I always keep an empty milk bottle in my fridge, just in case someone wants a black coffee.
If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?
A problem shared is a problem halved. Unless your problem is understanding fractions.
Just heard that the Pillsbury Doughboy has died. Tragic case. Yeast infection.
I discovered it's not so easy to donate a kidney as you think. They ask all sorts of questions, like: "Where did you get it?" and "Whose is it?"
I found a Stradivarius and a Picasso in the attic. Not worth much though. Stradivarius couldn't paint and Picasso made rubbish violins.
Microsoft made me strengthen my Windows password. They said it had to be eight characters, so I chose "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"
Like my Grandad always said: "as one door closes, another opens". Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
