Meh I went down the MMJ road, even did it legit, got the card and everything, I must have had tried every strain under the sun, but in the end it just made it worse for me, sure I slept better, and gained like 40 pounds ( bad ) but with the many diagnosises that I have, and what I have listed up there are just a few, add in panic disorder and several others, the MMJ led me to severe panic attacks, I am talking heart rate over 200 beats a minute, and thats just friggin scary.
Doctors cannot seem to help me because I have so many issues, sure its easy to treat somebody with one or two disorders, but they say I have 11 major disorders, so in treating one say the paranoia, the meds for that cancel out the benefits for say my anxiety, my current cocktail, is latuda ( stopped taking ) which the side effects are hell, prozac, ativan, lithium, and sometimes forced meds, ( shots ) meaning if I do not go to my doctor when I am supposed to, the police will come and make me go, so much for freedom and liberty.
I am sure GOD has a reason for subjecting me to these trials, though it just does not seem fair, what did I do that was so wrong that I have to suffer like this.
Then you have to toss into the evil mix I have to deal with in my life, which is the word HATE, I would never use that word, but I know there are plenty of evil people out there and I think my mother inlaw may be the most evil of them all.
She truly must hate me for what she said to me one day, you know she wanted her only daughter to marry some rich doctor type, instead she married me, and I aint rich, but anyway, my mother inlaw, hates me, one day while talking to my wife about having suicidal feelings, which is common for me, how much can one take, my mother inlaw, knowing my religious beliefs, and I know suicide is like the worst act you can commit against GOD, and she says she is a devout christian, and I know she knows the bible well....told me on that particular day, that maybe GOD is giving me a way out of my suffering by way of suicide, now I dont know how others would feel about that, but to me, you HAVE to truly HATE somebody, to tell a suicidal person that it is ok to kill yourself because GOD does not want you to suffer...anyway.
I am supprised, typing these things out is actually helpfull to me, of course I feel as though I am probably painting myself into a corner here, people will think great a whacko, time to move out of michigan...bleh, I may be crazy, but I am not, nor have I ever been violent, I just do not have it in me to be that way, I was raised in a way that makes me love everybody, even people that hate me, love always trumps evil and hate.
/rant off I feel better now, which is a great thing!
Mike