company again.....when she replied i asked her to hold for a second paused
then said i am really sorry but i just got a government contract and her company is on the home land securitie's watch list and i really can't do business with them

 

[greydigger]

I have an answering machine that does most of it.

If I am bored I talk for awhile about having a sex change or something.

See if they have considered it.

They always hang up. So far...

Grey

 

[stefen]

My trick was to remove the land-line phone service...Problem solved.

I use the cell only and seldom answer unless I know the caller...

 

[Timberwolf]

I like Jerry Seinfeld's method of dealing with telemarketers.

"Hello? Yes, this is Jerry Seinfeld."
talking on other end of line
"No, I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk now, but if you'll give me your home number I can call you back later."
talking on other end of line
"You don't like to give out your home number? Now you know how I feel!"
hangs up

Yep, that's my favorite!
Actually, I just say "no thanks" and hang up.

TW

 

[stefen]

Both work well. So does blowing a whistle into the phone and yelling FOUL.

Why waste your time yelling foul...because they can't hear you yelling with a ringing eardrum

 

[ClonedSIM]

I like Jerry Seinfeld's method of dealing with telemarketers.

"Hello? Yes, this is Jerry Seinfeld."
talking on other end of line
"No, I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk now, but if you'll give me your home number I can call you back later."
talking on other end of line
"You don't like to give out your home number? Now you know how I feel!"
hangs up

Yep, that's my favorite!
Actually, I just say "no thanks" and hang up.

TW

Keep it simple.

 

[Seamuss]

I just tell them if my EX wants me to donate money to someone, then she would have already done it for me. From my account to hers.

 

[Produce Guy]

When my kids your little I would give the phone to them and tell 'em it was Santa and to tell him what they wanted,I now give the phone to my son and he makes this sound that comes out of his mouth that sounds like a dinosaur,which then the usually hang up.

 

[Tank69]

GunFarce that was a riot

 

[Tnmountains]

Gunfarce he is hilarious. He called a carpet cleaning company one time . Wanted to know if they could remove blood from carpets. He said lots of blood it was everywhere. The carpet cleaning people were freaking out. What a nut. Thanks for the laugh, He does some funny stuff.