I can't believe you varmints
I fall off the face of the earth during a possible alien invasion, and you all are so consumed with winning a million dollars you can't even take time to form a search party?! Way to have my back!
Not that you care but I was sitting in my grubby shanty when I was assaulted by the odor of cat pee. I went for my katana, but then a balloon filled with cat urine came through the window and I was done for.
When I came to the sun was coming up and I was standing in front of the alien leader while shape-shifting women guarded me. The leader was not happy because she had been enjoying the buffet at Golden Corral when we interrupted.
She did allow me to take a photo.
but then she ordered me to get Level 9 probing. My guards gasped so I knew that I was in trouble!
I was taken to their secret craft which was parked in Honest Samuel's cornfield.
Once inside I had to give my insurance information. Although my plan doesn't cover probing, I was taken to a room and strapped to a table while the receptionist cussed out my provider on her device.
Then I found out what Level 9 probing means. Not only did all the normal places get probed, but they made new points of entry!
In the end, I agreed to tell them how to set up a Tnet account if they would let me go.
Not only are they not very sharp, but they had Honest Samuel hanging out on their craft so why not ask him?
Anyway I am free now. Also you guys can go back to the front of the line cause I am back in Last
