Re: Parallel Universes, extra dimensions, & related UFO's, disappearances etc
Dear group;
It has been stated that several members of this topic and it's predcessor have driven these threads off-topic, Heaven forbid! Therefore, in light of these recent claims, I have decided to maintain an air of sensibility and responsibility by making extra-triple certain that I do not participate in any more of these types of shenanigans, my friends!
And now, without further adieu or pre-amble, I bring you "Lamars' amatuer astronomers and physicists guide to cooking! One mans' thoughts on practical goodness whilst viewing or pondering our Celestial bodies!"
Yes folks, you read that statemeent correctly! As amatuer astoronomers and physicists, we often times find ourselves awake at odd hours, trying to resolve a very knotty problem, "like what is our universe orbitting around?" and "Why is our Universe expanding?" or we may find ourselves waiting patiently till 2:30AM which is when Saturn will be at it's apex.
For these times, when the rest of the family is slumbering away peacefully and you feel the first twinges of hunger, don't just raid the icebox for a snack or a snadwich! No sir! Instead, you should fix a redneck style banquet fit for the king of the castle, which is what WE are! And so, I now present, for your home dining pleasure, "Lamar's South Texas Style Chickenfried Steak- A pictorial guide with instructions."
Now, let me start off by stating that cookbooks and utensils such as measuring cups and spoons are for WIMPS! As men we reject these things in whole! That being stated, allow me to explain the underlying photos:
Pic #1 Get yourself a small steak and butterfly that dood, like in Photo #1. Also, get some flour, 1 egg (the yard eggs are the best as they have a deep orange yolk. Those raunchy store boughts eggs with the pale yellow yolks are just NASTY!) and large Ziplock freezer bag.
Pic #2 shows about how much flour you'll need to put into the Ziplock bag.
Pic #3 Put butterflied steak in bag & make sure that it is completely covered in flour, squeeze out all the excess air, zip it closed, then beat the bejeebus out of the steak with the FLAT side of a meat tenderizer. If you use the jagged side, it'll destroy the bag. Don't go crazy with the pounding. Just whack it a few times, then flip the bag over, ensure that the steak is still well coated in flour and drive on. Keep doing this until the steak is about 3/16" thick everywhere.
Pic #4 Shows what the steak should look like after being mauled with the mallet.
Pic #5 Dump the flour from the bag into a shallow container which is larger than your now flat as a tortilla steak. Add the egg to the flour then add a small amount of water.
Pic #6 Beat the flour, egg & water mixture with a fork or whatever you have handy until it's a smooth batter. If you added too much water, don't panic! Just add a bit more flour till it's nice and thick and smooth. The trick here is to get the batter thick enough to where it comes off of a spoon when scooped up, yet not runny. The consistency of honey is good for the batter.
Pic #7 Place the steak in the batter making sure that it is coated completely on both sides
Pic #8 Add the amount of veggie oil as shown in the pic to a large skillet, then heat it up
Pic #9 Put about this amount of flour on a large dinner plate
Pic #10 Place the battered steak on top of the spread out flour, getting it well coated in flour. Do this to both sides
Pic #11 By the time you're finished coating the steak as previously explained, the grease should be hot. Check it by gently spitting into it to see if it pops. We all know that all real men do this when nobody is looking, so why not just admit to it?Put the steak in the hot oil and let it cook
Pic #12 Whilst the steak is frying happily along, it's now time to fix the gravy. Chickenfried steak without white gravy is just HORRIBLE! In fact, I think there's a law against it back in Texas. Anyway, the pic shows what you'll need. From left to right: Corn starch, WHOLE milk (none of than skim, thin milky colored stuff, plz) REAL butter (margarine is definitely wimp food, guys) and some chicken boullion. I use the powdered boullion, but you can take half of a chicken bouillion cube and shave it into a powder, which is basically the same thang.
The rest of the pictorial will be continued in the following post.
Your friend;
LAMAR
HA! OFF TOPIC! 
Coffee? MAY be a LONG, sleepless night... 
8)
<2 thumbs up!> Dang it Lamar, I am starting to think there are really far less things that you and I disagree on, than those we do agree on. 
