Here we go again with the perennial dowser, LRL debate.
The feds tested the dowsing rods and found NO Rhyme or reason to their existence. TTC
I'm kinda liking that "sample" and "power load" concept. After studying on it for
a bit, I believe I've come up with what is sure to be the best ""sample" and "power load"
detection system ever devised ..
And, this amazing instrument is absolutely free to any man that is married......
Here's the secret to it all:
The human body, being approximately 70% water, makes a superb conductor
for certain wavelengths of electromagnetic energy, while at the same time
our brainwaves and nerves serve as conductors of our own, internally produced
electrical signals.
Ergo, we are essentially a perfectly designed, easily portable "power load". This
is a scientifically confirmed fact, and in truth, the human body is a far more powerful
"power load" when compared to any substance mounted in an antenna handle.
Equipment Required
Gold Wedding Band
Spray can of WD-40
Adult Male Human Body (alive)
Operating Instructions
Begin by first spraying the left middle finger liberally with WD-40. This will insure
good electrical contact, then install the gold wedding band, insuring that it has a
tight fit against the middle knuckle of the finger.
The middle finger is used instead of the ring finger for 2 reasons:
1) the path from the tip of one middle finger to the tip of the other middle finger is
the greatest distance across the body horizontally, and
2) the wedding band does not have a tight enough fit on the ring finger for an effective,
conductive electrical contact.
Now, as you look out over your chosen area, stretch your arms out to the sides
as wide as possible, and with the middle fingers extended. Fold down the other
fingers on the hands, as this opens up a wider path for reception.
The body is now in the "horizontal dipole" position.
The gold on left middle finger acts as the "sample", the male human body is
the "power load", and the right middle finger, when individually extended, becomes
a supercharged antenna.
Now, while maintaining your arms level, slowly turn your body in a circle, keeping the
middle fingers extended.
Did you feel any gentle tugging on your antenna finger, as if the gold was
drawing you to it?
If you do not feel that slight pull, not to worry as you still have two very effective
antenna positions remaining.
To shift into the "vertical dipole" position, bend at the waist only to the point
where your left middle finger tip is pointed directly down, and then extend
your right arm over your head, with the middle finger pointing straight up.
In this position, when a signal is received the powerful resonant frequency
of the gold will cause your right middle finger to bend at the middle joint, with
the tip pointing directly at the gold source.
Still no luck?
The only remaining option is the known as the "loop" configuration. Begin this
position by again applying a liberal amount of the WD-40 to your left middle
finger, as the WD-40 will aid in the physical formation of the "loop". To form the
"loop", the left middle finger must be physically connected to another part of
the body. Fortunately, the human body comes from the factory with an "antenna
port" already installed below the waist and in the posterior (rear) portion of the
body. Now, place the left middle finger into that pre-installed port so that the
gold ring (sample) makes a positive connection with the interior of the port, while
at the same time extending the right middle finger as high into the air above
you as possible. If done correctly, you have now created the conditions for
maximum reception.
The gold signal should be hitting the "loop" antenna so powerfully that you
will be knocked off your feet. The gold will be found in the opposite direction
that your body fell. (If you fall to the left, the gold signal came smashing in
from the right, etc.)
If no luck in one area, move a few miles away and repeat, beginning with the
"horizontal dipole" position.
WARNING: Never, ever use your Human LRL System when conditions for
lightning or thunderstorms may be present, nor should you direct or allow
anyone else to operate their own systems in such conditions. Due to the
extreme conductivity of the body, lightning will be
drawn to your
antenna finger. In the "dipole" positions, the lightning would travel directly
across the dipole, and would most certainly blow off the left hand. The
danger is 100x worse if you are in the "loop" position...
If gold is still not found, my suggestion would be to get your finger out of
your ...port, and go buy yourself a decent metal detector designed for finding
gold. Many people think metal detectors are all "smoke and mirrors", but there
really is scientifically verifiable science behind it all.
Honest.
No warranties are expressed or implied. If you're foolish enough to try this,
and are damaged, you deserve it. Consider it a lesson learned.
