You know, I went to the place where he took his own self, intending to pick him up in spirit and take him to this place on the winter solstice. I drove around the place calling his name to come. I was about thru it and ready to exit , when someone came running out and stopped me, said my gas cap was off on my jeep. He was right, it was. No one ever stopped me for such thing before.
When I got up to the crypt spot, I played a beautiful eerie opera song to break the silence, then went into one of the songs he played to us on guitar at a family gathering. I never cried so hard in my life. My phone started going off with texts, and chats and phone calls from family...such a strange thing right when I played his song. I guess he was there with me, That's all I can figure. I had a gun in my backpack, perhaps there was some spiritual concern and worry, but there was just great sorrow and no ill intentions.
I suppose that spot had not felt great sorrow in many thousands of years.
I have things I wear to protect me on these sites, to warn off spirits.. I was not wearing them that day... I went up to it for him, and left it that way. There were a few other much stranger things that happened , but they are all only in my heart now and mine to remember.
Most everything I wrote on this board was for him to come back to one day. He was supposed to be the one to help finish the end game. The next 5 years will be interesting. I'm taking a deep breath on what to do from here.
I am sorry for posting all this, perhaps it is my own way of reconciling, I've been here for such a long journey.