This is part of a paper i wrote few years ago while taking a communications class.
It could use a little revision but i will keep it as i wrote it.
The title was "The perfect Relationship"
It was mid to late August of 2002 when I sat down at my computer to check the thousands of emails that were flooding in every day. They were all from women who wanted and needed a man such as myself. I could not respond to them all, mainly because of time restrictions and cash flow problems. Some of these women required as much as $3.99 a minute. Helping them get through college was always a priority for me, but even a world famous philanthropist, such as myself, has to draw the line somewhere.
As I was scrolling down my list of needy women, I happened upon an email that set itself apart from the rest. Instead of pleading for me to come visit her at her web site, like 99% of the other emails I had received, she just let me know that she lived in my area and would like to communicate with me. Well, who am I to say no to a free phone call.
After calling her on the phone, I found her to be quite interesting. I talked about myself night after night, hour after hour, for two weeks straight. These conversations were some of the best I have ever had with a woman. Finally, after one week, I got up the nerve to ask her name. I was over whelmed with her response; “Joanne” she said. This was the first word I heard her say. Our relationship had reached another plateau.
After I memorized her name, I knew the time for us to meet was at hand. I quickly told her I was hungry and invited myself to her house to sample some of her cooking. She readily provided detailed directions to her home and confirmed a time to meet. Our first date was set. I wanted to make a positive impression, so I took a lot of time to pick out an appropriate gift; a brand new oven mitt shaped like a fish and an orange cooking apron straight from home depot. I had contemplated a new high tech mop (one of those with a bottle of cleaner attached to the handle). But dinner was on the agenda and I figured I could get her the mop in a week or two, as a birthday gift or something.
Knowing what pleases a woman has always been one of my better traits and this sets me apart from the average man. I was certain I had chosen the right gift, and as a final surprise, I decided to bring my two sons along as well.I promptly arrived 45 minutes late.
Love was in the air as my children and I stepped up to her door. As I knocked, my heart fluttered. The door opened and Joanne appeared before me for the first time. She was as beautiful as I had imagined. As she spoke, I savored her words: “YOU’RE LATE!!” she said. “And who the hell are these kids? Get in here, you’re letting the flies in”, she demanded. I was in heaven, we were communicating as if we had known each other all our lives. Not only did she quickly invite me into her home, but she showed an immediate affection for my children.
It’s not often that a man and woman can communicate like this, but it’s something I think everyone should strive for. She loved my gift as well; when I presented it to her, she shouted unspeakable things and stated she would not be caught dead using such items. This definitely meant that she is a very sentimental person and wanted to keep these gifts for years to come. We have been together for a year and a half now and I am the light of her life.
