How to Get Permission (From the Wife)

[shaun7]

OK... I see all these posts on how you should approach getting permission from landowners. I have a roadblock even before the landowners. It's my wife. Does anybody else have this problem? How do you go about getting permission from your wives?

I guess she just doesn't understand why I would want to go out and dig holes every weekend. She thinks it's a strange hobby. It takes too much time out of a day. She's even said she would prefer I went golfing (It doesn't take as long). We all know that a good day out MD'ing takes at leat 5 or 6 hours.

My thought is other than recharging my batteries and driving to my location, the hobby is free. (Once you have your machine)

All I want is for her to accept my hobby and understand why I love it so much. It's all about the history for me. Holding something in my hand that nobody has touched for so many years.

I'm not wanting to go metal detecting every day of the week. I would be perfectly "content" with 1 half-day every weekend or even 1 day every other weekend. Does anyone here think that is asking too much? We just had our first child 5 weeks ago, so things have been busier. She has been fantastic with the baby and I appreciate all her hard work.

I love spending time with her and I don't want to make her mad, but I do want to continue enjoying my hobby.

Who out there knows where I am coming from?

I already see your problem, its plain as day.

OK... I see all these posts on how you should approach getting permission from landowners. I have a roadblock even before the landowners. It's my wife. Does anybody else have this problem? How do you go about getting permission from your wives? MOST PEOPLE HAVE 1 WIFE, NOT MULTIPLES.

I guess she just doesn't understand why I would want to go out and dig holes every weekend. She thinks it's a strange hobby. It takes too much time out of a day. She's even said she would prefer I went golfing (It doesn't take as long). We all know that a good day out MD'ing takes at leat 5 or 6 hours.

My thought is other than recharging my batteries and driving to my location, the hobby is free. (Once you have your machine) MAYBE SHE WANTS TO USE THE BATTERIES FOR SOMETHING ELSE. HMMMMMMMMMMMMM

All I want is for her to accept my hobby and understand why I love it so much. It's all about the history for me. Holding something in my hand that nobody has touched for so many years.
THIS COULD ALSO BE A PART OF THE PROBLEM

I'm not wanting to go metal detecting every day of the week. I would be perfectly "content" with 1 half-day every weekend or even 1 day every other weekend. Does anyone here think that is asking too much? We just had our first child 5 weeks ago, so things have been busier. She has been fantastic with the baby and I appreciate all her hard work. YOU PLANTED THE SEED SO NOW SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP
I love spending time with her and I don't want to make her mad, but I do want to continue enjoying my hobby. CONTROL ISSUES NEED TO BE RESOLVED

Who out there knows where I am coming from? NOBODY ELSE OUT HERE HAS YOUR PROBLEM, WE ALL LEAD PERFECT LIVES

oooooooooooohh somebody's tired!!

 

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[flyinguy]

my wife is a sweet heart. she lets me do as i please as long as i am a "GOOD BOY". i am. i let her do the same. i want to get another motor cycle. she said she fears for my life. why don't you go flying tonight bill? it is beautiful out. o.k. baby. bam! i'm gone. hey baby, i'll call you on the cell when i'm hangin' from a tree. bring a rope. she says O.K!

 

[deepskyal]

I'm back into the dating scene at 52 years old..and believe me...I am very upfront about my metal detecting with the women I have chatted to so far.

One asked me..."Metal detecting...what the heck is that? Are you one of THOSE GUYS swinging that thing at the beach?"

Made me realize some people DO look at us like freaks.

But after i explained what I did, the research, the history and what it does for me both mentally and physically, she understood it a lot better and thinks its a great hobby.

But....I don't live with her...sooooo.

Give your wife time to adjust...new baby, post-partum blues...etc....Things will settle down. Don't let her think you are abandoning her.
Al

 

[jelinda16]

Hi Aron,
Here are the best way man to get permission from your wife:
* Do lot of shopping to her or take her to shopping.
* Take her to her favorite hero's movie.
* Take her to picnic at her favorite place.
* Spend lot of time with her.
=========================================================
jelinda16
Addiction Recovery Alabama
http://www.addictionrecovery.net/alabama"]
Addiction Recovery Alabama[/url]

 

[Newfiehunter]

I have been a single man for 3 years and my first love is mding. If I date someone, I never tell the lady about my hobby. She will probably think I am a little weird and never want to see me again! Oh well, if comes down to a woman and this great hobby, there's no contest. MDing will win every time!!

 

[get-r-dug]

Well here goes......i'm a wife and have been married for 14 years (i think) thats awful I never can remember that one but anyway... my husband has always had hobbies. Fishing, racing (dirt track) etc...he thinks if he doesn't have two jobs and at least one hobby - what's he gonna do? Mow the lawn? God forbid. The kid down the road does that one. BUT he works really hard and over the years I have learned to accept the fact that he needs something other than his one or two jobs and me and the kids to fulfill his life.

For the first several years he fished and taht was ALOT of money involved, then it was dirt racing and that was ALOT of money involved, then he started a lumber/logging business and you'd think that would be ALOT of money coming in, but No it has yet to be productive cause he and his partner have full-time jobs also...anyway as I said he works really hard so I don't say anything (much) about his hobbies.

I used to go fishing with him and I would just take a book and read or whatever...but now I couldn't handle the dirt racing thing - I finally got to where I just stayed home.

Right now she does need you and your help with the new baby. Maybe while you go do your thing you could get grandma to babysit and that would let the wife have some time for herself also. Even if she just wanted to clean the house (lol) or take a nap or watch a movie...anything for herself......a long hot pampering bubble bath, whatever she enjoys.

Finally, my point is your marriage is young, you and your wife are young and in time you will both learn to compromise over alot of things if you care enough about each other. TRUST in each other being first and foremost. DONT lie to her about 'finding a ring' or anything like that, thats just lowdown and dirty.

Good luck and best wishes with the new baby.

 

[flyinguy]

I have been a single man for 3 years and my first love is mding. If I date someone, I never tell the lady about my hobby. She will probably think I am a little weird and never want to see me again! Oh well, if comes down to a woman and this great hobby, there's no contest. MDing will win every time!!

maybe she is a hunter too or would like to be!

 

[radarwill]

How do you tell a woman with two black eyes you are going detecting?
You don't; she's already been told twice!

 

[bearbqd]

I read this and realize how blessed I am to have the wife that I have. As long as I give her a day or two a week where I'm doing something with her, she is happy and doesn't care how much I detect. After a long day with her she'll say something like "Thank you honey. My cup is full. Now get outta my hair and go hunt", lol. Sometimes I hunt five days a week after work. She'll ask me in the morning, "Are you going to hunt or workout after work?" The reply is usually hunt. We don't have any kids either which really frees things up more.

The key is to compromise and do things for her too. I know some women are much more clingy and needy than others. I see that in my best friends wife who I think resents our classic car business and hobby as she sees it as taking time away from her. I am very lucky in that regard as my wife is very independent and doesn't need me around all the time. Spouses just have to realize that each of you needs your "own time". Being around the other half all the time would drive anyone crazy. Just make sure her cup is full and I think she'll come around. Good luck.

 

[homefires]

I don't have that problem! She just says , "WERE ARE WE GOING? "

 

[boogeyman]

Well Aaron you know that I'm old enough to be your mom...almost. Anyway I learned a long time ago that if anyone feels stifled in their marriage...it will be hard to stay happily married! I'm lucky that my hubby just says..go have fun...or goes with me on occasion. Everyone needs outside interests so make sure your wife has time to do her stuff too!! The only thing I worry about is that I detect with alot of guys and I think their wives will worry...well I hope they don't!!! As I said...I'm old as dirt!

I think that is one reason I like having a club also...legitimizes the hunts..."honey, the club is meeting today at....".

I have to say I am very happily married. That is not in question. I love my wife very much. I just hope the day comes where she will say. You know what, you should go metal detecting this weekend. Right now she just feels that every weekend is too much.

Maybe Every weekend is too much for now. Try sat MDing - sun (fill in the blank) where she'd like to go. Taking the time to take her somewhere fun for her can go miles on smiles. Not to mention giving her that really nice find or picking up a little something for her on your way back. Whether it be flowers or even a burger adds miles to the smiles list. At least she knows you're thinking of her while you're hunting, not trying to get away from the house every chance you can.

 

[Newfiehunter]

Hey Flyinguy:
It would be nice to meet a woman who appreciates history, antiques, or our great hobby. But if the truth be told, its not something I would bring up on a first date... I wonder how many husband and wife Mding teams are out there?

 

[flyinguy]

Hey Flyinguy:
It would be nice to meet a woman who appreciates history, antiques, or our great hobby. But if the truth be told, its not something I would bring up on a first date... I wonder how many husband and wife Mding teams are out there?

i think a bunch but i don't know. my wife doesn't and she only took one plane ride. her comment was " i tried it, i didn't like it, thank you honey but not again". hey, that would make a good post! Bill

 

[flyinguy]

pjroo wants to know....

how many couples metal detecting teams are out there? i want to know too. my wife doesn't but she does lots of nutty stuff with me. and she encourages me to go without any grief. sweet girl.

 

[cam9457]

You are a truely lucky guy flyinguy

 

[flyinguy]

You are a truely lucky guy flyinguy

this time around!

 

[cntrydncr1]

My husband will occasionally go with me...but not too often. He is happy that I enjoy this hobby though.

 

[Newfiehunter]

Hey Flyingguy (Bill)
Recently, I was showing a really nice lady my finds and there was one antique ring she really fell in love with and asked me to leave it to her in my will. She was really interested in Mding. The only thing was: she was married. And Bill, you're really a lucky guy to have someone who supports you in your endeavours.

 

[flyinguy]

Hey Flyingguy (Bill)
Recently, I was showing a really nice lady my finds and there was one antique ring she really fell in love with and asked me to leave it to her in my will. She was really interested in Mding. The only thing was: she was married. And Bill, you're really a lucky guy to have someone who supports you in your endeavours.

thanks, new! i am lucky. becky is such a doll. we are happy together. i found a neat bottle while digging my new septic. (fun) any how, becky's friend Jean said "how beautiful" i gave it to her. i love to give to and help people. Bill P.S. take that lady with you! i took a lady friend and first time she banged out a large cent. she said Bill, i found a washer. junk. as she wound up and tossed it i said wait! i hadn't the chance to teach her about taking the trash out. any how in ten minutes i found it again. old large, couldn't find a date. but still!

 

[jimb]

First off you should not need permission! If it is a problem let her detect for a while and when she finds her first diamond ring she will be begging to go with you treasure hunting. However you will have to get her her own detector. Good luck!