Dear Mom and Dad,
Hi, itās us. Lily and Smoke. Remember us? We havenāt seen you in a bunch of cat years, hope you are doing well and arenāt having too many hairballs. Weās still living at the crazy old ladyās place. She takes this machine outside and runs it over the ground. Wes thinks she's trying to find the nuts the squirrels bury. We was hoping she would bring us a squirrel, but all she brings home are these "relic" and "gold" things, whatever they is. Itās not too bad, except for that one besturde cat, the black one named Satan, no wait, Smoke says his name is Dusty. He is jealous of the old bag and doesnāt want to share the house with anyone.
Iām typing, Lily that is, Smoke is too stupid lazy to do it. Plus heās dyslexic. Or septic. Or something like that. And he caint spelle.
Anyway, we have very nice beds here. I like the imaginery āTracyāsā room. Itās quiet in there and the besturde doesnāt come in. Heās like a big black bat hanging around the old bag all the time. Smoke got up on the couch all by himself once. I LMAO.
We get canned food twice a day, itās pretty good. We like the poultry platter best.
The crazy lady keeps the house warm in winter and cool in summer. We have to watch out for her because she donāt walk too good and she might fall on us.
She disappears most every day at 7 am and comes back about dark. We knows itās 7 am because she tells us that. We occasionally get a car ride, but itās not to the mouse store, itās to the vets. The biggestest cat, Lil'While, he catches real live mice. They donāt stay that way long. Itās exciting!
Crazy lady talks about retiring all the time. Are they going to put her to sleep? We kinda like her cause she does what we wants. Hope they donāt do that. Who is they anyway?
She has kittens, you and another one called this āTracyā thing, but we never seen the Tracy.
You should come visit us. Wes misses ya. Smoke is 15 years old now. My birthday was yesterday. I got pet. The old bat didnāt forget it. (Thatās because the vet sent her a notice on the lighted window she sits behind.) I also got canned food.
Well, we wanted to send you a gift, but the only thing we have extra is stuff out of the cat box and the crazy lady said the post office lady wouldnāt like that, so we decided against it. The besturde cat Dusty owns all the cat toys, although he donāt go nowheres near Smokeās blanket and I have a blanket too. We were able to get crazy lady to get a piece of our hair to send to you. Youse shouldest keep it forevers. Itās from us.
Love you both, come visit. If you see that Santa character, we hear he steals cats so plz shoot his sorry arsse.
Love, Lily the Brendle Cat and Smoke the Magnificent
PS: The old bat did retire and all she does is go to this TreasureNet Place on the little lighted window and chase the stupid squirrels with that dumb machine of hers. She hasn't not brought us ONE squirrell yet!
Hi, itās us. Lily and Smoke. Remember us? We havenāt seen you in a bunch of cat years, hope you are doing well and arenāt having too many hairballs. Weās still living at the crazy old ladyās place. She takes this machine outside and runs it over the ground. Wes thinks she's trying to find the nuts the squirrels bury. We was hoping she would bring us a squirrel, but all she brings home are these "relic" and "gold" things, whatever they is. Itās not too bad, except for that one besturde cat, the black one named Satan, no wait, Smoke says his name is Dusty. He is jealous of the old bag and doesnāt want to share the house with anyone.
Iām typing, Lily that is, Smoke is too stupid lazy to do it. Plus heās dyslexic. Or septic. Or something like that. And he caint spelle.
Anyway, we have very nice beds here. I like the imaginery āTracyāsā room. Itās quiet in there and the besturde doesnāt come in. Heās like a big black bat hanging around the old bag all the time. Smoke got up on the couch all by himself once. I LMAO.
We get canned food twice a day, itās pretty good. We like the poultry platter best.
The crazy lady keeps the house warm in winter and cool in summer. We have to watch out for her because she donāt walk too good and she might fall on us.
She disappears most every day at 7 am and comes back about dark. We knows itās 7 am because she tells us that. We occasionally get a car ride, but itās not to the mouse store, itās to the vets. The biggestest cat, Lil'While, he catches real live mice. They donāt stay that way long. Itās exciting!
Crazy lady talks about retiring all the time. Are they going to put her to sleep? We kinda like her cause she does what we wants. Hope they donāt do that. Who is they anyway?
She has kittens, you and another one called this āTracyā thing, but we never seen the Tracy.
You should come visit us. Wes misses ya. Smoke is 15 years old now. My birthday was yesterday. I got pet. The old bat didnāt forget it. (Thatās because the vet sent her a notice on the lighted window she sits behind.) I also got canned food.
Well, we wanted to send you a gift, but the only thing we have extra is stuff out of the cat box and the crazy lady said the post office lady wouldnāt like that, so we decided against it. The besturde cat Dusty owns all the cat toys, although he donāt go nowheres near Smokeās blanket and I have a blanket too. We were able to get crazy lady to get a piece of our hair to send to you. Youse shouldest keep it forevers. Itās from us.
Love you both, come visit. If you see that Santa character, we hear he steals cats so plz shoot his sorry arsse.
Love, Lily the Brendle Cat and Smoke the Magnificent
PS: The old bat did retire and all she does is go to this TreasureNet Place on the little lighted window and chase the stupid squirrels with that dumb machine of hers. She hasn't not brought us ONE squirrell yet!