Your Obituary

Mental Granny · Jan 4, 2012

There she goes ... she was soooo sweet !
She loved her family to the deepths of her heart.
She loved a few others though they never took time to notice.
Died a dried up lonley old bitty !
:evil5:

THEY NOTICED WHEN SHE DID'NT SHOW UP FOR WORK !

AU24K · Jan 4, 2012

I've toyed with the idea of being cremated, my ashes mixed with an aerial pyrotechnic device.

At the "Memorial," just about dark, the cannister that holds my ashes mixed with an aerial "display" be set off to a mix tape of my favorite songs, and a Friend yells, "Tap The Kegs!" "There He goes. God Love Him!"

Hope all can attend!

Best,
Scott

spartacus53 · Jan 4, 2012

AU24K said:
Many good replies; some humorous, some thought provoking.
However, they are not exactly what I had implied by this thread.

I know exactly what you were looking for. I was implying that a little blurb on the obit page wouldn't cover it :laughing9:

Unless it read this way...

Spartacus53
To learn more go to
Cemetery ABC Plot #007
Read tome

Then again, it's hard to get the plot number ahead of time in some cases

AU24K · Jan 4, 2012

spartacus53 said:
AU24K said:

Many good replies; some humorous, some thought provoking.
However, they are not exactly what I had implied by this thread.

Click to expand...

I know exactly what you were looking for. I was implying that a little blurb on the obit page wouldn't cover it

Unless it read this way...

Spartacus53
To learn more go to
Cemetery ABC Plot #007
Read tome

Then again, it's hard to get the plot number ahead of time in some cases

Sparty Friend,
I know what you mean by "tome."
However, in reality, details probably should be pared down to a paragraph or two..

Hard to do, I know, considering your unproven self oral history, but, alas, that's the rules.

My Best,
Scott

PS. CSB. My last wife was employed with a Cemetery/Funeral Home. (MY LAST WIFE)
I kinda know what THAT industry is about....Too Creepy! Feel me? Feel the heat of the crematorium?....

Oh, and a story about me doing some Electrical work in a mortuary....
THAT scene will be with me FOREVER! (Eye bleach=ineffective

)

ivan salis · Jan 4, 2012

i know exactly where i will be at -- wall spot already picked out , everything selected by me as far as casket color , and type and all the details picked out by me --its already paid for in full - dying no need to worry about it --now on with the living of life. -- I am happy knowing that if anything occurs to me my wife will not be stuck with dealing with the burial ghouls in her hours of grief - with them saying oh he deserves the solid gold coffin doesn't he? -- she can look them in their beady greedy lil eyes and say do whats been contracted --its exactly what he wanted -hell he picked it out himself. :wink:

AU24K · Jan 5, 2012

ivan salis said:
i know exactly where i will be at -- wall spot already picked out , everything selected by me as far as casket color , and type and all the details picked out by me --its already paid for in full - dying no need to worry about it --now on with the living of life. -- I am happy knowing that if anything occurs to me my wife will not be stuck with dealing with the burial ghouls in her hours of grief - with them saying oh he deserves the solid gold coffin doesn't he? -- she can look them in their beady greedy lil eyes and say do whats been contracted --its exactly what he wanted -hell he picked it out himself.

Ivan, Friend,
You would have been known in the business as a "Pre-Need." The other clients are "At Need." They ALWAYS pay more.

I'm glad you are prepared. What a relief of concern you must enjoy!

Me? Well, I've got a spot paid for next to my Mom in Lawrence, Kansas....but, I kinda like the idea of cremation and spread along my favorite hiking trails here in Georgia...(you see the personal conflict...)

Best,
Scott

Frankn · Jan 5, 2012

When I go, there will be no funeral. I will be cremated and my ashes will be placed in the vault with my wife's by my son on the farm. Father Tom & Father Joe will say a few nice words over me and the kids will blow the insurance money on a big dinner party and split what is left. Sorry about that undertakers! Frank

spartacus53 · Jan 5, 2012

Well there are some good ideas, but I will be cremated and have the ashes placed in a plain bronze urn. Always thinking ahead, I'll have my friend take care of the remains and have them travel at least once a year. I have it so well planed, that even after my passing, I will always get my "ashes hauled" :laughing7:

truckinbutch · Jan 5, 2012

ivan salis said:
i know exactly where i will be at -- wall spot already picked out , everything selected by me as far as casket color , and type and all the details picked out by me --its already paid for in full - dying no need to worry about it --now on with the living of life. -- I am happy knowing that if anything occurs to me my wife will not be stuck with dealing with the burial ghouls in her hours of grief - with them saying oh he deserves the solid gold coffin doesn't he? -- she can look them in their beady greedy lil eyes and say do whats been contracted --its exactly what he wanted -hell he picked it out himself.

Know just where you are coming from . Building my own box from lumber out of trees logged on my farm . Instructions have already been written and conveyed to those who , hopefully , will survive
me .
No embalming , no funeral home , no vault . Have a party/wake at the house . Drink some good whiskey , ride a good horse ,show the video of Garth 'The Dance', and play Waylon , Willie , and the boys
while you eat good bbq . Family plot is paid for and the opening and closing is a nominal fee .
4q2 , Mr. Undertaker :tongue3:

poorhunter78 · Jan 17, 2012

truckinbutch said:
ivan salis said:

i know exactly where i will be at -- wall spot already picked out , everything selected by me as far as casket color , and type and all the details picked out by me --its already paid for in full - dying no need to worry about it --now on with the living of life. -- I am happy knowing that if anything occurs to me my wife will not be stuck with dealing with the burial ghouls in her hours of grief - with them saying oh he deserves the solid gold coffin doesn't he? -- she can look them in their beady greedy lil eyes and say do whats been contracted --its exactly what he wanted -hell he picked it out himself.

Click to expand...

Know just where you are coming from . Building my own box from lumber out of trees logged on my farm . Instructions have already been written and conveyed to those who , hopefully , will survive
me .
No embalming , no funeral home , no vault . Have a party/wake at the house . Drink some good whiskey , ride a good horse ,show the video of Garth 'The Dance', and play Waylon , Willie , and the boys
while you eat good bbq . Family plot is paid for and the opening and closing is a nominal fee .
4q2 , Mr. Undertaker

You talkin bout that BBq'd Coyote Again

If so, I will be payin my respects early.. :tongue3:

worldtalker · Jan 18, 2012

Here lies Chris He got what he deserved. [In the end we ALL get what we DESERVE!!!!] God Bless Chris

warsawdaddy · Jan 18, 2012

I'll Be Right Back!

CaptainRobin · Jan 18, 2012

University of Georgia... here is my cadaver and a four inch stack of personal medical records going back to 1978. I've smoked all my life, drank like a fish, esperimented with drugs, and have led a hard and physical life with many injuries. Perhaps one of your bright young minds can find something here that will benefit mankind. When done, cremate the remains and have the UGA crew throw the ashes in her propwash in Sapelo Sound.
Robin
(UGA is the University of Georgia saltwater research boat)

Michigan Badger · Jan 18, 2012

He made all those who purchased his art very happy (after he passed).

rginn · Jan 18, 2012

This world was never his home but he had a pretty good time. He never met a man he didn't like. He gave them time to screw up and then didn't like em. Adios, mi familia. Nos vemos, cuando no se, pero aqui te espera. 'Ya mis lagrimas estan secando, con mi pistola, y el corazon'. No cremation for me, cause I might have plenty of time to burn later. I would like to pick the song list for my funeral, which might be a good whole nother post. Truckinbutch, cut that Garth song out. You ever hear that rascal talk about how rich he is? Put in Billy Joe Shaver, live forever.