Control your emotions...

Crispin

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Jun 26, 2012
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Throughout my life I have been blessed to have many mentors, advisors, and friends. I may be a stubborn, firecracker that resists Bill's attempts to mellow me out but I never stop listening to a word people said. Even in the middle of an altercation there is a part of me that is listening and processing everything that is said. Storing it away to be analyzed for future purposes. At times in my life there are people who have said things to me that have stuck in my mind and rattled over and over in brain. Things I will never get rid of, a constant echo of sorts, but in a good way. I would like to share a few of those with you, my friends.

In the 12th grade I was a bit of a rebel. I was taking AP Government and causing all sorts of trouble in class. The teacher called me to the front of the class, had me stand alone in front of the chalkboard, and said: "Mr. Crispin, at the current moment you are making this class miserable for me to teach. However, I will not allow myself to be the only miserable person in the room. So, you have a choice to make in front of you. Are we all going to be miserable or are we getting to get along?" Her name was Ms. Ross. The speech got the job accomplished.

When I was an undergrad at UVA I volunteered for the crisis hotline to help people who were suicidal. It was a 24 hour service. It was run primarily by a specific demographic that I did not fit. Half way through the training they pulled me aside, confiscated my manual, and stated, "We don't think you are the right person to help people who are suffering." I said, "Actually, I don't think you are. I then handed in my manual and walked away."

When my grandmother was on her death bed from metastatic cancer, she was delirious on pain meds/ in and out of reality. I caught her at a lucid moment and read her a letter of goodbye. When I was done I said to her. "Is there anything I can do for you?" she said, "yes, massage my ass." Dumbfounded, I looked at her with mouth agape. She then said, "If you are not going to do that, then take the vodka from the bar and get drunk with your friends in memory of me."

Two years later, my grandfather was dying. I sat at his bedside to keep him comfort. He looked up at me and said, "Carry on the family name, Hitler didn't kill me and he didn't kill you, you will grow up to be a good man."

In my first year of medical school I was struggling with the basic sciences. I had a masters in psychology which did me little good in biochemistry and cell biology. I kept trying to apply what those academic principles in med school with no results. After talking about this with a good friend he said, "If you don't kill the education you previously had then this education will kill you."

In the depths of despair, on the verge of failure, I called my father and asked, "What would you say if I left med school, packed my car, and left." My dad responded. "I would say, welcome home."

When I finally got back on the up and up in med school that same friend drew my an elaborate picture and had it framed. It stands on my wall today with the words: "Fall down seven times, stand up eight."

In residency I was struggling with an attending who was clearly incompetent. I explained this in detail to my mentor and he responded: "How is that working for you?" The answer was obviously.....not very well.

Two years later, I was discussing a different problem with a program director I was having. He stated, "You have the moral high ground. Hold it, and you will never be wrong."

Words, words, words. Many more echo in my mind. These are some of the ones that help define me as a human being.

"Control your emotions or somebody else will." Rattling, echoing, repeating in my head they are. So simple, yet so profound. I will never forget who spoke them to me or how it has changed me.

I am lucky enough to look back and analyze how I have arrived at this place. "Control your emotions or somebody else will."

God Bless
Crispin

Ps. HCB, you know where I am...come and get me.
 

Good post Crispin, far different from the psychology of shout the loudest. But I've noted that you do not do that to begin with. You're gifted with an insight which does not always agree with mine, yet remains valid.
 

By the way, what the heck was the twigs & berries thing you mentioned in another post? I've read about many remedies, i.e. Cassies Tea, etc, and am a naturalist. And some of them work very well.
 

Crispin,

Very good post......we do the best we can with the hand we're dealt and hopefully not to proud to learn from others around us and yeah the screw ups we make....rock on dude....you're on the right path...

Another thing I've learned from the school of hard knocks quite often our greatest strength is also our greatness weakness....passion is a great attribute and pushes us to be the best we can.....however, it also has a habit of getting us into trouble....food for thought.


Regards + HH

Bill
 

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Of course being the analytic person I naturally am, I am wondering what your relationship with your parents was like..
As far as emotions, I believe a person needs to desensitize to them before they can tolerate the intensity without acting them out .
I respect your honesty ..brought tears to my eyes..:)


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Crisp, You are very fortunate to have had people in your life that cared enough to speak the truth and provide you with their words of wisdom...Obviously you meant a great deal to them..

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If frustration is logical ,what of its cousin anger? I celebrate being able to recognise emotions. My expressing them and my reaction to them are my responsibility
If i,m in charge of me. Having not had control involuntarily through medication by well meaning professionals was frustrating. Running a "flat" emotion,no decision ability or care leaves a nagging subconscious,(my opinion) some thing is missing. Maybe emotion variations indicate an important part of life. I,ve wondered why people who know they need meds for emotion control some times don,t take them outside of a forgotten dose. I think they want to feel a swing to confirm primal function,even if they don,t recognise why.
 

RC..I think they don't want to be one if the walking dead,!

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sadly yes!

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Good post Crispin, in everyone's life there are things that stand out. Be it actions, events, or things that have bean said. I think everything happens for a reason and sometimes it is years if not decades before we find out why...
 

Great post. People should always enter into discussions with intelligence, and not emotion. In many times of my life emotions have clouded clear thought, and you can not react rationally. You control your emotions, the same as you control your life.....with, hard work, and diligence, and with that my head hurts, and I bid you all a fantastic evening!
 

holding my tongue, ( which is hard for El Rushbo)
 

By the way, what the heck was the twigs & berries thing you mentioned in another post? I've read about many remedies, i.e. Cassies Tea, etc, and am a naturalist. And some of them work very well.

I just pulling RJC's leg with the twig and berries thing. I didn't mean anything by it.
 

ok, not what I expected

that's what you call emotional control
 

Tawanda,

I am sorry to disappoint you. I never claimed to be perfect. I admit. I am not a doctor, you have found me out. I just claim to be a doctor and care about mental health so I can take a lot of abuse from people who have a negative stigma about it. I'll stop pretending now and go back to being just Mr. Crispin.

Thank you for helping me,

Crispin

Hadn't seen much of the lady over the last few days. Felt her condescending attitude had been her downfall - obviously not. And she is helping people? Maybe she ought to take a good look at herself. There are clearly problems there. Keep the faith Crispin :)
 

It's amazing to me how new people come here, and state that theywere looking for a metel detecting site, post in places obviously not of that content, disappear for a few days, and then, POOF here they are again attacking someone. Seems to me to be a hidden agenda, and not one that is going to work.

Good bye Pysh., may you life mirror you perfect mind.
 

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