And this one you all know...
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Once upon a time an English pirate Captain *cough AARC? cough* took on a new cabin boy.
Not long after, as the ship sailed along, a Spanish ship appeared in hot pursuit of the pirates.
The Captain turns to the cabin boy and said "Bring me my red shirt."
The boy quickly obeyed, and the captain put on the shirt, engaged the Spaniards and blew their ship to hell.
Five days passed, and sure enough three Spanish ships appeared on the horizon and came bearing down on the pirates.
The Captain once again ordered the cabin boy to fetch the red shirt. He put it on, and in a masterful display of seamanship out- maneuvered the three ships and sent the lot to Davey Jones's locker
As the Captain handed the red shirt back, the lad dared to ask the stalwart Captain why he put on the red shirt before battle.
"My boy," said the Captain, "I wear the shirt in the event I am wounded. I do not wish the crew to see I am bleeding and lose heart."
Ten days passed. Then one morning, as the dawn broke, the pirates saw their ship was surrounded by seven Spanish ships. The ships bristled with cannons which were all trained upon the pirate vessel.
The Captain stood on the deck calmly surveying the situation. Then he turned to the cabin boy at his side.
"Boy, bring me my brown pants."