Here is a Love Question

[Mighty AP]

Hey mighty, maybe "Vitamins"? Maybe you should change you name to Geezer? Comeon get some pep.

There you go Linda, I changed my name for you.........
Bah! Im takin some milk of magnesia & goin back to bed!

 

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[lincha]

Oh comeon mighty comeback, was just kidding about the geezer part. Im sorry, but thanks for the laugh.

 

[Mighty AP]

Oh comeon mighty comeback, was just kidding about the geezer part. Im sorry, but thanks for the laugh.

Whats that? Speak up........the battery in my hearing aid is kaput once again. Damn hearing aid...........WHY CANT THEY MAKE THESE DAMN THINGS WORK RIGHT??

 

[lincha]

Hey mighty, it wasnt the hearing aid you put the battery in. Senility. Get the battery out of there!

 

[spartacus53]

Spart, Spart, Spart, you have to learn to sell yourself better. (Short Shelf Life) uggg. Makes me think of taking a drinking of old milk? I have got to say though, I like your picture.

Better get in line, women are beating down my door now

 

[spartacus53]

Oh, I forgot to mention, they are beating down my door to get out

 

[lincha]

Hey Spart get in line me? Nope. You bury your woman remember.

 

[spartacus53]

Hey Spart get in line me? Nope. You bury your woman remember.

I bury only the ones that don't listen

 

[Mighty AP]

Hey mighty, it wasnt the hearing aid you put the battery in. Senility. Get the battery out of there!

Crap. I looked in my hearing aid & found a lil' blue pill which means I swallowed the battery. Those things are expensive & Im a very cheap man.............you know the saying, "This too shall pass" & I'll be waiting with a pair of rubber gloves. I'll let you know "how it comes out".

 

[lincha]

Men, Men, Men. What the heck is up with men. Installment to my as the world turns life. So my sort of husband got back to Iowa Monday. We finally talked Tuesday because I made him. Asked him what was going on in Mexico, he tells me it isnt any of my business because we lived separately for over two years. Says my business is my business and yours is yours. Said he would understand if I got involved with someone but he doesnt want to know about it. So how are we supposed to fix this if he will not talk about it. But thats not the difficult part. The cherry on top is that he now informs me he doesnt want to be intimate with me for awhile, until we "quote" have feelings for each other again. I literally dont understand men. Bashing my head up against the wall. How do men think? How can you be married and not intimate, dang it I have needs.

 

[vibes]

Men, Men, Men. What the heck is up with men. Installment to my as the world turns life. So my sort of husband got back to Iowa Monday. We finally talked Tuesday because I made him. Asked him what was going on in Mexico, he tells me it isnt any of my business because we lived separately for over two years. Says my business is my business and yours is yours. Said he would understand if I got involved with someone but he doesnt want to know about it. So how are we supposed to fix this if he will not talk about it. But thats not the difficult part. The cherry on top is that he now informs me he doesnt want to be intimate with me for awhile, until we "quote" have feelings for each other again. I literally dont understand men. Bashing my head up against the wall. How do men think? How can you be married and not intimate, dang it I have needs.

lincha,

Why do you allow this man to treat you this way? I'm asking that question with an open heart and kind soul....so not judging. Please help me understand why you would waste your pretty on this man.

 

[Mighty AP]

Yep Lincha, us guys are very complex, like a twisted, dark puzzle....................an enigma! OK, I lie. We are actualy dumb as a bag of hammers, dense & very slow! "How are we supposed to fix this if he will not talk about it?" Short answer........you wont. Things will be good for awhile but this will come up over & over until the relationship crumbles & you two go your own way. And to be honest, him not wanting to be intimate with you tells me he is either playing a game & has other plans or has an STD that he is waiting to clear up. Thats my take on it although I dont know him. As for your needs............I'll wait for Spartacus to chime in!

But seriously, I hope you two either work it out or walk away from each other.........which ever will make you truly happy.

 

[lincha]

Vibes it is a very long story. How do I explain everything. We got married in church, this is a big deal to me. We made a sacrament to be together. We had a happy four years together before he had to go back to Mexico, like I said he had to go back to get his residency legally to be here. Okay so I couldnt live in Mexico with him because conditions are very poor there. He worked as a truck driver in a quarry there and only made $100.00 dollars a week there. I had to stay here to pay our truck, our home, our taxes our bills. Like I said in an earlier post when I went to visit him in Mexico by the third month that he was there he began to change, and Im pretty sure he became involved with someone else, because when I was down there his phone rang alot and he wouldnt let me see who was calling. I finally got his phone to see his texts and some woman was telling him that why wasnt he calling her that she loved him. We fought and I came back to the U.S. and I hadnt seen im for two years, until monday. Maybe I am just a fool I dont know. I couldnt move on until I could see him again and talk We went to Church yesterday, and I asked him if he still wants to have a life with me and he says he does. He says he loves me, but I dont think he loves me enough. So I guess I wait to see if anything can be salvaged from this. Do i love him, I think yes, why else would I put up with this. Did it hurt me tonight when I tried to kiss him and he turns away, sure it does. In regards to the explosion guy once he knew my husband was on the way back, he told me not to call him, says looks like I made my decision. So life goes on. What do I plan to do, think I will give it six months, two months, who knows. Life is hard right now. Live and learn.

 

[lincha]

Life goes on. I want the happy life we had before. Do I think this is possible, I'm not sure. Why am I posting this on here. Maybe because I find it to be a release of sorts. One of the things I have learned in life is to not put skeletons in the closet, face things up front, that is why this is difficult since he will not communicate with me about this. He tells me just to put my head on his shoulder and then he sighs. What's going on in his head, what is the real problem, guess I will have to wait and see. Do I have the strength to let him go? Not yet but maybe soon. Anyways thanks for listening.

 

[spartacus53]

All due respect Linda, your so called husband is just using you in every way possible. As far as I can see, you are just his meal ticket. You're still married and he tells you that it's none of your business what he's been up.. ridiculous. Thank god you weren't intimate, you have no idea where he has been parking for the last two years. Honestly, if my ex-wife would have pulled something like that, I wouldn't get imitate in a full body condom.

He is back because he wants a nice car to go with that truck you bought him. I see that you take your vows seriously, but that is no reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship. What what once your "Love Boat", hit that big iceberg and has spiraled down to the ocean floor, and it's dragging you along with it. It's time to don the life jacket and swim to shore. I see no sense treading water waiting for another boat to rescue you, swim to shore, dry off, and rest a little. It's nice to have someone in our lives, but I suggest not settling for today's flavor.

Linda, you really have to look deep within yourself here. I am not trying to be mean, or cruel; but there is a big difference in "needing" an man in your life, or "wanting" a man in your life. In your case I hope it is wanting one, then you can let go and move on

I was living in sin with my ex for 2 years and married for 7 and that ended nearly 20 years ago. My choice is that I want a woman, and not just any woman..... but I did get a cat for company

 

[Mighty AP]

Cats are nice,

Follow your heart Linda, dont make such a big decision based on anything us yahoo's say. You know the guy, you know what you want..........just follow your heart. And good luck.

 

[spartacus53]

Cats are nice,

Follow your heart Linda, dont make such a big decision based on anything us yahoo's say. You know the guy, you know what you want..........just follow your heart. And good luck.

I understand what you're saying AP, but sometimes it just boils down to choices and making the right one. So in this case I would disagree with the following your heart. Emotions are a tricky thing and you have to decide what you "want", or "need" in life. I try to leave emotions out of the equation, so here is a little story:

Choices: wanting, or needing.

When I was about 6, or 7 we used to go to a large shopping area in the Fordham section of the Bronx. This destination was 2.34 miles from my house ( Yup, I used google :P ) Since we didn't have a car we would take a bus in the winter both ways, and in the summer I was given the following choice. We can ride both ways and no treat, or we can ride one-way and stop off at "Jahn's" for ice-cream. Jahn's was a very famous ice-cream parlor. Now I had a choice. Did I ride and no treat, or take a bus. I can tell you I didn't "need the ice-cream, but I "wanted" it. The same applies here, you need to decide what you either "want", or "need".

This brings to to another interesting fact that we used to joke about. We would say some children are raised up, and other dragged up in life. I was dragged up, as my tiny feet couldn't keep up with my mother and was dragged home on many occasions. I still have the torn up pants and scars on my knees to prove it

 

[vibes]

Linda,

Looks like you're building a grand virtual support system
A dear friend of mine, and a VERY wise man wrote a book, "Making Your Mind Your Best Friend."
I thought I'd share some of his wisdom filled words with you!
As a side note...I get to see Baba Shuddhaanandaa next week --he's visiting from India. can't wait to see him!


Trust is deeper than just faith. It is indeed the most powerful gift God has given each human soul as he travels down the path of Truth Eternal.

In any relationship, trust is fundamental. Further, it is the foundation required for long-lasting love, friendship, and cooperation. It is not an accident that you start to trust somebody deeply. Trust has a karmic connection. The souls in a trusting relationship come to pay or collect the debts of previous lives.

When you start to trust someone, you invest lots of your energy to strengthen the bond. When trust begins between imperfect minds, with different tendencies and expectations, it often fails. In the end, you feel your trust has been betrayed. When trust begins between two souls who have much common and positive light to share with each other (due to the karmic connection), the relationship can remain strong and satisfying.

Your question is: should you trust everyone completely? Well, this is not likely! You cannot trust everyone completely because you do not have your karmic connection for that. It is an ideal and desirable philosophy to say that you could or should trust every one without any judgment. But is that philosophy practical and possible in a real world?

The stepping stones toward trusting others begin when you start to trust the Divine without any judgment. Offer the egocentric mind to the Divine without any conditions. It is only after you have practiced such surrender and inner purification that trust blossoms from the subconscious levels to spread its aroma all around to touch many, many other souls who are traveling along side you in the path of light.

You cannot force trust; trust has to blossom. In a higher state of mind it will blossom naturally, for you are able to see the Divine in everyone and in everything. How could you judge or get repulsed? Like the Ganges River, trust flows and touches everyone, wrapping them up in your divine love. Trust appears to me, in its pure form, as a divine romance. Divine romance is possible only in a heart filled with the intoxication of true love. Which is, of course, Divine Love.

Learn to trust the Divine residing in each and every human soul until such time that your ability to find fault is transformed by removing the cataracts of Maya and the illusive potency of Nature. It is only by becoming more and more anchored in your Spirit, through regular mediation and prayer, that you can reach the stage of divine love which manifests as compassion and love for all beings, beyond attractions and repulsion, beyond the dualism of ignorance.

 

[spartacus53]

Linda,

Looks like you're building a grand virtual support system
A dear friend of mine, and a VERY wise man wrote a book, "Making Your Mind Your Best Friend."
I thought I'd share some of his wisdom filled words with you!
As a side note...I get to see Baba Shuddhaanandaa next week --he's visiting from India. can't wait to see him!

Say hello to Baba for me next week. Here's a little something I bet you didn't know. I was baba's mentor. Other than that, there is some great information in there Linda!!!

 

[Mighty AP]

Wow Vibes, thats really deep stuff there. Hard to argue with an inteligent woman. Ive tried & I got my butt kicked everytime! So Im gonna stop giving bad advice to you Lincha, I wish you all the luck in the world, I hope that you make the right decision for you & nobody else & if needed me & Spart are standing by to go kick your hubbies butt. We wont hurt him too bad.........just rough him up a bit.