The Metal Detectorer... Story written by detectorist.. for fun

[islamoradamark]

Is that the same uncle fred that had on eye , he was that damned, dam guide

 

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[ticndig]

So as I think of ole fred and his passing ,I can't help but wonder how many gals he was smashing.
He once told me years ago " son I've had a lot'a wives but I've never been married. "
living a life like that had to be scary.

 

[chub]

Then I bought an Ace 150 with a 62 inch coil

 

[islamoradamark]

they say when he was metal detecting he was clashing with others, but the gals thought he was quite dashing others said he was just hairy

 

[chub]

or was he a fairy?

 

[islamoradamark]

he was collecting bottles and his middle name was Larry

 

[Molewacker]

In the privy hole he was buried -

 

[RustyGold]

And all of Fred’s finds, that were found underground were soon confiscated by those who he fought and those who he hated.

 

[chub]

and even by some of the hoes he'd mated

 

[A2coins]

and all the little ones that they created

 

[UnderMiner]

But no matter what's said, against ole' uncle Fred,
Bout' his gold teeth or glass eye, his hunch back or wood thigh,
He looked like a pirate, a pirate so wise -
that he once owned a parrot, and the parrot would cry,
'Give us yer booty - yer plunder n' gold!
Or walk the plank, ter' Davy Jones!"
But now the parrot was bones, still perched on his shoulder,
It's beak no longer squaked its threatening order.

 

[chub]

Fred had a brother called uncle Sam. Not Sam I am from green eggs and ham. His temper was high and eyes were shifty but nothing so mean as his Ace 150...

 

[MetalArchSC]

.... with a 62 inch coil you say? How can one swing that all day?

 

[islamoradamark]

he did so with the help of 2 men and a small boy, they only had problems when they hit that hard clay

 

[mick56]

The hard clay is giving me a pain, let's wait for some rain

 

[islamoradamark]

Saw some young whopper snappers in my spot, had to show them some pain with my cain, nobody messes with this ol cracker

 

[chub]

but who wants to swing when you can sit on your clacker? So the 62" coil was mounted to a ride on mower.....but I drove too fast and the two men and a boy yelled SLOWER!

 

[RustyGold]

Was that when you ran them over?

 

[RustyGold]

Back to Fred who is dead.
Someone said, “Fred may have swallowed the key to all of his stash”.
Truth be known they wanted the cash.
So they dug Fred up to find the key.
And was shocked to discover that he was a she!

 

[Molewacker]

It was one of his ladies that he liked to breed, trying to get the key, but landed on Fred and passed away slowly -- Keep digging