Know that stretch of road all too well. I'd run 299 from Redding over to Arcata, and
then up the 101 to Crescent City. There is/was a particle board factory there in Crescent
City, and they made stuff that was 8' x 14' that was used as flooring in manufactured
homes built near Denver. It was some super slick stuff, and if you didn't strap it
correctly, the whole load could slide right out on a corner, just like a new deck of cards.
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On 199 they have caution signs recommending a max of 30' from kingpin to rear axle,
and with the flatbed I was at 42'. There are a number of tight, blind corners where I'd
need both lanes (on a 2 lane hwy) to make it around, and it was always a crap shoot, as
in the daytime you could not see oncoming traffic. So, I'd leave Redding about 10pm
so I could at least see the glow of oncoming headlights on those corners, and then get into
Crescent City right on schedule.
I'd leave Crescent City and run out 199 into Grants Pass where I'd pick up I-5. That bit
in Calif. before you hit the Ore. border is no fun at all. Several times I had a CHP right
on my ass all the way through the big timber, and there is no room for error on the corners
as trees are right at the pavement edge. I believe the rule was "scratch a tree and go to jail".
Absolutely sucked in the summer with all the tourist traffic, and in winter it would ice up
like a skating rink.
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There are times when I actually miss all that fun...but just for a minute or two.
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Song by
C. W. McCall
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Me an' Earl was haulin' chickens
On the flatbed out of Wiggins
And we'd spent all night
On the uphill side
Of thirty-seven miles of Hell
Called Wolf Creek Pass
Which is up on the Great Divide
We was settin' there suckin' toothpicks
An' drinkin' Nehis and onion soup mix
And I says: "Earl, let's mail a card to mother
And then send them chickens
On down to the other side
Yeah, let's give 'em a ride"
Wolf Creek Pass
Way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side
Well, Earl put down his bottle
Mashed his foot down on the throttle
And then a couple a boobs
With a thousand cubes
Within a nineteen-forty-eight Peterbilt
Screamed to life
We woke up the chickens
We roared up offa that shoulder
Sprayin' pine cones, rocks, and boulders
And put four hundred head
Of them Rhode Island Reds
And a couple a' burnt-out roosters on the line
Look out below
'Cause here we go!
Wolf Creek Pass
Way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side
Well, we commenced ta truckin'
And them hens commenced ta cluckin'
And then Earl took out a match
And scratched his pants
And lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar
And took a puff
Says: "My, ain't this pretty up here?!"
I says: "Earl, this hill can spill us
You better slow down
Or you gonna kill us"
"Just make one mistake
And it's the Pearly Gates
For them eighty-five crates
Of USDA-approved cluckers
You wanna hit second?"
Wolf Creek Pass
Way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side
Well, Earl grabbed on the shifter
And he stabbed her into fifth gear
And then the chromium-plated
Fully-illuminated
Genuine accessory shift knob
Come right off in his hand
I says: "You wanna screw that thing back on, Earl?"
He was tryin' to thread it on there
When the fire fell offa his cigar
And dropped on down
Sorta rolled around
And then lit in the cuff of Earl's pants
And burned a hole in his sock
Yeah, sorta set him right on fire
I looked on outta the window
And I started countin' phone poles
Goin' by at the rate of four to the seventh power
Well I put two and two together
And added twelve and carried five
And come up with twenty-two thousand
Telephone poles an hour
I looked at Earl and his eyes was wide
His lip was curled
And his leg was fried
And his hand was froze to the wheel
Like a tongue to a sled
In the middle of a blizzard
I says: Earl, "I'm not the type to complain
But the time has come for me to explain
That if you don't apply some brake real soon
They're gonna have to pick us up
With a stick and a spoon"
Well, Earl reared back
And cocked his leg
Stepped down as hard as he could on the brake
And the pedal went clear to the floor
And stayed right there on the floor
And he says it was sorta like steppin' on a plum
Well, from there on down
It just wasn't real pretty
It was hairpin county
And switchback city
One of 'em looked like a can fulla worms
Another one looked like malaria germs
Right in the middle of the whole damn show
Was a real nice tunnel
Now wouldn't you know?
Sign says clearance to the twelve-foot line
But the chickens was stacked to thirteen-nine
Well we shot that tunnel at a hundred-and-ten
Like gas through a funnel and eggs through a hen
We took that top row of chickens off
Slicker than scum off a Louisiana swamp
Went down and around and around and down
We run outta ground at the edge of town
Bashed into the side of a feed store
In downtown Pagosa Springs
Wolf Creek Pass
Way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side
Wolf Creek Pass
Way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side
