bigscoop
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- Wherever there be treasure!
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- Older blue Excal with full mods, Equinox 800.
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This post has little to do with metal detecting, and yet it has everything to do with it. In reality this post is about those life changes that effects our entire roles and abilities in this world, something I can only assume some of you have first hand experience with. So let me tell you where I'm at in life right now and some of the decisions I'm facing in this new race against the clock.
Without going into great detail let me offer that last February I was struck with a massive widow-maker that eventually resulted in a quadruple bypass, the extent of the heart damage from this attack and the body stresses from the surgery leaving me in pretty much a helpless state for several weeks. On the bright side, however, and against the odds, the heart has just about fully recovered and I'm now able to ease my way back into many of my usual activities and the prognosis for the future is fairly bright. So all good news, really. But in this I am still facing some issues that I have never dealt with before and they are both frightening and uncertain and frustrating.
Time. This is what the doctors say that I am facing now, enough time to allow the body to heal so that I can get back to doing what I use to do without any limitations, or at the very least, only a couple of minor ones. Like I said, I have been very lucky to get this second chance at life as the original prognosis wasn't all that good. And now comes those entirely new difficult issues that I find myself dealing with each and every day, that factor of time, or lack of it.
Six months, this is what they tell me it's going to take before I can once again go full tilt into the world. Recently I was released to go back to work and while I am doing much better I still have my bad days where my strength and endurance is very limited, these days becoming more few and far between but still coming around without any forewarning whatsoever. So on these days I'm pretty much a home body, usually taking it easy around the house. In reality there isn't a chance that I could go back to doing any type of scheduled labor like I use to do, not yet anyway. Maybe in a few more months or so, or so they say.
Money and finances. Honestly, the reserve is getting pretty low and it is never going to last another six months, perhaps three or four months if I'm really frugal. So I need to get back to work ASAP and yet my current health situation still places certain limitations on my ability to do that. But this by itself isn't the only issue, the second issue being a new fear factor that I have never known before. Folks, I don't care what the doctors are saying at this point, problem is my body and mind simply won't forget. It's like walking on eggs all the time. There is a part of me that wants to get back out there in the worst way and yet there is this new half of me now that fully appreciates just how precious life is. Not a chance that I want to risk doing anything that might see me trying to cheat death a second time, if that makes any sense. And so I'm still sitting around easing my way back into things, staying in total control of my physical output and activities each day so that everything remains in an acceptable comfort range. Call it a type of PTSD if you like because perhaps it is.
Doctors continue to tell me that those sharp stabbing pains and palpitations in my chest are normal, and while they might be, they are not normal to me and their presence is often a reminder of the many similar pains I felt while doing battle with the grim reaper on that damn helicopter just a couple of months ago. And I never want to go back there again. So I guess my question to some of you who have experienced this sort of thing is this, how did you deal with all of this? Honestly, I feel like life has its thumb on me. Damned if I do and damned if I don't and the clock is ticking.
Without going into great detail let me offer that last February I was struck with a massive widow-maker that eventually resulted in a quadruple bypass, the extent of the heart damage from this attack and the body stresses from the surgery leaving me in pretty much a helpless state for several weeks. On the bright side, however, and against the odds, the heart has just about fully recovered and I'm now able to ease my way back into many of my usual activities and the prognosis for the future is fairly bright. So all good news, really. But in this I am still facing some issues that I have never dealt with before and they are both frightening and uncertain and frustrating.
Time. This is what the doctors say that I am facing now, enough time to allow the body to heal so that I can get back to doing what I use to do without any limitations, or at the very least, only a couple of minor ones. Like I said, I have been very lucky to get this second chance at life as the original prognosis wasn't all that good. And now comes those entirely new difficult issues that I find myself dealing with each and every day, that factor of time, or lack of it.
Six months, this is what they tell me it's going to take before I can once again go full tilt into the world. Recently I was released to go back to work and while I am doing much better I still have my bad days where my strength and endurance is very limited, these days becoming more few and far between but still coming around without any forewarning whatsoever. So on these days I'm pretty much a home body, usually taking it easy around the house. In reality there isn't a chance that I could go back to doing any type of scheduled labor like I use to do, not yet anyway. Maybe in a few more months or so, or so they say.
Money and finances. Honestly, the reserve is getting pretty low and it is never going to last another six months, perhaps three or four months if I'm really frugal. So I need to get back to work ASAP and yet my current health situation still places certain limitations on my ability to do that. But this by itself isn't the only issue, the second issue being a new fear factor that I have never known before. Folks, I don't care what the doctors are saying at this point, problem is my body and mind simply won't forget. It's like walking on eggs all the time. There is a part of me that wants to get back out there in the worst way and yet there is this new half of me now that fully appreciates just how precious life is. Not a chance that I want to risk doing anything that might see me trying to cheat death a second time, if that makes any sense. And so I'm still sitting around easing my way back into things, staying in total control of my physical output and activities each day so that everything remains in an acceptable comfort range. Call it a type of PTSD if you like because perhaps it is.
Doctors continue to tell me that those sharp stabbing pains and palpitations in my chest are normal, and while they might be, they are not normal to me and their presence is often a reminder of the many similar pains I felt while doing battle with the grim reaper on that damn helicopter just a couple of months ago. And I never want to go back there again. So I guess my question to some of you who have experienced this sort of thing is this, how did you deal with all of this? Honestly, I feel like life has its thumb on me. Damned if I do and damned if I don't and the clock is ticking.
Been shooting a lot of black and whites lately, mostly simple mood shots. These are from a recent walk around the other morning. 
