The screaming kid next to me on the airplane.

mikeofaustin

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I realizeed right away the plane was full when the gate attendant was asking for volunteers for a 1 day layover. Once I was on the plane sitting next to the window, I was pleased to see the beautiful blond with legs longer than any other sit right next to me. However, because I NEVER get a break in life, shortly thereafter I hear the flight attendant say something about the women with a child can't sit in the exit row. So, they take my supermodel away from me, and place the mom with the 16 month old right next to me. The kid cried, screamed and kicked 95% of the time. And when he wasn't doing this, I was holding "The Little Train that Could" for him, even turning the pages while he danced his little plastic lion figurine across pages. Apparently, when a child is young enough, you can buy one seat, and the child can sit in the parents lap. This was NOT happening. He wanted to be everywhere but that location. After a very long while on the plane, I looked at my watch and realized it had only been 30 minutes. I still had 1.5 hours left of this hell. At one point, I was arguing with my subconscious urge to open the plane door and just leave the aircraft. Somehow.
 

jerrync

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sounds like a horrific flight you had. so far i've only had seat kickers snorers and people that think they have to yell to be heard by their friend sitting next to them
 

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mikeofaustin

mikeofaustin

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jerrync said:
sounds like a horrific flight you had. so far i've only had seat kickers snorers and people that think they have to yell to be heard by their friend sitting next to them

Yeah... I've had some other experiences too, but this one takes the cake. I once had a nursing mom next to me. I'll never forget that suckling sound.
 

cybercop106

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jerrync said:
a nursing mom ;D that beats my experiences any day.

I hear nursing while ascending in a plane keeps your ears from popping............

hands down beats the he11 out of chewing gum in my opinion :thumbsup:
 

Lowbatts

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I would have kicked and screamed and insisted I was the hot model's 6 month old infant and had to stay with her, sharing a seat if necessary.
 

Farmercal

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It could have been a 22 hour flight. Count your blessings.
 

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stefen

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That's why God invented diapers...if you can't stuff them into his mouth, then stuff them into your ears.
 

TheHarleyMan2

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Last time I was on a public plane was after getting back from Iraq in 1991 flying to Baton Rouge, La from Fort Bragg, NC. Of course at that time we were allowed to wear our dress greens. The lady at the ticket counter made a change in my seating and moved my seat to First Class and while I was on a 3 hour flight, after the first 1 1/2 hour in the air I became a Mile High Club Member with the gorgious Brunette who kept eyeing me ever since I got on the plane, prior to her appraoching me while I was on my way to the bathroom she kept giving me free drinks. After I was in the bathroom someone kept trying to get into the bathroom and I said wait a minute, after I opened the door she was there and pushed me back in the bathroom and you can get an idea of what happened next. My instinct took over, we must have been in there at least an hour. I asked her if she was going to get into trouble and she said another flight attendent was covering for her, MAN SHE WAS HOT!!!! She happened to be getting off in Dallas and was going to be laid over for her other flight the next day and also where I was to exchange planes and she talked me into laying over until the next day. I was going to visit my parents in B.R. so I wasn't in that big of a hurry! I thought, free room, a GOOD welcome back home to the good ole USA, etc, you get the idea. She took me out that evening and she wouldn't let me pay for anything. She gave me her number and we kept in contact for about 2 years and would fly out to Ft Bragg to see me, and then when I was sent to Somalia, I lost contact with her. DANG! I still remember her VERY WELL! ;D
 

truckinbutch

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Lowbatts said:
I would have kicked and screamed and insisted I was the hot model's 6 month old infant and had to stay with her, sharing a seat if necessary.
And nursed for the entire flight. ;D
 

Jimmy(PA)

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Babies, snoring old people, smelly people, Arabs, you cant win. ;D
 

stoney56

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My luck tomorrow is I'll be sitting next to a lady with twin 16 month olds. LOL The old Twilight Zone movie with William Shatner and the gremlin on the wing keeps coming to mind too. :P
 

Zephyr

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Too bad you didn't know ventriloquism. You could have driven the kid crazy trying to figure out where noises were coming from.... :D
 

K*E*L*L*Y

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since most of my fights are up and down the east coast ....its usually bumpy....for some reason i seem to
get seated the people that puke! nothing creeps me out more than the sound of another
person barfing! no matter how high the volume is on the ipod you can ALWAYS hear that sound!
 

Mental Granny

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A few years ago I had my oldest grandson on a flight with me he was 3 at the time we had a rough trip to the airport a truck ran a red and almost hit the hosptial van we were in. Get to the airport, and the skycap let me know (not exact words ) but, close enough that if I did not tip him BIG my bags may not make the flight, I could get him to help any he was watching a leggy blode out in the lot! So now on the plane we taxi out and are told delay! we are 45th in line to take off well stewardess would not get him a juice to give him a drink she sat there and sang and told jokes on intrcom, well Jacob stood in isle and kept the littler guy across the from us HAPPY everyone in our area loved it 1 and 1/2 hours later were going (flight is only 1 1/2 hours long anyway.Well he sits back we take off the baby starts to fuss again so he gets back up (light was off) and SHE said he had to sit back down. Kept the drunk buisness men in the back of plane from comming up to flirt, so now we have the baby across crying the whole way!
 

K*E*L*L*Y

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Goober said:
K*E*L*L*Y said:
since most of my fights are up and down the east coast ....its usually bumpy....for some reason i seem to
get seated the people that puke! nothing creeps me out more than the sound of another
person barfing! no matter how high the volume is on the ipod you can ALWAYS hear that sound!

So do you do allot of (fighting)up and down the east coast do you. I'm sure the barfing is from the fear of seeing the other person after you get done opening up a can of whoop a$$ on 'em. ;D :D :wink:

sorry.. flights! and no dont do any fighting .... its not my thing! ......!!!
 

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