Zombies and Gun control

[smokeythecat]

Back to the zombies. If they come to my house I'm going to dispatch them and then use them as cat food

 

[jerseyben]

Back to the zombies. If they come to my house I'm going to dispatch them and then use them as cat food

What kind of cats do you have?

 

[Rebel - KGC]

Stockpicker: I have spent half the day pondering this post. I have come to two possible answers. Let me lay the groundwork:
1. We know of only one female smurf who smurfs the smurfs.
2. We know that the village of smurfs is composed of hundred smurfs.
3. We only know of a handful of child/baby smurfs in the smurf village.

4: Let us first examine point number three. With so many children in the smurf village we can conclude that smurfs have extremely long lives and reproduce rarely; or, smurfs mature from baby to adult extremely rapidly, which is why there are so few.
- based on the fact that we have only known of smurf existence for the last few decades I find both these theories unlikely.

5: Let us now examine point number two. With hundreds of smurfs in existence we can propose that that the amount of time smurfs spend in utero is a matter of days; and hence, smurffette can smurf them out very, very quickly.
- I find this unlikely as well, we never see smurffette being pregnant.

This information is what I am basing these next theories on.

Theory One: We are incorrect about the reproductive patterns of smurfs. They do not propagate by meiosis. In reality, they reproduce by budding and fusing.
-Smurfs are a unisexual species and smurffette is really a red herring. In actuality, smurffette is a cross dressing hermaphrodite.(Rebel, I am going to need you to explain how that is possible. I myself am still confused.)

Theory Two: Males smurfs are the ones who carry smurfs in utero to term.
-This means that Smurffette is actually the biggest pimp of all time and impregnates her harem of male smurfs.

I welcome intelligent disagreements to these theories only. Please do not waste my time with nonsense.

ONLY Papa Smurf KNOWS...

 

[Crispin]

Back to the zombies. If they come to my house I'm going to dispatch them and then use them as cat food

How are you going to dispatch them? I don't think bullets will do the trick. May I recommend a flame thrower?

 

[Dave44]

But all of the relevant videos on this subject show that one between the eyes is the only way short of complete cremation! I am so confused now!

I must do more research! Pronto!

 

[hvacker]

You bring up a good point about the reactivity of N2 in the atmosphere. That extra covalent bond has a tendancy to be a stickler. I realize the Kreb's Cycle would have to be radically altered. I can't fathom a mechanism that would break N2 down into 2N and still leave a positive on the energy return side. For this reason I didn't propose that smurfs breath helium, neon, argon, krypton, xenon, or radon. That would just be downright impossible.

I guess it is possible that smurfs breath CO2 but I'm not aware of any process other then photosynthesis that would allow that process to produce a positive energy. Also, with smurfs being blue, that would probably eliminate most waves of light that would make the process worthwhile. We could propose that smurfs don't breath at all, but that would make this entire thread appear to be quite ludarcis. No, that is completely out of the question.

Hah! I got it. Perhaps smurfs breath hydrogen. I was mistaken about their blue skin color being from melanin. I now believe that the blue color is due to interstitial fluids composed predominately of water that is necessary to keep the delicate acid-base balance from having build up of hydrogen in their bodies; and hence, leading to an anion gap that would cause a lethal metabolic acidosis. What a truely remarkable conclusion we have arrived at. Anybody see any fault in my logic?

Crispin

Only that hydrogen doesn't exist in our atmosphere, like helium, it's too light. They rise and keep going. I wish I could remember the process of the Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs. All I remember is they also use oxygen but process it differently. Maybe I should learn The Google, Que' No!?

 

[Crispin]

Only that hydrogen doesn't exist in our atmosphere, like helium, it's too light. They rise and keep going. I wish I could remember the process of the Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs. All I remember is they also use oxygen but process it differently. Maybe I should learn The Google, Que' No!?

Stop raining on my parade! I guess that would make sense about the hydrogen thing. Otherwise, everytime somebody lit a match an explosion would probably follow. How did they get all that hydrogen into the Hindenberg?

Well, that pretty much eliminates smurfs breathing a single elemental gas, unless we have left one out somewhere. Any other gases present in sufficient quantities in our atmosphere or have we hit a dead end?

Crispin

Ps. Enlighten us on this blue crab thing. I am too lazy to google it for myself.