Profound Statements

[stefen]

All I know is that Xlax tends to give ya a bad case of the Hershey Squirts

 

Amazon Forum Fav 👍

Family Maps of Hinds County, Mississippi, Deluxe Edition - Grab it through Amazon!

[levis_dad]

If you can't stand the heat....turn on the AC.

 

[greydigger]

Give yourself a year and read the Bible cover to cover!

Done that MG, with the King James version, naked in the middle of my 127 acres. I got a sunburn and enlightened.
Couldn't do the other ones at that time but did read most later.


eat when you can and sleep when you can

 

[Mental Granny]

Overtip Breakfast waitresses.


Haha ! See CTHII thread for that one!

 

[greydigger]

The pen is mightier than the sword - but the keyboard travels 186000 miles per second.

 

[levis_dad]

How do they get Teflon to stick to the skillets when nothing sticks to Teflon?

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

 

[greydigger]

Pickles are almost the only thing you can do with cucumbers.

 

[stefen]

Pickles are almost the only thing you can do with cucumbers.

Quite the opposite...many women may be in total diagreement with you...

They can be used in:

Salads
Soups
Condiments
Sandwiches
To make breads
Cookies
Cakes
A part of many dish recipes
Releive eye soreness
As botanicals...beauty aids
As medicinals
Treat swelling
Treat edema
Electrolyte imbalance
As a diuretic
Sexual aid
As non-battery powered aids
Something to throw
And so forth
.
.
.
.
.
Relishes and pickles, of course

 

[greydigger]

Gosh, after that, I don't even want to talk about zukinies.

Can a good bowel movement be disputed?

 

[stefen]

Beats the crap out of me

 

[Old Dog]

I would guess that imagination is the only limitation.

 

[Mental Granny]

Or lack there of!

 

[jgowans]

If a detectorist falls in the forest and no one is there to see it does he get embarrassed?

LMAO - Reminds me of when I got stuck in the briars. I was hoping to be found before the animals got me.

 

[sniffer]

It's awful hard to be a good Christian, when you're more worried about being a Republican or a Democrat

 

[stefen]

If you are a replubican does that mean your'e anti-socialist or anticommunist?

 

[Monty]

Why is it that if you wear a cap for awhile you can't tell you have it on, but if you take it off it still feels like you have it on? Monty

 

[greydigger]

If I pick up my can of beer and it is empty it must have a hole in it.

 

[Mental Granny]

Funny how that happens when the hole is in the top

 

[Old Dog]

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING


A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.


When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each
other.


When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of
your time and money to help people who had nothing,
and I learned that those who have something should
give to those who don't.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.


When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.


When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'

TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW WHO DO SO MUCH FOR OTHERS, BUT THINK THAT NO ONE EVER SEES. LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT.

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend) influence the life of a child.

 

[Siegfried Schlagrule]

Re: Profound Statements/Questions

2. Why is there braille writing on drive-through ATM machines?

This one has always bugged the heck out of me!!!!

WHY??

federal law - the only explanation for three-quarters of the stupid things you run into. siegfried schlagrule