7 things NOT to say to a Police Officer

[spartacus53]

I say live and learn.. These little tidbits may save you some money down the road..


1- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2- Is that a 9mm? That's nothing - look at my 44 Magnum.

3- You must have been going over 120 to keep up with me.

4- I was going to be a cop but I decided to finish high school instead.

5- Sorry Officer my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

6- You're not going to check my truck are you?

7- I thought you had to be in good shape to be a police officer.

 

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[stefen]

You musts been eating a donut officer...milk mustache is a dead giveaway

 

[GunFarce]

When they pull you over and say something like "Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?"
You answer with ..Hmmm your eyes look glazed, have you been eating donuts?

 

[Chadeaux]

[youtube=425,350]XOvKmUeLvVY[/youtube]

 

[Chug And Red]

Go Trunk Monkey!!!!!

 

[stefen]

Hey Offisher, did you plant cherrio's when you were a kid thinking they'd grow into donuts?

 

[aa battery]

number 4 is good

 

[werleibr]

Car driver- But officer I was just keeping up with traffic
Officer-What traffic there is no on on the road.
Car driver- See officer that is how far ahead of me they are.

 

[stefen]

Officer to speeding teenager: "Been waiting all day for you."

Teenager to Officer: "Got here as fast as I could."

 

[SeaninNH]

I have an ongoing personal joke that I pull on officers when they ask me how much I've had to drink. I ALWAYS say "I don't know.... about 14-15 beers."

I've never been asked to do the drunk test and I've had quite a few chuckles at their replies. Give it a try some time and make sure you say it with an honest look on your face. Don't smile or laugh. MEAN it, and watch the look on their face when you say it. It's priceless

Now mind you I do NOT drink and drive. I'll have a beer or 3, but only if I've eaten and always spread out and I always give a few hours before I get behind the wheel.

My favorite was when the officer's face dropped... He said "I can't believe you said that. I was expecting the typical 3 or 4 response. You seem like you are ok so I won't bother you with the sobriety test."

I told him "Well, you aren't an idiot and I'm sure you hear 3 or 4 drinks 90% of the time you ask. I'm sure you know it's bull crap so I figured I would tell you the truth."

He handed me my license back and said "Have a nice day"

That was my favorite one.

 

[GunFarce]

I have an ongoing personal joke that I pull on officers when they ask me how much I've had to drink. I ALWAYS say "I don't know.... about 14-15 beers."

I've never been asked to do the drunk test and I've had quite a few chuckles at their replies. Give it a try some time and make sure you say it with an honest look on your face. Don't smile or laugh. MEAN it, and watch the look on their face when you say it. It's priceless

Now mind you I do NOT drink and drive. I'll have a beer or 3, but only if I've eaten and always spread out and I always give a few hours before I get behind the wheel.

My favorite was when the officer's face dropped... He said "I can't believe you said that. I was expecting the typical 3 or 4 response. You seem like you are ok so I won't bother you with the sobriety test."

I told him "Well, you aren't an idiot and I'm sure you hear 3 or 4 drinks 90% of the time you ask. I'm sure you know it's bull crap so I figured I would tell you the truth."

He handed me my license back and said "Have a nice day"

That was my favorite one.

You pull that joke in Canada, you'll find yourself face down in the dirt with a dozen cops beating the crap out of you, and then charged with assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest.. The case will probably be thrown out of court, but in most cases the RCMP will lay the charges 'as' punishment.. By the time you pay the lawyer and other legal fees, get your car out of the impound, your going to be out thousands.. Oh.. Did I mention Most Canadian cops 'in groups' don't have a sense of humor. Just be thankful your not a polish immigrant at Vancouver airport..

 

[DainBrammage]

You pull that joke in Canada, you'll find yourself face down in the dirt with a dozen cops beating the crap out of you, and then charged with assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest.. The case will probably be thrown out of court, but in most cases the RCMP will lay the charges 'as' punishment.. By the time you pay the lawyer and other legal fees, get your car out of the impound, your going to be out thousands.. Oh.. Did I mention Most Canadian cops 'in groups' don't have a sense of humor. Just be thankful your not a polish immigrant at Vancouver airport..

Try that crap in Mississippi and they make you WISH you told that joke in Canada