Really redneck security system

[smokeythecat]

I've had two instances of burglars in 2013. First time this spring, alarm scared them off. Second time a week ago Sunday durned alarm went off at 5 am and I found out my response time from asleep to fully loaded was 2.6 seconds. Not bad for an old fart. They again did not try to get all the way inside. Anyway, Security system is real. Deadbolts on the doors. Motion sensors, you name it. Any other ideas? I'm afraid the morons may try again. I did think of a moat and fire breathing dragon but Wallymart was out of dragons. You know, it's got to be lower grade morons. I have a small house and all the money is in the bank. There isn't much here worth having, when you get right down to it. A pro wouldn't waste his time here, so this has to be amateurs or druggies. Either way, they can't read the big blue and white sign that says "ADT".

 

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[Peyton Manning]

sheesh, what kind of place do you live? are you les from the detroit pawn shop?

 

[smokeythecat]

In the best school district in the state of Maryland. Really far away from the city, yet only 12 minutes off the interstate! Has been a great location, but I suppose due to the economy, the creeps are getting restless.

 

[Peyton Manning]

ok, put the collector cars in the garage

 

[smokeythecat]

Durned, how about all 6 boats and the helicopter?

 

[Peyton Manning]

ummm they could be a clue

 

[smokeythecat]

House doesn't even have a garage!

 

[Hawk'n Dirt]

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used work boots - a really big pair.

2. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.

3. Put a 3 dog very large dog dishes next to the boots.

4. Leave a note on your front door that says: “Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition and dog food - back in 1/2 an hr. Don’t disturb the pit bulls. I had to put them inside. They are hungry and have just been wormed so they are a little edgy.” You best wait for me out here on the porch.

That should do it!

 

[smokeythecat]

I actually thought of that. I tell ya' twice since spring has got me just a little frazzled.

A few years ago, my brother died. That presented an opportunity for EVERYBODY in the town to go over his house, break in, repeatedly and steal what they could, well, almost everybody. A boat and trailer disappeared, a few guns, coins, and his boss who had borrower his chain saw never bothered to return it. After the third theft, I figured I knew who the culprit was - Mr. golly gee, what happened? He was hanging around like a buck when all the does are in heat. Anyway, I told him about the thefts, he did the golly gee thing. So in my best stare you square in the face and lie like all getout I said: Well, it won't be happening anymore. Of course, he asked why. I said I had some friends in private security (I actually do), and as a favor for my helping them financially a few years ago (also true), the were flying in a little later today and were going to watch the place. (a lie) I told him these guys were ex special forces (true). They'd be close, like in the trees, etc., (a lie) but whoever was stealing would never see them. They'd just be caught on camera, and boy it was going to be a shame for somebody to lose their job and go to jail over the JUNK they were stealing. His eyes got REAL BIG. Funny thing, nothing else was stolen from that point onward to this day. (true)

 

[SusanMN]

Not a redneck solution but I'd consider getting a gizmo called a Dropcam. It streams live video from a camera to the cloud where you can not only view it but talk to someone in camera range as well through a cell phone. I think it stores something like 24 hours of video free and you can purchase longer periods of storage if you need it. Price of the camera is around $150. Might not stop them coming in but it could help catch them.

 

[Alan Applegate]

Well.... It is a sign of the times. Take a look at this map. You can expand it, and center in on your part of the USA.

US Crime Statistics and Maps by City, County, & Zip Code | PolicyMap

Unfortunately, I live in Roswell, NM, and as anyone can see, the crime rate has increased to the point that it rivals Chicago, Detroit, and Miami, in major crimes per 100,000 population. Consider too, that New Mexico has nearly 70% of it population on some sort of governmental subsistence (food stamps, etc.), and the fact it has a very active drug culture (mainly in meth and grass). Add in the fact there are an estimated 75,000 illegal aliens living in New Mexico (nearly a third of those living in Chaves county), and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to come to a reasonable conclusion why the crime rate in Roswell/Chaves county, is as high as it is.

As alluded to above, Roswell and/or Chaves county are not unique in the number of violent crimes per capita. In other words, the problem has become USA-wide endemic! While my intent isn't to editorialize the issues, it should be apparent that installing all manner of security systems, keeping a well-trained dog, and even arming oneself, is becoming the norm, not the exception.

Oh! Let me not forget. I keep my detector equipment inside my gun safe.

 

[smokeythecat]

No Joe, no shooting in the air! Breaks sound ordnances! Joe Biden - #1 reason to KEEP Mr. Obama in office!

 

[Backbacon]

Have you ever considered Landmines or a Claymore or two?

All joking aside, I like the camera idea that Susan suggested. My good friend's Papa owned a gun store in Wisconsin up till a few years ago and had a sign posted outside both doors that said "whoever is found here at night will be still found here in the morning" it seemed to work for him.

 

[fmrUSMC_0844]

Punji stake pits around the perimeter should work nicely. Just kidding that's asking for a lawsuit. On a serious note, hopefully they can get those lowlifes off the street so they can meet Bubba up close and personal. No one likes a thief.

 

[BosnMate]

This would be a redneck solution. Get a double spring bear trap, place it in a place they will be coming in. It takes C clamps to compress the springs to get him out, so put them somewhere only you know about, and then take your time finding them. If the sheriff starts chewing you out, tell him that you needed someone to unset the trap because it looked dangerous, and he filled the bill. If the sheriff stays cranky then point out that you were just joking. After all, you wanted a redneck solution to the problem. Caution, don't do the redneck thing and get caught in your own bear trap.

 

[Papalittle]

Nation wide epidemic? I guess I should take they keys outta my cars and trucks, pull boat around to back of house and install locks on my doors. good thing about small town living everyone knows everybody and watches out for each other. un-heard of in big cities. My house is 118 years old and has never seen a lock on the door yet. If I was you i'd install security cams that are night vision type and a DVR in a locked gun cabinet bolted to the floor.

 

[stefen]

When i was a kid we used to make a door mat setup with 2 can lids, low voltage wire, a bell and a flashing light...when someone stepped on the mat...all hell broke loose.

Might need a garden hose to clean up the mess afterwards...

 

[Rawhide]

I had a issue this last summer and my brother sent me over a trail camera. It makes a big flash and took good pictures. For some reason bad folks dont like their picture take.

 

[smokeythecat]

I'll just hire the guys who run the Death Star and Darth to guard the place. Not really worried unless somebody would come in while I'm here. Pro would never do that. Pro wouldn't waste his or her time here. I'll pick up a trail camera. Already have three little red lights a blinking out there from cameras. Keeps the smart ones away.

 

[Msbeepbeep]

Smokeythecat do be careful! My red neck solution ; 2 large mean dogs that bite, wire the door knobs with live current activated when the mat is stepped on, a loud recording of male voice telling them they have seconds to leave followed by minor explosions and smoke out side!
Other than a good whoop'n not much to discourage idiot thieves.
We now have cameras & recording system. The sad part the thieves probably have more than I do!
GL to and be safe. Shoot first ask questions later.