Dogs get to me like that too...everyone probably has a story if they have owned a dog, however, I was blindsided a few years ago very unexpectedly.
My wife has an aunt who had a 2 year old teacup poodle. We had visited them and "Chavito" could sit in the palm of one of my hands quite comfortably. We made friends quickly during our weekend visitation at their house. He was amazing with incredible energy and "ups". He jumped onto any thing he wanted it seemed and showed no fear at any time...all 2lbs of him, although he looked bigger because of the flowing wispy white hair. That was not typical of poodles so he must have had something else blended in back in his lineage.
Some few months later my wife got word that he had had a stroke. The aunt was going to have to put him down. Suzie begged her for a chance to nurse him back to health and was granted her wish. She made the 1000 mile round trip journey and picked Chavito up and brought him home. I had no idea what was about to happen as I had not realized that Chavito had taken my heart and wrapped razor wire around every ventricle and through every valve. Chavito arrived in his little bed. He could sit up with a slight lean to the side that still worked and despite the partial paralysis he was able to swallow without choking some soft food. He would even try to bark and be feisty at times. We were both sure that we could nurse him back to health and indeed, for a 2 week period, he steadily made progress. I would come home several times a day to check on him and he always tried to get up and greet me with a "YIP".
Then...I came home one evening and saw the look on Suzie's face before I saw Chavito and knew our extra time had run out...Chavito had another stroke and now all he could do was blink and whimper. Suzie could not take him so the task was up to me. I collected him with his bed and got in the car headed for the city animal control building. I was having a hard time driving. It was like I was in a blinding rainstorm. I had never cried like that in my entire life...gutteral, wrenching. I pulled over several times to wipe my face and compose myself. When I arrived at the building, I had hoped I was done as I could see inside there were 30 or 40 people. I picked him up in my hands and walked up to the building. As I entered the door, it hit me again...tears streaming like a river flash flooding in a desert...but no sound from me at all. The building was bustling as I walked in but became completely silent after I entered. I felt all eyes on me...the picture must have been something else. My 6'5", 300lb frame holding a little ball of fluff no bigger than a tennis ball in my hands cupped to carefully protect him...tears dripping and rolling down every surface of my face, drenching my shirt. A staff person walked up to meet me at the counter. I tried to talk but something came out akin to a pig grunting snort so I gave up after getting something out that sounded close to "stroke". She nodded and held out her hands...slowly, I gently placed him in her hands and turned to leave. It was like a funeral viewing, deathly quiet. I have no idea how I made it home and don't remember much of that day after that.
I later told myself that it was just no good to go through all that and that we should not get another dog. Say hello to "Lilly Bella" our 18 month old toy poodle when you see me next time. Suzie has to have dogs, its just in her blood.
I must be crazy.
![:-\](https://www.treasurenet.com/smilies/undecided.gif "Undecided :-\")
