An Open Apology to Dakotagrappler and Something For All Of Us To Think About

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Stormrider51

Jr. Member
Jul 21, 2010
97
60
Canyon Lake, TX
Detector(s) used
Minelab Vanquish 440
Primary Interest:
Metal Detecting
I had an incident yesterday that bears thinking about when selling on the forums. I had an E-Trac and, for reasons that don't need discussion here, had decided that a much lighter detector was going to be in my immediate future. I received an offer on an XP Deus too good to refuse and so posted the Trac for sale on three different forums. On all three I did something I don't normally do, I put "You can message me here or text me at 512-825-0460" for contact info. I don't normally give my phone number. I got the usual PM's offering trades and a couple of people who wanted it but didn't actually commit. Then I received a PM from Dakotagrappler saying he wanted it. As he has very few posts I asked for a confirming PM and also gave him my address. A few hours went by with me receiving text messages on my phone from other potential buyers but no reply from Dakotagrappler. Someone from another forum, who had been texting me, committed to buy and sent payment via PayPal immediately. About 15 minutes later I received a PM from Dakotagrappler that contained one word "Confirm". I immediately PM'ed him back explaining that the Trac was sold. While I'm typing that message another PM comes in from him saying he has mailed a money order. I suddenly have two people who believe they have purchased my detector. One used the faster technology of texting via phone and got there first. The other relied on PM's, was probably busy with his day, and didn't know there was a time factor involved.

Dakotagrappler is unhappy with me and I can't blame him. I'm unhappy with me too. I should have limited my contact info to either PM's through the forum OR my phone number but not both. I should have been clearer with Dakotagrappler that the Trac would remain for sale until I had a message committing to purchase. The fault is mine. All I can do is offer my sincere apology for this mess. The minute his payment arrives at the post office I will place it in an Express Mail envelope and return it to him. It's the best I can do.

Storm
 

Hey bottom line is you were honest and you did your best, I would not lose sleep over it...

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
 

:dontknow:
 

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U sold it to tge person who put up the money first. The other guy sould come into the 21 centery, no one uses money orders.
 

Bottom like seller is who decides, most common practice is to sell to who ever is first to commit with " I will buy it, how do you want payment?"

I have had detectors I was interested in sold out from under me.... Never upset with seller, it is the nature of the beast..

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
 

This thing happens I've been on both sides of it. Like Treasure Hunter said "It's the nature of the beast"... Stormrider you did everything you could do. It was big of you to come out apologize. Thanks! :icon_thumleft:
 

This makes absolutely no sense. How does someone know what address to mail a payment before a deal is done?
 

seller requested money order as preferred payment.

http://www.treasurenet.com/forums/t...c-plus-sunray-inline-probe-other-goodies.html

Not taking sides, Just saying

I won't "take sides" either but WILL tell you what I would have done in the same situation (it's always easier for the bystander to have input right?).

Since the seller posted that it was his and to send the money order for xxx dollars, that is essentially a binding contract in today's world. Once the buyer sent the $ the seller is obligated. The easier thing to do, and cheaper, would have been to refund the Paypal payment and apologize to the OTHER buyer. I can only say this because I have sold thousands of items online, ebay, craigslist, phone/paypal etc.

Either way, you have made an attempt to apologize and have made it on open forum. I congratulate you on this as many would not do that. Maybe help find other posts for a similar model he is looking for and help him find a replacement?

Hopefully both sides are ok and all works out, as previous poster stated S#1t happens...

JMB
 

I won't "take sides" either but WILL tell you what I would have done in the same situation (it's always easier for the bystander to have input right?).

Since the seller posted that it was his and to send the money order for xxx dollars, that is essentially a binding contract in today's world. Once the buyer sent the $ the seller is obligated. The easier thing to do, and cheaper, would have been to refund the Paypal payment and apologize to the OTHER buyer. I can only say this because I have sold thousands of items online, ebay, craigslist, phone/paypal etc.

Either way, you have made an attempt to apologize and have made it on open forum. I congratulate you on this as many would not do that. Maybe help find other posts for a similar model he is looking for and help him find a replacement?

Hopefully both sides are ok and all works out, as previous poster stated S#1t happens...

JMB


That's exactly right, and what I was getting at. Once you give your address that's a DONE DEAL. No going back, and no accepting a payment from another buyer just because it's quicker. I will take sides, because the seller is in the wrong, and it's as simple as that.

You should refund the paypal payment and do the right thing.


PS: Not sure what we all have to think about, keeping our word on a deal? I already do. Not trying to be hard on you, just telling you how it is. If I were him I would not accept the apology because you're talking like it was some big communication problem when the truth is you just broke a deal to do a quicker one.
 

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No, I specifically told him that I needed a confirming PM before I would mark the listings as SPF. Several hours passed without such a message. Was I supposed to turn down another offer and hope that the first buyer would come through? I'd already had a couple of others say they wanted it and that was the last I heard from them. When his envelope arrives I intend to determine the amount of postage he spent and slip enough cash in the Express Mail envelope to cover his postage and cost of the money order. I'm sorry if some think this is the wrong way to handle this but I would be just as wrong to punish the guy who took time to pick up the phone and make a call.

Storm
 

No, I specifically told him that I needed a confirming PM before I would mark the listings as SPF. Several hours passed without such a message. Was I supposed to turn down another offer and hope that the first buyer would come through? I'd already had a couple of others say they wanted it and that was the last I heard from them. When his envelope arrives I intend to determine the amount of postage he spent and slip enough cash in the Express Mail envelope to cover his postage and cost of the money order. I'm sorry if some think this is the wrong way to handle this but I would be just as wrong to punish the guy who took time to pick up the phone and make a call.

Storm

OK, how did he have your address, etc? Sorry dude, you are digging in a hole with no treasure in it now. Being a newbie member I didn't want to be rude... but he posted your address, the exact amount you asked for with shipping etc. THAT is a done deal. You can't get around that. How could he know where to ship the money order if you didn't say to???

No way out of that one... you apologized, now step up and do the right thing. Ask yourself what the honorable thing to do is?

I won't reply again as there is no value in it.

Good luck with getting resolution to both sides.
JMB
 

No, I specifically told him that I needed a confirming PM before I would mark the listings as SPF. Several hours passed without such a message. Was I supposed to turn down another offer and hope that the first buyer would come through? I'd already had a couple of others say they wanted it and that was the last I heard from them. When his envelope arrives I intend to determine the amount of postage he spent and slip enough cash in the Express Mail envelope to cover his postage and cost of the money order. I'm sorry if some think this is the wrong way to handle this but I would be just as wrong to punish the guy who took time to pick up the phone and make a call.

Storm
You done the right thing, sounds like he was to busy and could not complete via your message, it's first pay...simple as that, I have done the same thing dozens of times, you get a call or text, saying I will pay soon as I can, and someone else comes along and pays quicker...done deal.

SS
 

No apology needed. A sincere explaination of what must be done but no apology. My handshake is my contract but not accepted in most dealings. A pity. The "almost" buyer will back up and study other methods of payment and restructure his methods to conform..... or lose again. You can buy or sell a ton of gold by simply pressing a button on a computer keyboard. Less time than dailing a phone number. A business deal (today) is no place for sympathy. MONEY RULES! TTC
 

OK, how did he have your address, etc? Sorry dude, you are digging in a hole with no treasure in it now. Being a newbie member I didn't want to be rude... but he posted your address, the exact amount you asked for with shipping etc. THAT is a done deal. You can't get around that. How could he know where to ship the money order if you didn't say to???

Not trying to be rude myself, but how about reading the entire post and links before accusing someone? Post #3 answered that.



No way out of that one... you apologized, now step up and do the right thing. Ask yourself what the honorable thing to do is?

I won't reply again as there is no value in it.

Good luck with getting resolution to both sides.
JMB


The man never responded to his PM. Whoever gets me money first gets my merchandise, no ifs and or buts unless I know the person. I have wasted too much time with scammers, deadbeats etc. in the past to stop a confirmed sale because someone might eventually get me the money. You never ever send money without talking to the seller first in a situation such as this.
Send the money order back and be done with.
 

Stormrider broke no rules here on this sale so please do not attack him.

If he asked for confirming pm and didn't receive one in a reasonable time, it is his call, it is after all his detector.


If he was being shady he never would have made this thread.



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I very pleased with the appology, and he is showing that he honestly cares that he messed up.... And I do believe he will keep his word and get me my money orders back... But what I am most upset with is that my money is in limbo for the next week to two weeks.... I have to sit on my hands and wait for its return... I do not have a e-trac coming and I will not have the revenue to purchase one until I get my money back... Minus the money I spent to get him his perfered method.... I would have paypaled him... Grrrr... Now the twenty bucks and the ultimate time I could be MDing.... Is gone.


I think if this was anyone else... They would be screaming out loud...

I also called the post office to see if I could track my package and get it back... They said it would cost me $15+ and it would take appox 10 days to get it back... Plus the lady said it could take up to 60 days... That is their policy... Wow... She said it should be faster and cheaper if you would have him express it back to you....

What a deal.
 

I very pleased with the appology, and he is showing that he honestly cares that he messed up.... And I do believe he will keep his word and get me my money orders back... But what I am most upset with is that my money is in limbo for the next week to two weeks.... I have to sit on my hands and wait for its return... I do not have a e-trac coming and I will not have the revenue to purchase one until I get my money back... Minus the money I spent to get him his perfered method.... I would have paypaled him... Grrrr... Now the twenty bucks and the ultimate time I could be MDing.... Is gone.


I think if this was anyone else... They would be screaming out loud...

I also called the post office to see if I could track my package and get it back... They said it would cost me $15+ and it would take appox 10 days to get it back... Plus the lady said it could take up to 60 days... That is their policy... Wow... She said it should be faster and cheaper if you would have him express it back to you....

What a deal.

Is there a particular reason he can't deposit it and Paypal it as a gift directly back to you? Yeah it will cost him a few bucks, but you would have your money back right away after he receives it (assuming everyone trusts everyone here).
 

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