AN OFF-THE-WALL SHIPPING NOTIFICATION

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stefen

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Recently I placed an order for exotic Canary Wood from a specialty supplier located in the State of Nevada who happened to have 6/4 material that wasn't available locally.

Several days later I received an email with this attachment...it's absolutely hilarious. So I thought I'd share:

Funny story, too, STEFEN.

Every one of our 6,207 hard working (and quite good looking) employees who put your order together are absolutely wiped out.

I really think you'd have enjoyed watching the action erupt when your order came through.

When I handed it to Jake, our master packager, he looked at the order, smiled, pulled out a pair of his favorite Italian leather gloves and slid them onto his hands. "Nothing but the best," he said. And off he went! As he selected your order, he placed it all on a satin-lined chariot to transport it to the packaging center.

And there's more . . .All other 6,206 crew members stopped. Every last one of them. They gathered around, lit incense and candles, and watched with hushed awe as he wrapped the entire order in the finest gold-laced cardboard and stretch wrap that money can buy. You could have heard a pin drop.

In the end, the guys were so thrilled that they wanted to throw a party just for your order.

We're talking about a big fiesta with live music, a roasted pig, and a dessert spread of homemade chocolate ganache, Ukrainian prune tortes, and cinnamon madeleines.

You should have seen the look on the UPS driver's face when he showed up. He thought he was going to pick up the packages as usual, but instead we picked *him* up and sent him crowd surfing through the warehouse while the band played. You can imagine what happened next, right?

Our neighbors came outside to see what the fuss was all about, and when they saw your beautiful order they joined in, and toasted ol' Jake who then delivered a rather moving speech on the joys of working with wood as a means to self improvement.

Someone must have called the local TV stations because the next thing I knew I had six interviews to handle for reporters who asked, "What does STEFEN intend to make?" But don't worry, your secret's safe. I told them, "World peace." Man! If only woodworking could do that!

Anyway, the guys hope to see pictures of what you make so we can have another party (I know what you're thinking). I hope you had a great time shopping at Woodworkers Source (and reading this ridiculously long hyperbole of a shipping notification).

We enjoyed every minute of it, and we've named you "Customer of the Year." That gets you a pretty good parking spot right out front if you ever come see us. So come see us some time.

Two important things before we go clean up the mess out back:

  1. We want you to be happy with your order. Please let us know if you're not.
  2. And we love to see pictures of what you make.
  3. Did you know we have an online gallery where you can share pictures of a project you've made? It's right here:

Robert, and the other 6,206 good looking fellas
 at Woodworkers Source.
 

That is hirlarious!

Sounds like they really like their customers...and he has a lot of spare time on his hands!
The other 6,205 workers are probably busting hump getting the orders prepped and out.

Deffinately a different seldom seen side of customer service!
 

Recently I placed an order for exotic Canary Wood from a specialty supplier located in the State of Nevada who happened to have 6/4 material that wasn't available locally.

Several days later I received an email with this attachment...it's absolutely hilarious. So I thought I'd share:

Funny story, too, STEFEN.

Every one of our 6,207 hard working (and quite good looking) employees who put your order together are absolutely wiped out.

I really think you'd have enjoyed watching the action erupt when your order came through.

...snip...


Robert, and the other 6,206 good looking fellas
 at Woodworkers Source.


Wow! That looks like a bucket list quality shipping notice to me. I hope your project turns out as well as the shipping notice. :thumbsup:
 

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good gosh man how much did you order.
 

I think I would have to think long and hard before sending them pictures of the project. It would definitely be worthy of his funny notice!
 

I opened the email and actually laughted my azz off...

This was an attachment to a totally professional receipt statement...

Its totally a tongue-in-cheek senario of a thriving 3-store business located in Phoenix Arizona...

Probably 15 or so employees...but a clever marketing tool for a business that's ahead of the game...

Oh, and the order was for about $65.00 +

Maybe I'll post my response...

By and by, the project is a lathe turned Contemporary / Modern Art chess set of my design...
 

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My reply...

Robert,

Your transmittal letter describing my purchase being processed through the Packaging Center was very thorough and descriptive, to say the least.

Having shared this letter with my immediate family, neighbors, local acquaintances and tourists walking the streets of our Victorian Village of Ferndale California, I am gratified to know that I am in the 'Good Hands' of your enthusiastic and well trained staff personnel.

Being named as the "Customer of the Year" is another accomplishment that I will surely frame and mount on my EGO WALL.

When I opened the email and read its contents, I was unable to sleep through the night.

In fact I contacted my medical advisors because of the palpitations and erratically racing heart beats. WOW…What a thrill if there ever was one.

Don't know how I can repay you for this honor.

Opening the package, an odor emanated that was familiar to those of us that lived through the 1960's and 1970's social-transition era.

Then I recalled the statement that all of the 6206 members gathered around and lit incense and candles, and watched with hushed awe as Jake, the Master Packager placed my order with leather-gloved hands into a satin-lined chariot for transport to the Packaging Center.

Then it hit me…Humboldt Gold.

This next bit is meant for Jakes eyes-only:

Jake, my boy, your job is extremely important and being a key member of the 'Customer Satisfaction Shipping Center Team', its your duty of be extremely careful of the shipping protection materials.

When I began to remove the bubble-wrap and shipping peanuts, I found the remains of a partially eaten MacDonald's Quarter Pounder with extra Mayo scrunched up in its wrapper.

Additionally, the cap of your soft drink cup leaked and the sticky contents spilled forth.

Normally, I wouldn't say anything but the Reading R/R Game Piece for the Million Dollar Monopoly Game attached to the cup.

Please rest assured that there are only four (4) such game pieces are issued per annual game.

That particular game piece was what I needed to complete my game board for the Grand Prize.

There is a lesson-learned here, but don't worry, I have enclosed a check so that you can buy another Quarter Pounder with extra Mayo, fries and a coke.

By the way, should you desire to file a complaint, I will be forced to notify Robert of the fact that five (5) of the bubbles were purposely popped.

And Robert, back to you.

I am making a contemporary Chess Set of my design and will provide pictures for the Gallery.

Having read you're ridiculously long hyperbole of a Shipping Notification, I thought I'd respond in a like manner, tongue-in-cheek, of course.

It's been a hoot, y'all.
 

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So, you ordered this wood from Colorado?
 

LOL, OP got wood :laughing7:
 

Sorry. just sounded like it might have been written somewhere where pot was legal.
It was written in Humboldt California where pot is semi-legal...In addition, it's the largest monetary agricultural crop in the Northwestern part of the state...Humboldt Gold is cultured and harvested in the Lands of the Giant Redwoods oh Humboldt County, California...And no it's legal to purchase as 215 medical use...Additionally, it's also grown privately in most residential properties...here most dairy farms...oops, forget I said anything...
 

Stefen, Thanks. Enjoyed it. Now, before I say what I'd expect you to say if it was someone else ... Congrats! :laughing7:
 

Very nice post. As a retired 27 yr. UPS Delivery Driver, I can picture "that look" that he gave them when he showed up.
 

It was written in Humboldt California where pot is semi-legal...In addition, it's the largest monetary agricultural crop in the Northwestern part of the state...Humboldt Gold is cultured and harvested in the Lands of the Giant Redwoods oh Humboldt County, California...And no it's legal to purchase as 215 medical use...Additionally, it's also grown privately in most residential properties...here most dairy farms...oops, forget I said anything...

:icon_thumright: Great post!
Yeh I have friends in Garberville...They have heard that^^ too!:laughing7:
 

Enlarge it to life size or larger, that should get their attention!
 

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