CW. Jimmi is telling you the truth. The fact that her response and suggestion COMING from a woman should tell you like the rest of us here that you need to seek guidence from the Master, (Not me!!), the "OTHER MASTER"! I know I was trying to be funny!
God will give yoyu great things, but you have to pray for it, but also keep a good strong level head and do the right thing. Sometimes people do what our hearts feel, (even though it may seem right), and private parts, rather than using our brains and be smart about it!
Let me tell you a little bit about control. My girlfriend, which really she isn't, we lived together for over 11 years and even though our relationship is nothing to almost she will not even have conversations with me. People ask me why stay. Sometimes it is hard to leave even when we are civil to each other, but neither of us are seeing anyone or abusing each other. Yes, I love her, and I know she loves me, but things happened in our relationship that soured pretty much due to her GROWN KIDS! One daughter gets involved with guys, move them in, then relationship goes sour, kicks them out, turns to becoming a drunk because she is lonely, quist going to work, almost forecloses her house, well here comes mom to the rescue. Yes, I understand parents are going to be parents, but if you got a child in their late 30's that every 8-10 months year after year same thing over and over again, it is time to let them fall!!
Then her other daughter, I really feel sorry for her husband, because her daughter tells her husband he has to hand over his paycheck because she is the main bresad winner in the family and if he wants to buy something like a new motorcycle helmet, new tirs for his dirt bike, anything, she tells him he either has to sell something or make extra money because there was NO WAY he was going to use any money from his paycheck! YEah, pretty flippen sad. Well this same daughter influenced her mother because when I had my buisness working the motorcycle rally circuit her daughter didn't like the fact I was home everyday and didn't have a regular job. Well I confronted this daughter and told her it was none of her damn business what I do and if I wanted to sit around for 6 months and do nothing, pay bills, and what nots I will do so as NO ONE was supporting me. I even asked her daughter when I confronted her when was the last time she made $26,000 in 3 1/2 days on a weekend? I even told her my last year gross sales was $98,000 1/3 more than what she made at the time in 2009. That shut her up real quick when I told her if you compiled the days back to back for the year I worked, you would have 4 months of work! Mom didn't care that I went to her daughter, (she favors), and confronted her.
Lets just say our conversation didn't end well when I told her just continue to work for the man and never amount to anything!
So this was the problem with our relationship, but I do my thing and she does hers. Neighter one of us have not cheated, screwed around or anything. I know I do have plans to move out because I want someone in my life to make me happy as I will them, but I am not in a hurry to jump into the fire!
But I know some people may have issues of being with someone for so long that they fear venturing out on their own again and being single. The chocie is yours that you have to make. Keep your sanity and move on and start a new life, or be miserable the rest of your lives. Let me tell you one thing. You may not think your children know and they may not know, but when it does come to the time they get older, they will hear, they will see, and they WILL KNOW what is going on. I known some friends who stayed for the kids and their kids seen quite a bit, and guess what? The kids lived their life the same way because a child growing up in that situation thinks it is totally normal and OK to live like that.
You need to think on that part as well!
You got plenty of good advice from many people with experiences here. Like Jimmi said, go somewhere all by yourself and ask for help, get away from anything that is a distraction. There are also mens groups in every city that will help in situations and how to deal with them.
My therapy is getting out on my motorcycle and riding out into the country about 200 miles round trip, sometimes 300, and yes, I know it may not be the right way to speak to god and ask for guidence, (this is not the only time I speak to him BTW), but I tell you, not only do I get to see beautiful country side, I also come back with a peace of mind and see the world in a part that he has created for us to enjoy and he gives me a much more clearer head to think with!!
In fact I got 7 today.
