Honest or Dumb? Opinions please

[lookindown]

I wouldn't have switched it...just pocketed the nickel.

 

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[TerryC]

Why all the fuss over a nickel that is only worth between 2 and 16 dollars? What's the friendship worth? TTC

 

[MrMikeJackie]

Why all the fuss over a nickel that is only worth between 2 and 16 dollars? What's the friendship worth? TTC

Exactly

 

[Boatlode]

And I could have also gotten run over by a tractor trailer on my way to collect the 3 million. The point being the situation at hand, the diff between my action vs what he would have done. Something that never crossed my mind until he mentioned it. Something so petty that will now distance myself from him. Really sad actually.

So you would have handed him a nickel worth $3 million? Is that what you're saying?

 

[scaupus]

I think you are disappointed in your buddy because you found out your buddy does not think of you with the same consideration that you thought of him. I doubt you will be passing more coins on to him, which would prove you didn't give it to him based on honesty -- on the principal that particular coins in circulation belong to a particular person, but because you felt friendship for him. If you really believed that a particular coin in circulation could belong to anyone other than the person currently holding it (except by contract, for instance if the terms of employment required you to segregate silver coins for the employer), then you should have given it back to the person who unwittingly gave it to you, rather than having passed it on to your friend. So, in fact, the coin did not belong to your friend, but to you. That's the rule. The finder is the keeper. You chose to give it to him because he is your friend.

And now that you found out that he does not profess the same level of consideration for you, you feel a rupture in your friendship.

But, it may not be that your friend has less affinity or consideration for you, than you have for him. He may be saying that you should play the game by following the rules of the game - the principal one being that the finder of the coin is the owner. He would prefer that if you find a coin in circulation, that you claim it, trumpet it, and score a point in the game, and that you'll be better friends for it. He may think that if you are too considerate, that pretty much shuts down the game, and when you shut down the game, you take out the fun, and you diminish the friendship, rather than enhance it, by being too nice.You took away the thrill of finding the coin from both of you, and replaced it with a misplaced moralism that is what really damaged your friendship, not his "greediness" or his "dishonesty." It's like kicking the ball into the goal for your kid, and then expecting him to celebrate because he scored a goal thanks to your kindness.

It would be OK to give him the coin in his change, only if you pretended convincingly that you had not seen it. Then he'd really feel happy that he had seen it where you had not. And then you could have had the unalloyed feeling of having done the most unselfish thing for your friend, and truly made him happy without him knowing about your "sacrifice."

 

[scaupus]

It appears you are trying to push your point and look like the good guy!
Normally people just drop change in there pocket mix and don't check it till they get home. He paid for the lunch and should have gotten his change from the pocket mix. Since you discovered the coin, it is yours.
What you are looking at is a point of discovery, not honesty. I bet your hats don't fit anymore! Frank...-
View attachment 1011527

you said in far fewer words, what i say in my post. I should have read your post first.

 

[mrwilburino]

Here at Tnet, no good deed goes..............unscrutinized.

 

[MrMikeJackie]

I think you are disappointed in your buddy because you found out your buddy does not think of you with the same consideration that you thought of him. I doubt you will be passing more coins on to him, which would prove you didn't give it to him based on honesty -- on the principal that particular coins in circulation belong to a particular person, but because you felt friendship for him. If you really believed that a particular coin in circulation could belong to anyone other than the person currently holding it (except by contract, for instance if the terms of employment required you to segregate silver coins for the employer), then you should have given it back to the person who unwittingly gave it to you, rather than having passed it on to your friend. So, in fact, the coin did not belong to your friend, but to you. That's the rule. The finder is the keeper. You chose to give it to him because he is your friend.

And now that you found out that he does not profess the same level of consideration for you, you feel a rupture in your friendship.

But, it may not be that your friend has less affinity or consideration for you, than you have for him. He may be saying that you should play the game by following the rules of the game - the principal one being that the finder of the coin is the owner. He would prefer that if you find a coin in circulation, that you claim it, trumpet it, and score a point in the game, and that you'll be better friends for it. He may think that if you are too considerate, that pretty much shuts down the game, and when you shut down the game, you take out the fun, and you diminish the friendship, rather than enhance it, by being too nice.You took away the thrill of finding the coin from both of you, and replaced it with a misplaced moralism that is what really damaged your friendship, not his "greediness" or his "dishonesty." It's like kicking the ball into the goal for your kid, and then expecting him to celebrate because he scored a goal thanks to your kindness.

It would be OK to give him the coin in his change, only if you pretended convincingly that you had not seen it. Then he'd really feel happy that he had seen it where you had not. And then you could have had the unalloyed feeling of having done the most unselfish thing for your friend, and truly made him happy without him knowing about your "sacrifice."

Ok? Your response makes no sense as this was not a friend. Read the orig post. And what I did was not an act of kindness but a way of thinking.

 

[Msbeepbeep]

Yes and we are wondering what the ulterior motive is?

 

[MrMikeJackie]

Yes and we are wondering what the ulterior motive is?

Why an ulterior motive? Why can't someone just live an honest life and make honest decisions. Why is it so difficult to believe that what I did was genuine.

 

[Frankn]

Why an ulterior motive? Why can't someone just live an honest life and make honest decisions. Why is it so difficult to believe that what I did was genuine.

Because you put it on display! When you mention something in passing, that is OK, But when it becomes a presentation, it makes some wonder. No one doubts the occurrence or in tension , Just the logic. Frank...-

 

[MrMikeJackie]

Because you put it on display! When you mention something in passing, that is OK, But when it becomes a presentation, it makes some wonder. No one doubts the occurrence or in tension , Just the logic. Frank...-
View attachment 1012085

Of course it was on display, that was my intent. "Honest or Dumb? Opinions please" I was just wondering if what I did was that unusual, I guess it was. But guess what, I'd do it again the same way. And if a big head is the price I pay, then I guess I'm going to have to get some bigger hats.

 

[Msbeepbeep]

You wanted other people's opinion, that's what you got. Then you call them thieves practically when they tell you what they would do.
Different people have different view points on a lot of things, sometimes we all agree, a lot of times we don't. None of us are perfect.
I can't tell you the number of times I have done the right thing only to get walked all over for it, would I do it again? You betcha! Because it was important to me, it was the right thing for "me" to do.

I don't view it as theft, but an opportunity, from what you said your "buddy" feels the same. It is a minor difference.
Like when we pick up a dime on the street, people usually say nothing, but if we are MD'ing and find that dime a lot of people think it is wrong somehow, that we are stealing, but we're not, just varying view points.
Some of us think differently it doesn't mean we are thieves.
Not trying to cause trouble, just trying to explain a different view point.

 

[airscapes]

who walked to get the food.. you or him.. you owe him change, not THEE change.. Lesson you take away "No good deed goes unpunished"! There would have been NOTHING dishonest about handing him his change and saying "Man it was my lucky day to go get lunch! I got a war nickel for my trouble!" He sure anit going to turn you upside down and shake it out!

 

[Boatlode]

Of course it was on display, that was my intent. "Honest or Dumb? Opinions please"

What are you looking for, a medal?

You didn't answer my question. If that had been a 1913 Liberty Head nickel, would you still have given it to your buddy? Yes or no.

 

[MrMikeJackie]

What are you looking for, a medal?

You didn't answer my question. If that had been a 1913 Liberty Head nickel, would you still have given it to your buddy? Yes or no.

Excuse me? No I'm not looking for a medal, and yes I would have given it to him. Your response is beyond just an opinion. I value everyone's opinion but don't appreciate being ganged up on by a certain few. To all who would have returned the nickel to its rightful owner, kudos to you. To the other few who feel the need to make excuses, shame on you. Yes everyone has an opinion, but that doesn't mean their opinion is always right. I never thought I would get so much slack for doing the right thing. I'm pretty much done with this. Let the bashing continue.

 

[Hot zone]

I believe that a person can have a different set of values than myself and still be a friend...I have had a few friends in the past that stole from me! It never would have happened if I had not put my own values and trust on them and allowed them to hurt me... So, like how a paddle lock only protects you from the honest person, I don't ever put complete trust in anyone else!

 

[Boatlode]

Excuse me? No I'm not looking for a medal, and yes I would have given it to him. Your response is beyond just an opinion. I value everyone's opinion but don't appreciate being ganged up on by a certain few. To all who would have returned the nickel to its rightful owner, kudos to you. To the other few who feel the need to make excuses, shame on you. Yes everyone has an opinion, but that doesn't mean their opinion is always right. I never thought I would get so much slack for doing the right thing. I'm pretty much done with this. Let the bashing continue.

Here's your medal - you're a better man than me. No way would I have handed over $3 million if I was the one who found it.

 

[MrMikeJackie]

Here's your medal - you're a better man than me. No way would I have handed over $3 million if I was the one who found it.

That my friend is what your not getting, you keep focusing on 3 million when the conv was about a $2.00 nickel. Either one you would've kept. It's a way of thinking. Two types of people in this world, those that would've given him the coin, and those that would've kept it, your the second type.

 

[jamey]

this would not of been an issue around my bunch as we never care about the change.