Unresolved grief!

[Doubter in MD]

I am taking it elsewhere!
I didn't need the comments about the guys dad killing himself and how I should just be strong and get over it.

Funny, same thing my mother says about the rapes that I endured as a child.
I cut her from my life.

Bye now.
See you in the next life.

So you didn't want opinions? Opinions on the matter of your father that you laid out in your original post are going to be as varied as the people who post on this board. You should have expected it. As far as the issues regarding your wife and mother, well they're new information that you didn't originally share but that you used to dismiss the opinions that were offered.

It makes me wonder who's trolling whom?

 

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[Gare]

My Mother made me promise to take off my hat if i wanted to Honor her. Some times i think of my mom 3 to 4 times a day She would never let me bring her flowers.The older i got the smarter i thought my parents were LOL

 

[Rebel - KGC]

Anger is part of the Grieving Process; MANY ways to express it. Anger at dad/G*d is a biggie; that anger is OK, if one does not create danger towards oneself or others...

 

[Peyton Manning]

Bye now.
I don't need Any of this!
POOF!

FU Jeff

Stay classy mike
If I had a dime for every time you “ quit” a forum.....

 

[BC1969]

I didn't quit.
I don't Quit!
If I did quit then this wouldn't have happened this morning.


Now if I wasn't suffering from severe untreated mental illness, then this might not HAVE happened this morning.
My wife laying there aspirated in her own fluids!


And lastly..these aren't the troll eyes y'all think they are.
They're the sleepless tear filled eyes of a broken child stuck in a man's body who is desperately crying out for help!


I'm sorry jeff.
I don't know how to handle this.

 

[BC1969]

Why does my wife keep having these seizures ?
When will it stop ?
It's been three years!!

 

[Doubter in MD]

There are free services out there. There's a link to an article below.


https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/mental-health-services-how-get-treatment-if-you-can-t-ncna875176

Use Google to find free help near you.

 

[Ammoman]

I don't think any of us are qualified to help you with your grief. We have all dealt with grief in one form or another and what works for one does not necessarily work for the next person. I suggest you seek professional help. Good luck to you and God bless.

 

[Rebel - KGC]

Admitting that you are powerless over your Grief IS the FIRST step... get help. Only a medical professional can answer your question about your wife's seizures.

 

[Rebel - KGC]

Why does my wife keep having these seizures ?
When will it stop ?
It's been three years!!

She needs to be by a NEURO-DOC.

 

[Rebel - KGC]

I didn't quit.
I don't Quit!
If I did quit then this wouldn't have happened this morning.
View attachment 1698227

Now if I wasn't suffering from severe untreated mental illness, then this might not HAVE happened this morning.
My wife laying there aspirated in her own fluids!
View attachment 1698228

And lastly..these aren't the troll eyes y'all think they are.
They're the sleepless tear filled eyes of a broken child stuck in a man's body who is desperately crying out for help!
View attachment 1698229

I'm sorry jeff.
I don't know how to handle this.

Get PROFESSIONAL help. "WE" can only go so far...

 

[BC1969]

Professional help isn't an option.
This is all I can afford.
I just have reached the point of hopelessness.
When there isn't anywhere to turn, what next ?

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be angry or a jerk. That isn't who I am.

 

[Truth]

I’m sorry he did that. I think that’s a very selfish thing to ask and I don’t think he meant it that way and out of all the promises to keep I think that was a unhealthy one. We as men have to cry sometimes to heal ourselves if not we get sick. I still cry thinking about my momma at times. Funny how she knew my self destruction and that was guilt.

The best gift my mother ever gave me was when she got cancer. I was a boy that gave her grief in life with my own demons to deal with which she was sucked into. I cleaned up my act in my 40’s had a great girl and he took care of her during these times. Being a momma’s boy all my life I always had guilt of all the things I put her through that I could never take back. She took a turn for the worst after a 2 year battle with cancer she was rushed to hospice. They called and said we should really come now. We had a big wedding planned in 6 months and my Queen said, “We’re getting married today!” I said, “Done”. They took her off her pain meds and we got married that night in her room. She told me, “Dean whatever guilt you may have take that off your plate you have made me so happy” That was the best gift I ever received. She passed 2 days later.

 

[releventchair]

 

[Peyton Manning]

I didn't quit.
I don't Quit!
If I did quit then this wouldn't have happened this morning.
View attachment 1698227

Now if I wasn't suffering from severe untreated mental illness, then this might not HAVE happened this morning.
My wife laying there aspirated in her own fluids!
View attachment 1698228

And lastly..these aren't the troll eyes y'all think they are.
They're the sleepless tear filled eyes of a broken child stuck in a man's body who is desperately crying out for help!
View attachment 1698229

I'm sorry jeff.
I don't know how to handle this.

It’s ok mike, none of us is against you.
People add their thoughts hoping it will help, that’s all

 

[Truth]

I suffered from paralyzing anxiety and depression did leave a bed for a year. Go seek out a doctor at a government sponsored clinic they are there. I will keep you both in my prayers. [emoji1317]

 

[BC1969]

I'm sorry again to all on this thread.
I really don't mean or intend hostility.
I've reached a level of stress that should NOT exist!
I have to remember to put God first in everything that I do.
Hostility or taking others comments wrong wouldn't happen if I put God first.

I'm trying.
My wife's care is in God's hands only.
We can't afford the co-pays.
That's life.
I'm not bitter about our situation.
I caused this with many bad decisions over the years.
She's my only light in this darkness.
I guess there is one comfort in that she never remembers the seizures.
She bit her tongue bad.
I didn't hear it until it was almost over.
I'm so glad she doesn't remember.
It is terrifying!
And I ain't scared of nothin'!
So violent the movements her body makes. They told me once that in that seizure, her body and muscles basically just ran five marathons simultaneously!
God's name ??
Because of the lack of testing, we still don't know if these seizures are from her multiple sclerosis advancing or from when she went cold turkey off the opiates.

Please, please just pray that I can see this through and stop being consumed by my own BS so that I can make my love as comfortable and happy as I can.
I feel like I am failing her and myself as a Man.

Mike

P.S.
I'll respond individually to all of you eventually.
It's rough now.

 

[Truth]

I'm sorry again to all on this thread.
I really don't mean or intend hostility.
I've reached a level of stress that should NOT exist!
I have to remember to put God first in everything that I do.
Hostility or taking others comments wrong wouldn't happen if I put God first.

I'm trying.
My wife's care is in God's hands only.
We can't afford the co-pays.
That's life.
I'm not bitter about our situation.
I caused this with many bad decisions over the years.
She's my only light in this darkness.
I guess there is one comfort in that she never remembers the seizures.
She bit her tongue bad.
I didn't hear it until it was almost over.
I'm so glad she doesn't remember.
It is terrifying!
And I ain't scared of nothin'!
So violent the movements her body makes. They told me once that in that seizure, her body and muscles basically just ran five marathons simultaneously!
God's name ??
Because of the lack of testing, we still don't know if these seizures are from her multiple sclerosis advancing or from when she went cold turkey off the opiates.

Please, please just pray that I can see this through and stop being consumed by my own BS so that I can make my love as comfortable and happy as I can.
I feel like I am failing her and myself as a Man.

Mike

P.S.
I'll respond individually to all of you eventually.
It's rough now.

We understand take care of your Queen AND yourself.

P.S. Before you go to bed at night PHYSICALLY get downing your knees besides your bed and pray......don’t rush it. Little advice from a sober opiate addict who’s gone through a lot of metal and physical pain. May God be with you both [emoji1317]

 

[Rebel - KGC]

YEP! YOU have THREE aspects to pray about: Lack of $$$$$$$$$$$$$, Hospice for your wife or treatment by Neuro-Doc, unresolved grief for YOUR-SELF. YOU can ONLY deal with YOUR unresolved grief/promises not made that YOU feel guilty about (to YOUR dad); HOPE it works out for you.

 

[DeepseekerADS]

Professional help isn't an option.

Yes it is, there's all kinds of groups out there to help support you.

NEVER give up trying to find help. And my friend, it's bad for your wife if you too - give up. Where but you in her life, can she find support?