Here is a Love Question

[lincha]

The new man is the explosion, the one that makes the world beautiful, the one who makes you feel complete. I havent been with this man or seen him since November, but we talk everyday as he lives in a different state. I am seriously at crossroads in my life right now. My husband will be back in April and I am dreading making the decisions I need to make.

 

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[lincha]

Aw you had to go and ask that question didnt you. With the new guy we met and started living together from that day forward for a month until he had to leave to work in another state. And no I had never ever done this in my life before.

 

[lincha]

Thanks Spooky, time will tell, guess I will post what I decide to do when I get it figured out.

 

[yournewneighbor]

i think you have to realize that its not just what makes you happy, too much ice cream makes you happy but it also makes you fat. What i'm saying is that you should definitely be counting the cost, the benefit. You cant just jump in head first because it seems like a decent decisions. In relationships theres nothing more beneficial than patience. As far as the husband cheating on you if you cant reconcile divorce him.

 

[BigDan]

What worries me...

...is I haven't heard the third option. Divorce the husband, and cool off the new relationship (You don't have to end it...but you could slow it down a bit.) I'm worried, do you have to be in a relationship to be happy? Also, each of these guys took off for seemingly good reasons. But the first cheated on you. You've only spent one month with the second and he had to leave for his job. What I'm trying to say is that you are very trusting, but that isn't always going to put whipped cream on your dessert.

But, whatever you do, good luck.

Big Dan

 

[ivan salis]

remember bring in a "explosion" is normally harmful -- while it might be thrilling short term -- often its fiscally and mentally and even phyiscally bad for you long term

 

[lincha]

Thanks for all the input guys. Today, I just have a headache from thinking to much, I want to cry and go crawl into bed all weekend. How come nobody tells you that growing up means making so many decisions.

 

[Woodland Detectors]

If I had to make the choice to "Settle" Well now that just doesn't make sense because, you really wouldn't be happy, would you?
I have the most amazing wife whom I adore and admire whole heartedly,
She is my world and I would do any thing for her.
I would never just settle for something if I knew there is someone out there that could make me feel like I do now.
I am a lucky man.

Thank you God!

 

[mascallw119]

That is a interesting question for thought. My thoughts on the issue is that if the relationship is comfortable, it could mean that we are putting up with each other for either convenience or to have peace. The exploding aspect can be good or bad...good in that the relationship is alive and kicking and bad in that you have to keep detonating it for something to happen.

I believe that love is a commitment more than an emotion. I say this because our emotions can be here and there and all over the place in a 24 hour period depending on how we feel or our circumstances at the time...this makes our love conditional because it is dictated by our emotions at the time. On the other hand, when we love and recognize that neither one of us are perfect and that because we are who we are (works in progress) that there will be times when we will get on each others nerves but it does not negate the love (a/k/a unconditional love). Now, this does mean that you allow yourself to be disrespected or abused. With unconditional love also comes judicial love which means being able to tell your love one what you are feeling without being demeaning or disrespectful and also being able to receive and hear criticism without feeling you have to attack. Tough call, yes it is but necessary if you want it to last through the good times and the bad. It is not easy but we have the choice.

 

[spartacus53]

Re: What worries me...

...is I haven't heard the third option. Divorce the husband, and cool off the new relationship (You don't have to end it...but you could slow it down a bit.) I'm worried, do you have to be in a relationship to be happy? Also, each of these guys took off for seemingly good reasons. But the first cheated on you. You've only spent one month with the second and he had to leave for his job. What I'm trying to say is that you are very trusting, but that isn't always going to put whipped cream on your dessert.

But, whatever you do, good luck.

Big Dan

I actually think Big Dan hit the nail on the head and said it best

You don't want to hear my third option which would have been, forget the other 2 and start dating me After all, I am compassionate, loyal, romantic; wait a minute, never mind, that is not me, but a friend of mine. I am however an idiot savant, just leave out that savant part.

I still think BD said it best, sit back and collect yourself.

 

[vibes]

...is I haven't heard the third option. Divorce the husband, and cool off the new relationship (You don't have to end it...but you could slow it down a bit.) I'm worried, do you have to be in a relationship to be happy? Also, each of these guys took off for seemingly good reasons. But the first cheated on you. You've only spent one month with the second and he had to leave for his job. What I'm trying to say is that you are very trusting, but that isn't always going to put whipped cream on your dessert.

But, whatever you do, good luck.

Big Dan

I actually think Big Dan hit the nail on the head and said it best

You don't want to hear my third option which would have been, forget the other 2 and start dating me After all, I am compassionate, loyal, romantic; wait a minute, never mind, that is not me, but a friend of mine. I am however an idiot savant, just leave out that savant part.

I still think BD said it best, sit back and collect yourself.

Good God Spartacus.....you have NO shame :P

 

[spartacus53]

[
Good God Spartacus.....you have NO shame :P

I have no idea what shame is, someone tore that page out of my dictionary Hey Vibes, I was going to give you a phone call today, but I couldn't since the #1 on my phone is broken :P

 

[lincha]

Well my situation has not been resolved. But something will be happening soon. My husband received his permanent resident card on May 23, have spoken to him only about 4 times since then. It took us 4 years and $10,000 dollars to get him here legally. He will be returning to Iowa sometime next week so we can talk. His sister called yesterday and asked me if I knew what he had been up to in Mexico, when I asked her what she meant, she said she couldnt say anything. So why did she call? I will be speaking with him to see what he wants out of life as we literally dont have much of a relationship left. Dont know maybe some kind of marriage counseling would help us out to figure where to go from here, I dont like him much now but he was a good husband at one time. With regards to the explosion guy, we talk on the phone almost everyday, but we havent seen each other since he moved. He tells me he loves me and would like to make a life with me, but he knows I am not in the right mind emotionally to decide anything right now. I seem to think that when I see my husband I will know what I am going to do. The eyes tell, if a man truly loves you, despite the problems you will see it in their eyes. We are all grownups, life turns on a dime, I am hoping that with respect and communication, something will be decided soon. Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Spartacus run, run fast in that tiny skirt of yours. I dont like hairy men.

 

[spartacus53]

Spartacus run, run fast in that tiny skirt of yours. I dont like hairy men.

Sorry, but the only hair I sport is on the top of my head Your loss, I've moved on to Vibes. Besides you had your shot. The only problem with Vibes is that we are forbidden to love, because we would make beautiful babies

 

[vibes]

Dear lincha,

Spartacus is being a turd...he wants to see a cat fight ...ppfffttt...you know men, easily amused

Besides I like a man with a little hair on his ....

 

[Mighty AP]

Dear lincha,

Spartacus is being a turd...he wants to see a cat fight ...ppfffttt...you know men, easily amused

Besides I like a man with a little hair on his ....

BUTT?? Vibes, if you like a hairy butt then Im the man for you!!! Sometimes I have it braided into cornrows...............very sexy!!!
Now then, about this catfight..........can we get started??

 

[spartacus53]

Meoowww, where is the cat fight I went out and got a giant sized bucket of popcorn for this event and my money is on Vibes

Lincha, if you want a whirlwind romance with me, you need to submit your resume, application and references for any consideration. I need to know who I am dealing with, after all I may look stupid, but I'm not dumb.

Vibes, you are right I am easily amused too. Right now I'm watching my dryer and I'm fascinated by all the colors

 

[vibes]

Meoowww, where is the cat fight I went out and got a giant sized bucket of popcorn for this event and my money is on Vibes

Lincha, if you want a whirlwind romance with me, you need to submit your resume, application and references for any consideration. I need to know who I am dealing with, after all I may look stupid, but I'm not dumb.

Vibes, you are right I am easily amused too. Right now I'm watching my dryer and I'm fascinated by all the colors

Mr. Spartacus,

I feel YOU need to submit a blood and semen sample PLUS a full glossy photo of you to Ms. Linda. Period.

There's no catfight amongst the sisterhood, silly boy play.
BUT I would LOVE to witness a pillow fight between you and the MightyAP.
My money is on the corn-row arsehole (no disrespect there AP as those are your words, no?)

 

[spartacus53]

Mr. Spartacus,

I feel YOU need to submit a blood and semen sample PLUS a full glossy photo of you to Ms. Linda. Period.

BUT I would LOVE to witness a pillow fight between you and the MightyAP.
My money is on the corn-row arsehole (no disrespect there AP as those are your words, no?)

My money is on AP too he is twice my size of my 4' 7" and I'm in heels now

Not sure about the blood test, but I can tell you, "My boys can swim".

 

[spartacus53]

I seem to think that when I see my husband I will know what I am going to do. The eyes tell, if a man truly loves you, despite the problems you will see it in their eyes. We are all grownups, life turns on a dime, I am hoping that with respect and communication, something will be decided soon. Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Spartacus run, run fast in that tiny skirt of yours. I dont like hairy men.

You are right about the eyes and other body language that a person uses as well. Right now you are being smart, there is no rush for you to decide overnight. You seem to have plenty going for you as a lady, with two men vying for your affection now. Meet with your husband first and you will get a feel for what you future may, or may not hold. You do not seem the type to settle for less than you need, so don't even think about settling, focus on what will make you HAPPY