To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

[jeff of pa]

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Marijuana'.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To

Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

 

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[spartacus53]

Jeff, love this list and I've already done a few of these. Anyway, here are a few bonus ones for you. I still do them often enough and it is fun. #15 will go great with the diet water too

15- When asked at a diner how you want your hamburger, just say cook it one one side, then in about five minutes turn it over and cook it on the other side.

16- When getting on a crowded elevator, wait for the door to close and announce in a loud and clear voice "I have new socks". People don't know where to look

17- When being introduced to someone I have given a 2 handed handshake, firmly holding my grip on the persons hand and arm and announce that "I am not wearing any underwear".

 

[jeff of pa]

Good ones spartacus53 !

on #17 I'd just have to say :

" I'm Happy for Ya ? "

 

[Old Dog]

When I order coffee I usually tell the server ... Regular Coffee please Decaff makes me nervous.

or
first thing in the morning when you order coffee look at the waitress and say
"Coffee ! Big jug! IV needle!" That opens their eyes.