Top ten dumbest questions

I am Ironman · Jun 30, 2013

Top ten dumbest questions for the Detectorist:

10. Do those things work?

A: Nope. All this diggin I'm doing is for the love of holes.

9. Do you ever find anything?

A: Naw. I found a quarter once, but I returned it to the owner.

8. How much does one of those things cost?

A: Way too much. I had to mortgage my house. Or, if I am in a bad neighborhood, cheap! 50 bucks Craigslist all day long. You should get one.

7. Where do you get one of those?

A: You have to go to Japan.

6. How deep does it go?

A: Real deep. Ten, fifteen feet. But I like to dig the surface stuff. My back hoe's in the shop.

5. What's the weirdest thing you ever found?

A: Severed finger. Can slaw got this other guy real bad.

4. What's the best thing you ever found?

A: Winning Lotto ticket in a foil ball.

3. Have you tried the beach?

A: The beach? Holy carp! I ne'er thought of that!

2. Can I try?

A: Craigslist. 50 bucks all day long.

1. Is gold a metal?

A: I'm not making this up. Someone actually asked.

lordmarcovan · Jul 1, 2013

11. "Does that thing kill worms?"

12. "Will it help you find glass bottles?"

NJnuggetpirate · Jul 1, 2013

lordmarcovan said:
11. "Does that thing kill worms?"

12. "Will it help you find glass bottles?"

I found a bottle with cap on so it you can always answer sometimes

Gary1963 · Jul 1, 2013

What are you doing, surveying?

foiled_again · Jul 1, 2013

Just remember to end all conversations with "Don't forget to leave me something!"

I am Ironman · Jul 1, 2013

jeff of pa said:
I've been asked all those questions except Is gold a metal?

I've never given any of your answers though.
I've always been courteous, & even gotten leads by respecting the fact they probably just didn't
know a better way to get a conversation started at the moment.

and of course I always wonder how many walk away thinking I'm a B.S.er
when I describe some of my finds.

I never actually answered these in this way. Alas. I am respectful and courteous too. But, I guess these are the smart alec answers.

Uncle Jeff · Jul 1, 2013

I am Ironman said:
2. Can I try?

A: Craigslist. 50 bucks all day long.

SOB this should be number one LOL.. Even with my 3D planes and remote control cars that do close to 100 mph .. can I try it?

I am Ironman · Jul 1, 2013

foiled_again said:
Young child watching me at the beach: "Mommy, is he looking for money because he's poor? Should I give him some?"

Yeah kid, fork it over!

Hilarious!

I am Ironman · Jul 1, 2013

lookindown said:
When I have my detector submerged..."Is that thing waterproof?...WTH?

Naw, this things ruined. This is my workout regimine.

Charlie P. (NY) · Jul 1, 2013

Q: "Whaddya lookin for?"

A: "Unexploded mines."

Q: "Do you know that's stealing?"

A: "No, I'm removing litter."

Q: "How much does one of those cost?"

A: "Two-fiddy."

Q: "Is that a Geiger counter?"

A: "Yes . . . oh crap!"

All true.

NCHunter · Jul 1, 2013

I agree with Jeff here. I think you should always be courteous about people who may just be ignorant about metal detecting. In fact, I'd rather meet a new detecting buddy than scare someone away with sarcastic remarks. Just my two cents.

NJcigarman · Jul 1, 2013

With all your money why are you walking the beach looking for change??

NJnuggetpirate · Jul 2, 2013

NJcigarman said:
With all your money why are you walking the beach looking for change??

lol some people just dont understand the hobby

mikef · Jul 2, 2013

I though you were weed eating!

songdog · Jul 2, 2013

Dumbest question asked of me was "can I see your detector?".
This was at 11:30 pm, on the beach, in Destin, Florida.
The young man asked three times approaching closer with each question.
I knew what was up. It was the infamous "grab and dash", where a person asks to see your detector, camera, etc., and once in their hands they take off running.
I adamantly told him no, that I let NO ONE see my detector at which point he was only ten feet away. I already let him get to close!
So I asked him a dumb question.
"Is your life worth $700?"
At which time he looked down and saw that I pulled my .38 snubby out of my pocket and it was pointed at his jewels.
Needless to say, he backed off and went away rather quickly, as did I.
I don't condone violence, but I believe in the right to protect myself and my property.
In detecting urban areas I ALWAYS carry my concealed weapon as it can be "touch and go" in some places.
I have learned that some sites just are not worth the hassle and possible harm and will pass them by.
Oh well, getting a bit off subject, but I have to say that the dumbest question you can ask of me is "can I see your detector?"!

christo000 · Jul 2, 2013

songdog said:
Dumbest question asked of me was "can I see your detector?".
This was at 11:30 pm, on the beach, in Destin, Florida.
The young man asked three times approaching closer with each question.
I knew what was up. It was the infamous "grab and dash", where a person asks to see your detector, camera, etc., and once in their hands they take off running.
I adamantly told him no, that I let NO ONE see my detector at which point he was only ten feet away. I already let him get to close!
So I asked him a dumb question.
"Is your life worth $700?"
At which time he looked down and saw that I pulled my .38 snubby out of my pocket and it was pointed at this jewels.
Needless to say, he backed off and went away rather quickly, as did I.
I don't condone violence, but I believe in the right to protect myself and my property.
In detecting urban areas I ALWAYS carry my concealed weapon as it can be "touch and go" in some places.
I have learned that some sites just are not worth the hassle and possible harm and will pass them by.
Oh well, getting a bit off subject, but I have to say that the dumbest question you can ask of me is "can I see your detector?"!

Haha awesome thats great bro I like that

Tom_in_CA · Jul 2, 2013

well, this one isn't about the dumb questions people ask, but here's a smart alecky humorous line I pull on some people at the beach, if I'm detecting with a buddy:

When someone comes up to start asking Q's, I'll point to my detecting partner as he's digging a hole. I'll say "He's a parolee, and I'm his parole agent. He's doing community service by rotating all the sand on the beach" 8-)

Hi-Yo Silver · Jul 2, 2013

Person: You know anything you find belongs to the school?

Me: Yes, I have made arrangements with the recycling department to turn in all of my cans.

Me: Do you work here?

Person: No.