This is a true story ..................
My younger brother & I went on a hunting trip (well, he hunted.....I melted snow with my arse & pretended to be a wildlife photographer) in Northern Michigan when we were in our early 20's. For those of you not familiar with "Hunting" trips.......most of them are spent in a local bar. This hunting trip was for the opening of deer season, and like most devoted deer hunters, we arrived a few day early to settle in & pick out out spots for opening day. The night before opening morning, we hit the local bar and about drank them dry, and then returned to out hotel at god only knows what time in the morning. Rather than get what few moments of sleep we could, we decided to go to Denny's for a little while, and then head for the woods. We arrived at our parking spot at the edge of the woods where we usually went about 2 hours before light. We had to be there so early because my brother always picked a spot to sit that was as far away as possible, which was usually a few miles. So we start walking, and after coming upon my spot, he heads off to his. After a short nap, I awaken just in time to see the sun coming up. A couple hours go by, and I decide that I have had enough of freezing my arse off, and I return to the truck and wait for my brother. After a while, I spot him off in the distance, and notice that something doesn't quite look right. As he gets closer, I notice that the hood of his snowmobile suit is missing. When he finally reaches the truck, I ask him what happened to his hood. This is what he told me happened............He had made it about half way out to his spot, when suddenly the urge to "GO" got the best of him. He looked around for the perfect spot to "GO", and spotted a small pine tree that was leaned way over, and looked like the perfect place to "GO". He then unzipped his snowmobile suit & pants, pulled them down, and "Went". After he was finished taking care of business, he got all his clothes pulled up & zipped up, and went on his way. After a few moments, he noticed that there was this "Smell" following him, but he didn't think much of it & figured some distance would cure that problem. After about a mile, he thought that maybe he stepped in his "Stuff", and decided to check his boots.....nothing. So he decided to check his snowmobile suite, and unzipped it, pulled it down, took a good look, and discovered that he..........pooped in the hood & had been walking through the woods with it!
True story
I properly disposed of the "dirty" tissues in my digging pouch...I didn't want to litter out in the woods. 
