Wife just doesnt get it...

adaminnh · Oct 31, 2012

So yeah, im crabby. Im really wanting to hunt today but SHE is being a pill about it. Why? Could she really want me miserably moping around doing yard work? I put off a job even so I could go out today. (she dosent know that, sorry honey). Doesnt she realize that in a couple more weeks we're gonna be burried in snow and ice making my new found addiction impossible? I havent hunted in days now. Whats it gonna be like in february? Sure i'll have tons of clad to wash...but I might go insane. I can see myself pacing down the haul with an invisible machine and a wierd twitch in one eye. How do you folks cope with a long winter. How do you cope with a wife who just doesnt get it?

Escape · Nov 2, 2012

One time I came home from work and I told my wife that I was going to quit my job, move to Florida and look for treasure. She said, "If that is what you want to do you should do it. I could not live with myself if I thought I was preventing you from living your dream." I paused, and said, "You know this means that we will lose our health insurance." "Then you better find treasure real fast!"she replied.

strateloss · Nov 2, 2012

This is a compromise you and her CAN make work. I can't speak for others, nor am I judging. Things that work for my household or the next guys don't necessarily work for everyone else. But Md'ing is all I have as a hobby. I could care less about sports, sport bars, gambling etc. We have 3 young children and time for my wife and I is very limited. After our conversation about (my personnal time in general) she understood that md'ing was the one thing I have that I truly enjoy doing as a hobby. It gets me the relaxation time, and solitude that we all need sometimes.

Point is, if you truly enjoy it as a hobby, giving up something else that you don't care as much about, may be your answer. GL bud!!

PS, finding my first gold ring did help the conversation go smoother...

crazyfish · Nov 2, 2012

adaminnh said:
How do you cope with a wife who just doesnt get it?

Get a new wife?

Treasure finder · Nov 2, 2012

Pat-Tekker-Cat
I agree with you on what is the matter with people.
My motto is : Happiness isn't a goal, it is a way of life!"
Should work for a lot of people.
Rich

dougofpa · Nov 2, 2012

crazyfish said:
Get a new wife?

Or just walk out the door and do whatever you want to do...

strateloss · Nov 2, 2012

I'm guessing you guys that are posting some of this stuff, aren't married...lol

Treasure finder · Nov 2, 2012

Strateloss,
You are right, I am not married, used to get guff from girlfriends though. I just run out and do whatever I want to now.
Rich

rwd mo · Nov 2, 2012

Been detecting for 42 yrs and gotta wife that doesn't even know how to turn on a metal detector. Took her detecting when I married her 35 yrs ago and she made me do all the digging (no broken nails she said) well that ended that wife go bake a cake and I'll go detecting. shortribs.

gee_mg · Nov 3, 2012

gee_mg said:
I have this problem every single time and ends up with wife saying "you care more about metal detecting than you do about us (her and son). But, she changes when i find something good!

llooll just to add to my little 2 cents worth....she has been saying this since i started my hobby back in July12 which is about 4 months now.... Long story short she will probably be saying it for the next 4 years, 40 years, and 400 years (if i live that long)...... All i can say is I am not going to give up my hobby and she will still be there and BTW when my 22 month old son gets a little older i will introduce him to the hobby too....but it is rather funny that both enjoy going with me to the beach every time and the little guy sometimes follows behind me holding onto my scoop as i make lines in the sand to mark where i have been...... And even though my wife complains she still bugs me to have a go at it too.....

maipenrai · Nov 3, 2012

Ive been going out every night this week, leave at 10 pm, come home at 3 am. At least my wife can see by my "digging clothes", and the corroded coins, that I havent been to the beach, to see the local girls.

She still doesnt understand the tides, or why I cant wait till some other night.

Treasure finder · Nov 3, 2012

Maipenrai,
I was in Thailand so I know you just tell her "Maipenrai"!
Rich

Mzjavert · Nov 3, 2012

Another reason that I'm glad to be single.

s.c.shooter · Nov 3, 2012

One word = DIVORCE ! Just kidding ! Do what I did and buy your wife a nice detector,then get her to use it. Then she'll get it. Good luck.

extractor · Nov 3, 2012

O the drama this thread could bring, if the advice given was actuall used !

Chug And Red · Nov 3, 2012

JT1080 said:
Here is the short of it. I'm not a lazy a** who sits around and procrastinates. If something needs to be done around the house, I do it.. Immediately. Why wait to the point where you have to feel like you wife is "nagging". I never understood that and I never will.

if you're not confident or capable of being honest with your wife, well, that's not my problem and it's probably something that needs to be worked on.

As far as the continuation of this thread, it's over for me. Last I checked it was a treasure hunting forum. When it starts to deviate from that, it's where of hop off the train.

Really? This thread IS about detecting. he has a legit problem and wants help to get her more interested, Sheesh, if you don't like it, don't read it. Simple. Red

Chug And Red · Nov 3, 2012

AC1955 said:
Buy her her own detector (Ace 250-350, Coinmaster) and get her out with you! These are lightweight machines, easy to use. (I use a Coinmaster). Even if she has no interest in MD, bring her along. If you beach hunt, she can sit on the beach with a book or walk the beach while you hunt. If you park hunt, she can also bring a book or walk around while you MD. Has she ever been MD with you? She might not know what's she's missing! Try to take her out for a short hunt - I recommend to the beach as the digging is easy and you can usually find at least some clad. (Here I am assuming you are near a beach - sorry if I'm wrong).

Tell your wife this is how to spend quality time together, outdoors in the fresh air, little talking involved (headphones make it difficult). Go out for a nice meal afterward. My husband and I detect together every weekend. Even when I don't take my machine, I walk with him, help him dig and I get to hold the "goodies". Maybe we are a "strange" couple...we LIKE to spend time together!

If your wife has really no interest in MD, push her to take up her own hobby (quilting, knitting, scrapbooking?) and encourage her strongly to pursue it. When she is spending time on her own hobbies, she can't really complain about the time you spend on yours.

From a woman's point of view (and as a homeowner), there are sometimes you just have to "suck it up" and work on the house, do errands together, etc. Talk (and this is the key) to each other. If there are things that need doing at home, compromise. "I plan to go MD on Saturday and will fix/do the "X" on Sunday. Want to join me?"

Hope this helps.

HH,
Anita

Same here, I started going out with Chug, and soon wanted my own machine. I had fun with the pinpointer, and we have a blast together. Now we each have our own machines, and look forward to our time together! Red

Lasivian · Nov 4, 2012

I live someplace where it doesn't snow, and I don't have a wife

Calvin.Coin · Nov 4, 2012

I have been married twice. Once for 7+ years and once for 10+ years (no children). Both times, my wife was my best friend. Honestly, I could not imagine not involving them in everything I/we did. Possibly because of such a fulfilling homelife I never had the desire to go to the strip clubs or out with the boys.

The thing is, if two people truly love and, just as importantly, respect each other then the answer truly is as simple as "talking about it". Something as honest as "This is really important to me and I wish that we could share it." should do the trick.

And if you don't love and respect each other...well there's an answer for that also. Your spouse should be your trusted partner, she has your back and you have hers...mutual support. The world is too crazy for deceit in the home!

peace,
cc